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Old 10-16-2011, 06:03 AM
 
Location: Iowa, Heartland of Murica
3,437 posts, read 5,494,586 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by L.K. View Post
still seeing them every other month seems like a lot to me! Some people only see family once a year.
I think they should support your goals. Young people need to try being on their own and making their dreams come true, not try to operate close to their family.IMO.
Agreed! I love my Mom and we have a very close relationship, we see each other maybe every 2-3 months and it is just perfect. Sometimes, it is good to have a certain distance between you and your family, in my opinion, it can make the relationship healthier.
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Old 10-16-2011, 06:22 AM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
24,671 posts, read 58,108,828 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dis99 View Post
Lots of career people in this thread. I tend to agree, but it's hard when I have a young niece that I want to see grow up, and an aging grandmother that won't be here forever. It's a hard choice.
In the grand scale it's not a hard choice. That young niece will grow up fast and before you know it isn't going to be much interested in a close relationship with you as there'll be so much going on in her growing-up world. I bet if you asked aging grandmother for her opinion she'd tell you to run along and live your life,

In today's world with all the communication portals available to you, moving geographically really means very little. Good luck.
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Old 10-16-2011, 06:48 AM
 
Location: Brisbane
3,506 posts, read 5,435,945 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dis99 View Post
So my family, of course, wants me to stay in their city and see them all the time. I could be happy in their city, but career wise I would definitely be better off elsewhere. The choices are A.) make the family happy and have an average career or B.) Only see the family every other month but work for an amazing company in a city that better suits me. It's a tough choice, but I am young.

What would you do? family or career?
Move! Your young, have some fun enjoy your new job and life, keep in contact with the family, and move back to a bigger and better job later if you wish.
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Old 10-16-2011, 07:13 AM
 
19,081 posts, read 21,830,534 times
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Keep skype in mind! My mom and I use skype quite often, and not even for direct communication. We both typically cook on Sundays. She'll put her computer on the dining room table in her home facing the kitchen, I'll put mine in my kitchen, and we'll go about our business for the afternoon. We'll chat. Sometimes my grandma will wonder in and sit at the kitchen table and hang out. They'll even have dinner with me there lol. It goes on for hours and is pretty cool!
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Old 10-16-2011, 08:49 AM
 
28,906 posts, read 46,582,918 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dis99 View Post
So my family, of course, wants me to stay in their city and see them all the time. I could be happy in their city, but career wise I would definitely be better off elsewhere. The choices are A.) make the family happy and have an average career or B.) Only see the family every other month but work for an amazing company in a city that better suits me. It's a tough choice, but I am young.

What would you do? family or career?
It's your family who insists on your making a choice, not you.

Right now, you have to establish yourself in your chosen field. What's more, you need to establish your own identity independent from being the child of your parents.

It's your life to live. And if your folks are pressuring you to stay in town, then moving away might actually make your relationship a good deal healthier.
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Old 10-16-2011, 08:54 AM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,020 posts, read 25,470,069 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dis99 View Post
So my family, of course, wants me to stay in their city and see them all the time. I could be happy in their city, but career wise I would definitely be better off elsewhere. The choices are A.) make the family happy and have an average career or B.) Only see the family every other month but work for an amazing company in a city that better suits me. It's a tough choice, but I am young.

What would you do? family or career?
Career.

Your career, success and salary define you.

Then you head back to the family once a year with a sort of aura on your head and they will let you sit at the head of the table. It earns respect.

Or...... you can stay in the same town, and read about other successful guys in the newspaper, always telling yourself, "Damn, I didn't even try to attempt to be them"
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Old 10-16-2011, 09:23 AM
 
Location: Houston, Texas
1,084 posts, read 1,372,839 times
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1. Your family is wrong and selfish for not letting you leave the nest to open your wings and fly.
2. You can always come home if you don't like the change.
3. I think it's wrong to call this a family vs career decision. You aren't just going to leave the nest for a career. You are going to start a completely new LIFE in your new city. The fact I think you are ignoring is that the city your family lives in can not provide THE LIFE that you want to live. Or can it? I think THAT is the question you need to ask yourself. If the career you want is elsewhere, but you think the life you'll be living there will be a chore, then I would probably suggest you stay. Actually, I would suggest you go for a year, to try it out, then return. Give yourself a deadline though or you'll get complacent and stay in the miserable life out of habit. That is, if the new life is miserable.
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Old 10-16-2011, 09:43 AM
 
1,747 posts, read 3,977,644 times
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Meh, hardly a tough choice....Now, this would be a hell of a better thread if it was HIS WIFE asking him to stay....man I have so much popcorn set aside for that...
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Old 10-16-2011, 09:51 AM
 
7,508 posts, read 3,711,237 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by softblueyz View Post
Family should encourage you to pursue your dream, even if it means you leaving "home" and seeing them once a month. I live outside the country (because of hubby's job) and see my daughter and grandson once a year!!! Granted we talk almost every day, but I would give anything to see them once a month.

Go for the career. If you don't you will have nothing but resentment towards them for holding you back. They will get over you living elsewhere and will come around, but would you get over your resentment?? They may try to make you feel guilty about leaving the family, being so far away, which would be very selfish of them.

If you have a great opportunity then take it. With this economy, how many people can say that kind of offer is before them?

Good luck to you.
Family is very important to me since I come from a family-oriented background, but I also agree with you that family should encourage you to pursue your dream as well. I'm glad that my mom encourages me to pursue my career because she knows that it will help the family out. I have always imagine myself living in a different city and would gladly want them to visit me (or vice versa). She only refuses to let me live in another city if I can't support myself, but if I can, then she wish me well! I'll say take the opportunity if that's where you strongly desire want to be.

Good luck to you!
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Old 10-16-2011, 10:04 AM
 
Location: Too far from home.
8,743 posts, read 5,761,195 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka View Post
Career.

Your career, success and salary define you.
Ouch!!! I find that to be a shallow statement, although there are many people who have a career, enjoy success, earn alot of money, depending on their career, are generally shallow people.
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