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I have three close friends and my wife and talk to my brother once every week or so. I also have some people at work I am friendly with and may go out to lunch with them on occasion and will chat in the break room, that is it.
A woman I know claims to have well over 100 close friends. And I mean CLOSE FRIENDS. She is constantly going out with friends for dinner, emailing and texting constantly and spends hours on Facebook where she has well over 1000 friends. She is meeting people all the time and everyone wants a piece of her. She is constantly on the phone with people and is always turning down social invitations because she is spread too thin. She just loves everyone she meets and they love her too.
Is this you? Do you know many people like this? Could you juggle more than ten close friends with family and work obligations?
How many people in your life could you pick up the phone and call and chat with for no reason at all without feeling uncomfortable?
I'll say between 5-10. Yes, these are my close friends, like sisters, that I could talk to any time about personal stuff. We support each other and we care about each other. We're not people who randomly met up and decided to claim each other as "close friends".
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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I know a guy who has hundredS--plural--of friends. He literally cannot go ANYWHERE without people stopping him or saying hello. I was in awe after the first few hours. He seems oblivious to it but people just love him. Yes, it's believable now that I've witnessed it first hand.
I don't think it's possible to have 100's of friends. I think it's possible to be friendly with 100's of people and have 100's, even 1000's of acquaintances. I've known several people like this personally. The few, in my eyes, genuine friendships they have often go by the wayside as they spread themselves so thin trying to make "everyone" happy the genuine people in their lives get tired of all the BS involved in maintaining a relationship with someone who's main concern is catering to the masses.
Last edited by Haley James; 10-22-2011 at 01:24 PM..
Reason: grammar
Out of those 100, probably 95 are acquaintances. My grandpa used to say to me, "A person is lucky if they have 10 friends".
Yes. Friend's are, To me, People that are like extended family. Those who were there for you during hard times, (And vice versa) and you have a long history with and can completely trust.
My friends currently are only a few, And 2 I played with in the sandbox as a kid and the others from Jr. High school. While it is good to meet new people to socialize with, That kind of trust and bond takes a long time.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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I'd seriously question how many of those friends are 'close.' Does she have a job, let alone a family? I suppose it's possible, but geez I don't even want to think about how she does that. I'd be totally exhausted...I hate having a full calendar (some thrive on it), whether that be work OR social engagements. To me anything more than two appointments in a week stresses me out, and if I see even my close friend more than 2-3 times a week I tire of him/her. I'm the type who spends most of my free time alone anyway, but I do need some time with friends.
For me I'm happy to have 3-4 quality close friends I see maybe once a week, or even once every few weeks. For many people that would be too little but I'm fine that way.
I don't think it's possible to have 100's of friends. I think it's possible to be friendly with 100's of people and have 100's, even 1000's of acquaintances. I've known several people like this personally. The few, in my eyes, genuine friendships they have often go by the wayside as they spread themselves so thin trying to make "everyone" happy the genuine people in their lives get tired of all the BS involved in maintaining a relationship with someone who's main concern is catering to the masses.
There are some really good answers in this thread. I find the same thing with one of my friends. He has thousands of friends. But when I talk to the other ones, they are all lukewarm on the guy for one reason or another. Those aren't friends.
I think the key lies in the fact that we all have different definitions of what constitutes a friend.
I'm friendly with my boss, but don't consider us friends. When I think of who I consider a true friend, I ask myself a few questions...would they be there/would I want them there for important life events? Invite them to my wedding? Call them and tell them if I were expecting a baby? Be comfortable having them go with me to chemotherapy if I were in cancer treatment? Would they come to a funeral for one of my parents? If the answer to at least three of those hypotheticals is yes, odds are, the person is a friend...and I would do the same things for them. We're not just friendly acquaintances, but actual, real friends.
I do know some people who consider everyone they have a positive interaction with to be a friend. I'm an outgoing person who gets along with most people who cross my path, but I do find there to be a difference between getting along with somebody and forming a true friendship.
I have maybe 3 really close friends. I'm not ever crazy about having a lot of not-close friends
I dont like to talk on the phone, not crazy about texting, i dont mind emailing, and it's not that i dont 'like' to make friends - i'm just more or less a loner i think. I like my own company lol.
My very best friend is someone i've known since around 7th grade (we're now 52), my next best friend is my sister, and the next person is someone i worked with for years.
When i was in my teens/20's i had more friends - as far as going out to party etc. with - but it was a couple of close groups.
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While it is good to meet new people to socialize with, That kind of trust and bond takes a long time.
