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Old 10-31-2011, 07:48 AM
 
356 posts, read 710,338 times
Reputation: 380

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It will never end. I deal with this everyday at my job. I work in a small corporate office with a bunch of other females who are jealous of the 10K/yr promotion i EARNED so now the snide comments never stop. I find my best way of dealing with them is to simply be polite & when the snide comments take place, always call them out on it. (Those type of I'm not saying this directly at you, but it's meant to try to put you down) In the end, they are the ones who look like fools.

Don't let it bother you, if you have to, go find another job but most likely no matter where you go there will always be at least one obnoxious fool that never grew up. Good luck to you
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Old 10-31-2011, 07:52 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 45,238,474 times
Reputation: 11862
Total ignorance often works. And finding ways to deflect it so it backfires and they look bad.
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Old 10-31-2011, 07:56 AM
 
Location: Lower east side of Toronto
10,588 posts, read 10,742,979 times
Reputation: 9292
Back in public school my older brother was a big over sized oalf...He would cry openly at the slightest abuse...I was the smaller younger bother...I would hide off on the side lines and watch in awe...Some times gangs of about 10 kids would chase him home and beat on him. Once out side our house I looked out and saw a group of kids piled on my brother and abusing him with out mercy..They were like a pack of white trash hick dogs..

Something snapped in me finally and I ran out the door to assist my brother..We both managed to repel the attack...and in the process beat up the main bully..the big guy with the cowardly followers...Later I started to protect anyone in the hood that was weak...I found out I had fast hands and a sneaky un-predicatable approach to street fighting...Finally all the bullying stopped...

Years later I asked my older brother what he thought about the bullies and why it happened. He is an educated and highly aware and intelligent man. He said to me ...They were like crazed monkeys...and they sensed that I was bright...and in an animalistic way they knew that I COULD BE THEIR UN-DOING...

In other words evil and stupidity dispise intelligence...My brother is an older man now - He did well - He`s wealthy has a family and is very comfortable - BUT - the long term effects of being bullied still linger...He did not do as well socially as he should have - He holds deep bitterness and contempt for mankind in general - In the long run the bullies won! This is the horrific effect of the bullying phenomena - It destroys people - It limits their developement..It keeps people from becoming all they can be...It takes a person with a loving heart and converts them from a positive human being to a negative one.
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Old 10-31-2011, 07:57 AM
 
1,328 posts, read 2,443,871 times
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OP, the reason you get bullied is because your co-workers don't view you as an equal, but rather someone lesser than them. In other words, they don't respect you at all. This could be because of the way you dress, the way you act, the way you look in generally (such as being overweight, having acne, etc), or all of the above. However, I suspect the primary reason you get picked on is because you don't come across as confident (you're probably a bit shy from all the bullying over the years) and people will usually pick up on that. Once they pick up on that, they'll run all over you and make fun of you whenever possible (usually to make themselves feel superior).

That said, if you want the bullying to end, you'll have to improve your overall attitude and confidence. Once people realize that you're truly confident about yourself and couldn't care less about what they think or have to say, you'll notice a major decrease in the bullying.
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Old 10-31-2011, 08:00 AM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,506 posts, read 17,757,872 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bicoastal10 View Post
OP, the reason you get bullied is because your co-workers don't view you as an equal, but rather someone lesser than them. In other words, they don't respect you at all. This could be because of the way you dress, the way you act, the way you look in generally, or all of the above. However, I suspect the primary reason you get picked on is because you don't come across as confident (you're probably a bit shy from all the bullying over the years) and people will usually pick up on that. Once they pick up on that, they'll run all over you and make fun of you whenever possible (usually to make themselves feel superior).

That said, if you want the bullying to end, you'll have to improve yourself your overall attitude and confidence. Once people realize that you're truly confident about yourself and couldn't care less about what they think or have to say, you'll notice a major decrease in the bullying.
Read my lips! B! S! Bullying says nothing about the one being bullied and everything about the bully. LOL It's nothing but ignorance, plain and simple.
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Old 10-31-2011, 08:07 AM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 15,380,717 times
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Dan Olweus, creator of the Olweus Bullying Prevention Program, provides us with this commonly accepted definition for bullying in his book, Bullying at School: What We Know and What We Can Do:

"A person is bullied when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons, and he or she has difficulty defending himself or herself."

This definition includes three important components:

Quote:
1. Bullying is aggressive behavior that involves unwanted, negative actions.
2. Bullying involves a pattern of behavior repeated over time.
3. Bullying involves an imbalance of power or strength.

Types of Bullying

Bullying can take on many forms. As part of the Olweus Bullying Questionnaire, students are asked if they have been bullied in any of these nine ways:

1. Verbal bullying including derogatory comments and bad names
2. Bullying through social exclusion or isolation

3. Physical bullying such as hitting, kicking, shoving, and spitting
4. Bullying through lies and false rumors
5. Having money or other things taken or damaged by students who bully
6. Being threatened or being forced to do things by students who bully
7. Racial bullying
8. Sexual bullying
9. Cyber bullying (via cell phone or Internet) Learn more
This is from the website of Bullying Prevention Program. The bolded above is very much like the situation with OP. Feeling isolated, being a victim of little "prickly" comments that make OP feel inferior is a form of bullying.

I have a young child and bullying problem is very important to me right now, so I'm very well aware of what it means.
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Old 10-31-2011, 08:08 AM
 
1,328 posts, read 2,443,871 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Whyte Byrd View Post
Read my lips! B! S! Bullying says nothing about the one being bullied and everything about the bully. LOL It's nothing but ignorance, plain and simple.
You're not being realistic. Do you think the star of the high school football team gets bullied? How about the homecoming queen or the good looking rich kid that gets all the girls? Of course not! It's because they are deemed to have a high social value and people who have a high social value are looked up to, not down to. Also, all of the people I just named have one thing in common: they all exude confidence. People who get bullied are looked down at because they are viewed as lesser than and vulnerable; usually because they come across and shy, insecure, and unconfident.

Once the OP gets some confidence, becomes sure of himself, and lets other know that he's sure of himself, the bullying will decrease. People pick on others when they think they can get away with it.
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Old 10-31-2011, 08:37 AM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
24,671 posts, read 58,200,131 times
Reputation: 26518
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
"A person is bullied when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons, and he or she has difficulty defending himself or herself."
"1. Verbal bullying including derogatory comments and bad names
2. Bullying through social exclusion or isolation"
Given the points you're stressing, re-read the OP's complaint. It sounds more like silly teasing than literal bullying.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mtlquebec102 View Post
Now they freakin pick on me (not all the time though) saying dumb stuff like "hey *****, that girl likes you, u interested?, how long u been single?? blah blah blah"
I'm almost surprised that nobody's yet popped in to suggest that the OP sue for emotional distress. Oops, best not to speak too soon.
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Old 10-31-2011, 08:59 AM
 
2,618 posts, read 5,452,812 times
Reputation: 2104
This is where you grow a pair and face them after work and put them on ths spot.

Wait for one of them to get off their shift in the parking lot or just outside the doors. Walk up to them, look them straight in the eye and say "hey, I'm starting to think we have problem between us and I'd like to resolve it."

If they're alone, 99% of the time they'll back down with their tail between their legs. They'll be too ashamed and too weak to continue their bullying because in fact they are cowards. Just keep asking if there's a problem, and that if there is you'd like to do something about it. Don't flat out tell them you'll kick the crap out of them if it continues, but you do so by hinting toward "resolving an issue" if you have to.

People in this country are weak. We're taught from day 1 in school not to stand up for ourselves and that resorting to a little physicality or scuffle is wrong, but in the end it keeps people to their limitations. You tread on me you will pay a harsh price, but I'll give you every opportunity to back off by letting you know exactly what will happen if you push me into a corner. I say turn it around on them, bully THEM, if you show some balls and project a no fear mentality, you'll find very soon how afraid people are (no matter what size they are) of getting into a fight as 99% of this country has never been in one.

I'm sure I'll get heat for saying this by all the hippies and utopians out there saying "we don't need violence!" But you gotta ask yourself: do you want this to continue? Are you happy letting people treat you this way? If not, do something about it.
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Old 10-31-2011, 09:05 AM
 
16,801 posts, read 14,475,447 times
Reputation: 37866
Quote:
Originally Posted by cdubs3201 View Post
This is where you grow a pair and face them after work and put them on ths spot.

Wait for one of them to get off their shift in the parking lot or just outside the doors. Walk up to them, look them straight in the eye and say "hey, I'm starting to think we have problem between us and I'd like to resolve it."
I kind of like this approach and I am a non-violent hippy-type! I think confrontation does not have to equal aggression. It is a way of keeping people honest.

But this approach will only work for the OP if he can summon the confidence (or acting skills) to pull off the impression that he sees himself as an equal or better of his peer group.
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