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Old 11-18-2011, 08:02 PM
 
Location: tampa bay
6,587 posts, read 6,823,652 times
Reputation: 9856

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Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious View Post
Can you have adult conversations with your son of 24? Can you hang out, go for coffee, sit and talk?
Yes we do but it usually is at a time and place he picks...but if I can make one suggetion it would be to find out what he is interested in and try to talk about those topics. For example...my son is in his last year of law school so we watch current trials (Casey Anthony,Conrad Murary) and talk about them...or he is a big Florida football fan (I hate football) but I read everything I can about it so I can talk somewhat on the topic!!But I have come to the realization that while he loves me ...he could care less about what is going on in my life...unless it effects his life!
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Old 11-18-2011, 08:02 PM
 
Location: earth?
7,288 posts, read 10,855,099 times
Reputation: 8956
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Boys who pull away like this are sending a clear message that they are feeling smothered.

And yes, when a young man is feeling overly mothered he will get testy.

THIS IS NORMAL BEHAVIOR.

It is how he establishes his autonomy.

If you are grieving, that's your issue, not his "fault".

Not trying to upset or insult you, but a grown up woman usually gets this.
How do you know how young men feel?

How do you know what is "normal behavior?"

I know it is my issue . . . not blaming him, but it does hurt. I am trying to understand.

How do you know what grown women "usually get?"

I am serious about the questions . . .I really want to know HOW you know . . .
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Old 11-18-2011, 08:02 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,269 posts, read 88,534,779 times
Reputation: 39865
Quote:
Originally Posted by tegota View Post
It seems there are many here. They're like the city-data borg.
Please enlighten me, I don't know what an intj is?
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Old 11-18-2011, 08:06 PM
 
Location: earth?
7,288 posts, read 10,855,099 times
Reputation: 8956
Quote:
Originally Posted by Irishiis49 View Post
Yes we do but it usually is at a time and place he picks...but if I can make one suggetion it would be to find out what he is interested in and try to talk about those topics. For example...my son is in his last year of law school so we watch current trials (Casey Anthony,Conrad Murary) and talk about them...or he is a big Florida football fan (I hate football) but I read everything I can about it so I can talk somewhat on the topic!!But I have come to the realization that while he loves me ...he could care less about what is going on in my life...unless it effects his life!
This is so interesting. So when I saw him today, I wanted to fiddle with stuff in his room (definitely an issue . . .but I have lots of design talent and he is totally unorganized . . . I know this is a boundary thing) . . .but anyway, he wanted me to watch him "lift," and that is the last thing in the world I am interested in . . .

I guess we won't be talking for awhile because he is interested in "lifting," and he also likes me to watch videos online of horrible music I can't stomach . . .but I do it to humor him . . . I guess we have nothing in common!
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Old 11-18-2011, 08:07 PM
 
479 posts, read 731,027 times
Reputation: 444
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Please enlighten me, I don't know what an intj is?
Here's the gist.

The REAL Personality Types Made Relevant

INTJs are solid, competent personalities who may seem aloof and even arrogant, but who are typically highly skilled in any field which interests them. INTJs are confident in their skills and knowledge, self-assured, and imaginitive; their exceptional problem-solving skills make them ideal architects, auto mechanics, and tools of the evil empire. While it requires the driving will to conquer of an ENTJ to imagine the Death Star and the evil genius of an ENTP to invent its devastating weapons systems, the skill and technical prowess of the INTJ is what makes the whole thing work.The INTJ sees life as a problem to be solved. For that reason, the INTJ is the person a company brings in from the outside to streamline production processes and identify redundant assets for termination. The INTJ's combination of analyticial problem-solving skills and complete and utter disregard for the morality or consequences of his actions also make him ideal for the job of hatchet man, CIA operative, and helpdesk operator.

RECREATION: INTJs are often baffled by the strange and incomprehensible recreational rituals of other people, such as going to parties, watching television, and having sex. Instead, they prefer to spend their leisure time installing twin missile launchers in their cars to deter tailgaters and playing chess with megalomaniac CEOs of the Tyrell corporation.
COMPATIBILITY: Silly person, INTJs don't have relationships! They may, however build their own friends.
Famous INTJs include J. F. Sebastian and Sgt. Apone

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Old 11-18-2011, 08:07 PM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
16,085 posts, read 23,891,390 times
Reputation: 17987
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Please enlighten me, I don't know what an intj is?
INTJ Profile
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Old 11-18-2011, 08:08 PM
 
Location: earth?
7,288 posts, read 10,855,099 times
Reputation: 8956
Quote:
Originally Posted by tegota View Post
It seems there are many here. They're like the city-data borg.
I don't think INTJ's and borgs are synonymous.
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Old 11-18-2011, 08:10 PM
 
Location: tampa bay
6,587 posts, read 6,823,652 times
Reputation: 9856
Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious View Post
This is so interesting. So when I saw him today, I wanted to fiddle with stuff in his room (definitely an issue . . .but I have lots of design talent and he is totally unorganized . . . I know this is a boundary thing) . . .but anyway, he wanted me to watch him "lift," and that is the last thing in the world I am interested in . . .

I guess we won't be talking for awhile because he is interested in "lifting," and he also likes me to watch videos online of horrible music I can't stomach . . .but I do it to humor him . . . I guess we have nothing in common!
Forget about having things in common(at least for now)!It's all about them 24/7!!
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Old 11-18-2011, 08:10 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,269 posts, read 88,534,779 times
Reputation: 39865
Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious View Post
How do you know how young men feel?

How do you know what is "normal behavior?"

I know it is my issue . . . not blaming him, but it does hurt. I am trying to understand.

How do you know what grown women "usually get?"

I am serious about the questions . . .I really want to know HOW you know . . .
Okay, how do I know...

Well, I've raised my boys (quite successfully I might add) to be great young men.

In addition, I have other credentials for understandings teens.

I am sorry you are hurting, but if you could learn to look at his behavior as normal for his age that would lessen your pain
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Old 11-18-2011, 08:10 PM
 
479 posts, read 731,027 times
Reputation: 444
Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious View Post
I don't think INTJ's and borgs are synonymous.
True, but it surely does seem there is occassionally a "collective" here.
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