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I just envy my friends who have that type of relationship with their parents,siblings, or family members. I do love them and know my mom and loves me and all her children. Is this a normal thing?
Don't waste your time envying your friends over something so trivial. As you can see from the responses so far, everybody is different. Knowing you're loved is so much more important than having to be told you're loved!
if anyone in my family ever said it, I don't remember. Very stoic Germans. Took a couple of beers to loosen them up. Doesn't matter. I know my mom loved me, since she was always happy to hear from me or see me after I left home. She used to be pretty negative growing up but mellowed out as she got older. If my dad would have said it, it wouldn't have mattered. I don't think he really cared for me much.
My family rarely says I love you to each other. I wish we did but I can't bring myself say it all the time. I can literally count how many times my mom has said I love you. My dad says it all the time and always has. He and my mom are still married but not together. When we talk on the phone most of the time he will say it at the end and hang up. Like, " Alright talk to you later love you." Sometimes I can tell he still on the line and say it too but sometimes I don't say it back. I ask my mom why doesnt she tell us(my siblings) she loves us?She said, "I dont know my mom never said it to me and then when I met your father he always told me he loved me." It's just hard to say and I dont know why. I just envy my friends who have that type of relationship with their parents,siblings, or family members. I do love them and know my mom and loves me and all her children. Is this a normal thing?
Maybe all of you are like YOU. Wanting to say it but to sissified to actually say it.
Seriously like what will they think if you tell them that...
My sister and I used to talk about this all the time. We knew our parents loved us but my mom was Canadian and was so formal in her ways. (Mr. this and Mrs. that, etc).
My dad was American and he hugged us and would say it more than my mom. However, my mom always gave us beautiful cards and she would write it.
So, one Christmas, my sister and I decided to go around the room and hug everyone and tell them we loved them! Well, it broke the ice - I think after that - we do it more!
However, years later and then I had my children, my son, age 8, run up to my mom (he was so cute) and she said "Oh, M____, you're too big for hugs now" and it made me SO sad. And I still remember my son feeling bewildered so I went over and gave him a big hug.
Isn't it funny how those words affect us - even as adults?
(PS - One of other sisters is very much like my mom).
Before I moved out of state and hugged my mom and told her I love her(she said it back) and she had tears in her eyes I don't think it is was because I said I love you but because I was leaving. And I told my sister I love her over the phone before I left and she was like "aww you love me i love you too". One of my brothers says it to me when I see him and tries to hug me. I just stand there and forced to say a smothered I love you. I know this sounds horrible but I'm not to fond of my brother... for other reasons.
My family is like that. My mom will occasionally end an email with "love you" but that's about it. Of course, we all know we love each other, but we just almost never say it. My mom has said it a handful of times that I can remember, but I've never heard my dad say it, either to me, my brother, or my mom. We're just not verbal with our feelings. In fact, I think the only time I've ever told anyone I loved them was my grandmother, shortly before she died. I knew it might be the last time I saw her so I just came out and said it. And it turns out, it was the last time I ever saw her alive. But that's the only instance I can think of in my entire life when I've said those words.
I never really thought about it, but I can't really remember any of my parents saying "I love you" (though there must have been a few times), and definitely not much hugs and stuff like that.
I was the same way through my 20s, but eventually I turned out the opposite, I tell friends, SO, and family "I love you" all the time, and hug everyone.
I don't think there is anything wrong with being less demonstrative, and if you want to be different, you can change it. It may be difficult and uncomfortable at first.
You don't have to say it to know they love you. My family doesn't say it much but my dad always traps us in bear hugs and my mom will drop whatever she's doing and drive 6 hours to take care of us when we're sick.
You don't have to say it to know they love you. My family doesn't say it much but my dad always traps us in bear hugs and my mom will drop whatever she's doing and drive 6 hours to take care of us when we're sick.
Actions mean so much more than words.
They can...but not necessarily always though
As I think I may have mentioned in an earlier post from a while back, like Molly said in the movie Ghost, "Sometimes, you just gotta hear it". (i.e., "ILY", in the case of this post, both for non-romantic family members and romantic loved ones)
"ILY" are the three 3 best (IMO) and among the most powerful words of all, in the English language.
Last edited by Phoenix2017; 11-22-2011 at 01:16 PM..
Reason: Corrected semantics
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So why not use it, and say it more often, when you feel it? 
One year....
