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Old 12-05-2011, 08:40 PM
 
Location: Bellingham, WA
9,745 posts, read 14,191,779 times
Reputation: 14796

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Quote:
Originally Posted by itshim View Post
No, I'm "afraid" that he would have hidden feelings where he could eventually conjure up enough courage to make a move (just as any straight guy would). Nor am I comfortable with the possibility of him building up any type of attraction over time. Again, we're dealing with men here--not women. Their approach to getting with women is just the same as any heterosexual males is with a woman, only they are thinking about men. I personally do not like the idea of possibly being apart of the equation under any circumstance.

And my point was in reference to women not being comofortable with sharing space with "strange men" for obvious reasons. They would not just be "flattered" at the idea, most women would still be uncomfortable with the idea of sharing personal space with a guy regardless. I would feel the same about sharing space with a gay guy.

No offense, but I think it's a little strange that you put a woman who you are not attracted to on the same tandem as you not being attracted to a male. I personally don't find it to be two sides of the same coin. It's sort of like saying that you would be comfortable with getting a drink at a gay bar, even though you aren't gay. And that if you just want a drink, then there's really no difference. lol
You seem to be convinced that most gay men, if they found themselves attracted to you, wouldn't be able to resist the urge to make a move. And I'm sure for some that would be true, but I just don't think it's that likely in general. If a straight man finds himself attracted to a lesbian, does he make a move anyway, knowing it's pointless? Actually, I've mentioned it before in this forum (maybe this thread, can't remember), but that exact thing happened to me. I met a girl I found extremely attractive. She was cute, incredibly sweet and kind, and just all-around great. I was going to ask her out, but my gay friend happened to know that she was a lesbian. Instead of not being able to control myself, I said, "Eh, just my luck" and moved on. If most males, straight or gay didn't respond that way, I'd worry about the state of their mental health. And I think most sane people, gay or straight, would simply forget about it, not become obsessed with it and try to hit on the person.

And yes, to me a gay man is no different, attraction wise, from a woman I find incredibly unattractive. If I have zero attraction to men, and zero attraction to some women, how is that different? The feeling (or lack thereof) is the same to me. How could I be less than not attracted to men? I guess I could...I don't know, actively hate them?

 
Old 12-05-2011, 08:47 PM
 
26,004 posts, read 33,018,112 times
Reputation: 32230
Quote:
Originally Posted by itshim View Post
No, I'm "afraid" that he would have hidden feelings where he could eventually conjure up enough courage to make a move (just as any straight guy would). Nor am I comfortable with the possibility of him building up any type of attraction over time. Again, we're dealing with men here--not women. Their approach to getting with women is just the same as any heterosexual males is with a woman, only they are thinking about men. I personally do not like the idea of possibly being apart of the equation under any circumstance.

And my point was in reference to women not being comofortable with sharing space with "strange men" for obvious reasons. They would not just be "flattered" at the idea, most women would still be uncomfortable with the idea of sharing personal space with a guy regardless. I would feel the same about sharing space with a gay guy.

No offense, but I think it's a little strange that you put a woman who you are not attracted to on the same tandem as you not being attracted to a male. I personally don't find it to be two sides of the same coin. It's sort of like saying that you would be comfortable with getting a drink at a gay bar, even though you aren't gay. And that if you just want a drink, then there's really no difference. lol

Exactly.

Quote:
Originally Posted by itshim View Post
As for simple communication with gay males, which is what you are refering to in your second paragraph--I have no problem with it. In fact, in NYC is almost near impossible not to come across a variety of personalities of people both gay and straight that you'll get along with. I've had bosses and supervisros who were gay and we got along just fine. But sharing personal space with them is something altogether different.
Nail on head.
 
Old 12-05-2011, 08:57 PM
 
Location: Austin, TX
399 posts, read 842,872 times
Reputation: 409
Trust me, I would never develop feelings for someone as nasty and homophobic as some of the jerkish heteros on this thread.

Have no fear, guys....there's no way in hell I'd be in the same room with any of you if I could possibly help it. Same goes for some of you women.
 
Old 12-05-2011, 09:15 PM
 
15,723 posts, read 9,648,323 times
Reputation: 6988
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1mintjulep View Post
Trust me, I would never develop feelings for someone as nasty and homophobic as some of the jerkish heteros on this thread.

Have no fear, guys....there's no way in hell I'd be in the same room with any of you if I could possibly help it. Same goes for some of you women.
I think it's interesting how so many straights, especially the homophobic ones, think they are so good looking that a gay guy would actually want them. Just seems rather self-absorbed to assume your gay roommate will automatically want to get into bed with you.

And yet, in this country anyway, your average straight guy is probably not up to your typical gay guys standards.

Aside from that, most gay guys have done the "falling for a straight friend" thing, and learned the hard way it's futile so they don't even put themselves in that situation.
 
Old 12-05-2011, 09:23 PM
 
15,723 posts, read 9,648,323 times
Reputation: 6988
While we're on this subject, if you were meeting prospective roommates (say in a big city like NY or LA), would you ask them if they are gay, or would you expect them to ask you if you're gay friendly?

I sometimes see ads on craigslist with people looking for someone to take over a sublet or rent a room, and they will say they are "Gay-friendly".
 
Old 12-05-2011, 09:25 PM
 
Location: tampa bay
6,587 posts, read 6,828,247 times
Reputation: 9856
Makes a gay person sound like a pet!
 
Old 12-05-2011, 10:07 PM
 
Location: 20 years from now
5,520 posts, read 5,719,425 times
Reputation: 3448
Lamplight

Quote:
You seem to be convinced that most gay men, if they found themselves attracted to you, wouldn't be able to resist the urge to make a move. And I'm sure for some that would be true, but I just don't think it's that likely in general.
Possibly, but ask yourself this, do straight men go after women who neither want or are attracted to them? All the time right? If so, why would a guy who simply prefers males be any different? I would expect a gay guy who's attracted to me to be as aggressive as a straight guy would be towards a woman.

Quote:
If a straight man finds himself attracted to a lesbian, does he make a move anyway, knowing it's pointless?
Yes! lol Guys go after women they have no chance with all the time.

Quote:
Actually, I've mentioned it before in this forum (maybe this thread, can't remember), but that exact thing happened to me. I met a girl I found extremely attractive. She was cute, incredibly sweet and kind, and just all-around great. I was going to ask her out, but my gay friend happened to know that she was a lesbian. Instead of not being able to control myself, I said, "Eh, just my luck" and moved on. If most males, straight or gay didn't respond that way, I'd worry about the state of their mental health.
I don't know about it being about someone's mental health, but again-- I think men go after women they haven't got a shot with all the time. THey may not be as persistent in every case, but they certainly take a shot in a lot of instances. And many if not most men size up and feel out the opportunity before they decide to go after it.


Quote:
And yes, to me a gay man is no different, attraction wise, from a woman I find incredibly unattractive. If I have zero attraction to men, and zero attraction to some women, how is that different? The feeling (or lack thereof) is the same to me. How could I be less than not attracted to men? I guess I could...I don't know, actively hate them?[/
Because I don't think it's a simple as it being a lack of "attraction" but moreso the reason behind it. You may have zero attraction to a certain type of woman for a very specific reason whereas you have zero attraction for men simply because they are men. There is something that could be different about the woman to make her more attractive to you whereas there is nothing that a man could do to make you attracted to him. I don't see it as the same thing.


And here's a quick question--would you be ok with having a best male friend who was gay?

Last edited by itshim; 12-05-2011 at 10:33 PM..
 
Old 12-05-2011, 10:45 PM
 
3 posts, read 4,993 times
Reputation: 15
I haven't read through the rest of the thread, but I would not care about a potential roommate's sexual orientation, but more along the lines of whether we could both live amicably (personality wise). But on a more serious note, I think I'm the type of tenant that prefers to live alone. However, the homophobia on this thread is appalling. Seriously, people, get a grip.
 
Old 12-05-2011, 10:50 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,188 posts, read 21,015,988 times
Reputation: 22134
I think it's interesting how many people seem to classify gay people as being a whole other type of being - like they aren't human beings but some sort of different creature.

Gay people are just people. Straight people are just people. Yes, there might be a gay roommate that hits on his straight male roommate. However, it's not like this is the norm. It's not like all gay men want whatever straight man wanders into their path. And most PEOPLE, regardless of their orientation, are not going to hit on their roommate unless it is very clear that there is a mutual attraction because you LIVE with this person. You pay half the rent, half the bills, you see them all the time. Most PEOPLE don't want to create an awkward living situation.

I have many gay friends of both genders. There have been a few times where one of them was attracted to someone who was straight - and there might have been some minor flirtation going on - only if the straight person was comfortable with it and encouraged it - but there was never anything more than that. And out of my many gay friends - I can only recall 2 instances of this. And in both cases, the straight person was totally okay with it and it was all harmless. I have never had one of my gay friends fall in love or continually hit on someone who was straight. It really isn't that common at all, in my experience.

I would think that most people would want a roommate who is responsible, respectful, and easy to get along with. Sexual orientation, race, religion - all those things shouldn't really matter if they have the traits that I just mentioned.
 
Old 12-06-2011, 06:27 AM
 
26,004 posts, read 33,018,112 times
Reputation: 32230
Quote:
Originally Posted by desichiq View Post
I haven't read through the rest of the thread, but I would not care about a potential roommate's sexual orientation, but more along the lines of whether we could both live amicably (personality wise). But on a more serious note, I think I'm the type of tenant that prefers to live alone. However, the homophobia on this thread is appalling. Seriously, people, get a grip.
So, anyone that does not find gay sexuality to be appealing, is a "homophobe", huh? Right. Grip yourself.
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