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A relative of mine (Mark) died recently of a drug overdose. It was likely suicide. I really hated the man. I saw him often at extended family events and always tried to be polite and friendly to him and often I was stuck sitting next to him during Christmas or Thanksgiving Dinner. He always treated me incredibly rudely when I tried to make pleasant small talk.
So when I got the phone call that he was dead I shed few tears. But when the invitation for his funeral came I could not wait to attend. I am not going to mourn him but will be fascinated what the relatives say about him and if anyone says anything nice about poor old Mark He treated the rest of the relatives like trash too but they tried to defer to him and be polite because he was married to a very popular cousin. Mark had a very strong confident personality and was very successful in his career, all traits that made many people give him the matter of the doubt and many people deferred to him because "he seemed like someone."
So would you want to go to the funeral of someone like this just to see how it goes and what people say? Would you go to a funeral of someone you hated but had a grudging respect or fear of? Maybe an old boss who was a very successful SOB. Because Mark is a distant relative there is no expectation of me going to his funeral.
What do you think? (The funeral is tomorrow and I may attend)
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If it weren't for the risk of traumatizing the evildoers family (who for all I know may be very nice and innocent in the matter), I'd go there and speak my mind.
"I'm glad the ****er is dead. Kudos to him for removing himself from our lives to make it better. I only regret that he hadn't done it sooner. So I raise a toast to his demise, also because I'm eager to fill my bladder with booze so that I may **** on his grave."
But because I have a heart, I wouldn't put his family through that comment unless they deserved it. So I wouldn't go, it's a more polite way to signify that you didn't like the bastard.
Whatever you thought of the guy, he's dead, and he has loved ones who are genuinely grieving his loss. He's gone, and it's not at all kind to them for you to be at his funeral as a joke.
I know I wouldn't go out of curiosity but I might go if I were close to the family to support them.
This would be the only reason I might go to the funeral of such a person. However, if the guy did something truly awful to me, then I would not attend under any circumstances.
He was incredibly mean to my cousin and they had broke up a number of times but always got together again after he promised he would be better next time. Then he would go back to his old tricks within a few weeks. My cousin stuck with him because of the power and money and contacts he brought the family. They lived like kings in great material wealth.
But she does not seem to be mouring much. The relatives will there out of curiously and to see if any of his many business connections and large circle of friends attend. So, no, being there will not be for any moral support- just morbid curiosity. Maybe we can all huddle in a corner and whisper "he was an XXhole stories." Sounds like fun?
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