I run from discussing the "big 3" (religion, politics, and money) since having a difference of an opinion from a friend could end a friendship.
I saw a friend of mine tonight who brought up how a year ago that she was about to end her friendship with me after I shared my opinion while she had me and a few of her friends over for dessert and conversation.
I AVOID those topics and NEVER, EVER bring them up for discussion however, if someone chooses to bring it up I typically will share my opinion as well (from time to time). I have never though had my feelings toward a friend change due to a difference of opinion, and I am not looking to change anyone's opinion at all because opinions are never an I'm right therefore you are wrong thing.
My friend brought up illegal immigration (I have no idea how it got brought up) sharing her opinion and how she has no problems with people entering the U.S. illegally (she has some family members here illegally). After she shared her opinion her friends were quiet and she was looking for someone to say something since she apparently was passionate about the subject.
I should have taken her friends' cue but I choose to share my opinion since I got to hear hers. She was angry at me for having a difference of opinion and would interrupt me, rebutting things that I said (which were facts and not merely opinions).
The room got even more quiet and one of her friends was nice enough to change the conversation.
Have any of you friendships end due to a difference of opinion?
Is it impolite and inappropriate to share your opinion on an issue like this when you are at the person's house even if they brought it up?
Tonight when I saw her she brought it up and stated that one of the girls that was there said I was inappropriate and should not have said anything (unless I agreed) since I was a guest in her house. Looking back on this, I shouldn't have mentioned anything period because I didn't know that she would get all bent out of shape since she had no problems sharing her views.
Tonight she also stated something that another friend of hers said to her about me (I have NEVER met this friend) in regards to something silly that I did. She said to my friend that she should dump me, that I'm a (the word that rhymes with witch), and that she should end the friendship due to something I did which my friend laughed about and really did appear fine with. I told my friend to give her friend a big F U for me and she got super mad at me.
She said that I am wrong for disliking her friend without even meeting her. I was telling her that why would I want to meet a friend of hers who has already said this kind of crap about me when she has only heard one side of the story
She stated that I am immature to never want to meet her friend. She also shared that she was thinking of visiting me in Hawaii when she gets a week off of work and bringing her friend. I then said that while my friend is welcome in my house, her friend is not. I'm not giving room and board to someone like that. When my friend mentioned coming over to visit me a week prior, it really seemed that it was more for a free place to stay since I would only be home at nights since I cannot get the same time off of work as her.
I don't agree that a friend of my friend has to mean that their friend is mine. My friend (Vicky) just seemed to rehash the past a lot tonight when I won't be back in town for over 2 months. She was trying to hurt my feelings by saying that I need to change because I have mainly bad characteristics such as being immature and irrational about things and being too stubborn.
I only say trying because while I was annoyed that she seemed to be attacking me a bit, but my feelings really weren't hurt because I don't see myself as being immature or irrational (stubborn yes). I believe life is to short to spend it around people who already have their minds made up about you, so if I don't even know you and you already are saying things like that without hearing my side of the story, yeah I won't invite you to be a guest in my house for a week while I am at work during the day giving you a free bedroom for the week.
Am I being too harsh to not want this girl in my house or to ever meet her? I do regret the F U comment.
Vicki said she was angry at me for not talking to her on Sunday when she called me. She called once and didn't leave me a message. I ALWAYS return calls, but I didn't think that there still was an etiquette that you had to return someone's call even if they do not leave a message. In the days before Caller ID, if someone did not leave a message or left a message saying they just wanted to say hi and that you don't need to call them back , not returning a call seemed to be okay since you couldn't see their number or if they said you don't need to. I just took it that if you do not leave a voicemail, you probably didn't have something that was urgent and that if you need to speak with me you will call again and leave a message.
I have maybe 3 really close friends and she is one of them. I have known her for 5 years and just felt she was saying to me that she regrets having a friend like me. A few months prior she confronted me about how I never initiate get togethers, call her just out of the blue, and seem to be happy with just seeing her once in awhile. Vicki stated that she was going through her friends trying to figure out who is really a friend and who isn't and that she drew a blank on me since she said she really likes me but that I don't seem invested in her friendship. Since she confronted me, I have made an effort (and she agreed) to be the one to arrange get togethers and contact her more frequently. I'm now thinking maybe I shouldn't have bothered