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Throughout life I have been friendly with people (not friends) who I used to chat with, smile, greet each other warmly, exchange tidbits, and generally enjoy our brief interactions. These were friendly acquaintances.
These people could be neighbors, coworkers, people at church, folks in professional associations, hobby groups, etc.
On occasion everything is going great with these people and then puff, they turn cold as ice. They go from being a friendly acquittance to just plain cold and nasty for no reason that I know of. If I said something wrong or made a mistake around them I don't know what it was.
How do you interact with them in the future? Should I ask them what is wrong? Should I turn mean and nasty myself to show them I can play that game too? Should I kill them with kindness to try to turn them around? What should I do?
If someone goes cold and nasty, you probably ran afoul of them. I would think of all the things that might have spoiled the relationship. You could also ask them directly (but tactfully) if everything is OK.
The reason I have often ignored people I knew was because I was sure they wouldn't remember me. These are casual acquaintances and sometimes they have no clue who I am even though we met only a few months ago. It is embarrassing to go up and talk to someone when they have no idea who you are. It is safer to play coy until I am sure that they recognize me.
Cold and nasty? Really? That's a little extreme. It'd be different if they were just sort of apathetic but cold and nasty to me means something went wrong. I would ask them if everything's okay.
Cold and nasty? Really? That's a little extreme. It'd be different if they were just sort of apathetic but cold and nasty to me means something went wrong. I would ask them if everything's okay.
Yes, cold and nasty might be a strong term. How about they just turned cold?
I have asked them what is up and they generally will not answer. Either they say "nothings wrong" while they look at me biting their lip and with a look that says intensely, "this is very awkward, I wish he would walk away!" Or they will just go mute until I walk away. Or they walk away without responding.
They might not remember who you are, and if you ask them what's wrong they can't give you an asnwer, just let it go. You can kill them with kindness as well. i alwasy smile at people regardless of how they respond.
Throughout life I have been friendly with people (not friends) who I used to chat with, smile, greet each other warmly, exchange tidbits, and generally enjoy our brief interactions. These were friendly acquaintances.
These people could be neighbors, coworkers, people at church, folks in professional associations, hobby groups, etc.
On occasion everything is going great with these people and then puff, they turn cold as ice. They go from being a friendly acquittance to just plain cold and nasty for no reason that I know of. If I said something wrong or made a mistake around them I don't know what it was.
How do you interact with them in the future? Should I ask them what is wrong? Should I turn mean and nasty myself to show them I can play that game too? Should I kill them with kindness to try to turn them around? What should I do?
The least I would do is say hello and ask how they are doing. I generally don't ask people what is wrong.
Yes, cold and nasty might be a strong term. How about they just turned cold?
I have asked them what is up and they generally will not answer. Either they say "nothings wrong" while they look at me biting their lip and with a look that says intensely, "this is very awkward, I wish he would walk away!" Or they will just go mute until I walk away. Or they walk away without responding.
If this is indeed a regular occurrence in your life then I guess you have a real problem. It's certainly not "normal" so I'm not sure that you'll get much satisfaction from responses when it's not likely that many others suffer similarly. Maybe you have extraordinarily bad body odor.
I'm assuming that since you have so much time to create so many new threads you don't have a SO you might ask, but how about other family members or friends? I would ask those closer to you for their candid opinion rather than a bunch of random forum posters.
If this is indeed a regular occurrence in your life then I guess you have a real problem. It's certainly not "normal" so I'm not sure that you'll get much satisfaction from responses when it's not likely that many others suffer similarly. Maybe you have extraordinarily bad body odor.
I'm assuming that since you have so much time to create so many new threads you don't have a SO you might ask, but how about other family members or friends? I would ask those closer to you for their candid opinion rather than a bunch of random forum posters.
I agree with STT Resident. Ask people who are close to you.
I wouldn't ask those who are cold to you because many times those people have an attitude that you should know better without anyone having to tell you.
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How do you deal with previously friendly people who turned cold as ice?
