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Old 01-21-2012, 09:01 PM
 
Location: tampa bay
4,372 posts, read 2,404,811 times
Reputation: 5467
The only "good" news is that this guy is a uniformed police officer...if there are any more visits I would tell him that both you and BF are uncomfortable with his gift...and if he continues to pop over uninvited you may have to take it up with his CO!
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Old 01-21-2012, 09:05 PM
 
1,595 posts, read 1,006,032 times
Reputation: 815
Kiwifruit2 have you ever actually met his wife? I am wondering if she really exists. If she does maybe she didn't want him to give you the money and fears you will think they are a little crazy or just not understand their ways.

At first I though he just wants to make friends and have you guys come to his church. Maybe he thinks you and your B/F are living in sin and hopes to help you guys marry and become whatever his religion is.

Now I'm not so sure but maybe in an odd way his not leaving the money anonymously fits in with his beleifs. He believes god wanted you to have the money and if he didn't give it to you personally then you wouldn't know it was god giving it to you and his goal is to do what he thinks god would want him to do so give god the credit. On the other hand it could be that he believes you should know god told him to because he thinks god instructs him and eventually you guys will find out he thinks he is some sort of divine prophet of god.

It could go either way. I agree with others here about not telling your B/F and had it not been for that I would have still thought it's crazy or at least odd but now I think there's more to it since he told you keep it secret from your B/F. I would give the money back and it pains me to admit that but I would do it in a way that his wife, if she exists, doesn't know only because I wouldn't want to be around when the you know what hits the fan because she found out.
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Old 01-22-2012, 06:36 AM
 
1,253 posts, read 853,001 times
Reputation: 2449
Quote:
Originally Posted by moonsavvy View Post
The "maybe we'll see you at church" line speaks volumes regarding his intentions. I would give the money back immediately. Tell him God told you that you must give it back and that you are not in a relationship with your SO where you keep secrets from each other.
Best Answer On The Thread.

Whatever he tries to persuade you to do, you tell him God told you to do something else.

Tell him that God told you that the neighbor is supposed to mow your lawn.
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Old 01-22-2012, 09:07 AM
 
9,717 posts, read 5,932,535 times
Reputation: 9734
kiwifruit2...when he asked you not to tell your boyfriend or his "wife"...my hackles went up.....No matter how much you need the money...if you've accepted it, he will feel he's got an "in" on your life...I can almost see the future demands from him...and him believing he has the right to make those demands because you've accepted his money....
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Old 01-22-2012, 09:10 AM
 
9,717 posts, read 5,932,535 times
Reputation: 9734
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka View Post
Could be a random act of kindness. Nothing to worry about. I paid a woman's rent a couple months back. I'm sure she thinks I'm insane, but I've forgotten about her until now, but I'm sure she will always remember me.

However, he may be trying to sign you up for his church.
Curious Chamataka...did you keep that "random act of kindness" from your wife??
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Old 01-22-2012, 09:59 AM
 
1,414 posts, read 2,231,253 times
Reputation: 1740
My suggestion: return the $ in the mail, addressed to him. Include a note "Dear X, I'm not able to accept this. However, thank you for offering. Regards, Y" Whether his wife opens his mail and finds out is not your problem. Once this is done, keep your distance from him. I assume you told your BF about it? I would. Otherwise, you're (by default) complicit in his secret plan, and that would make me really uncomfortable.

Good luck - the guy sounds really creepy.

Last edited by didee; 01-22-2012 at 11:19 AM..
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Old 01-22-2012, 10:25 AM
 
Location: Nevernever land
2,558 posts, read 1,838,696 times
Reputation: 4302
The guy is creepy. The fact that he told you is no good. By telling you, he does expect something in return. When and what only he knows. Things are usually never given like that without wanting something in return, or he would have given it anonymously.

Next time, god might tell him to rape and kill you and burn your house down because you are a demon. Anyone who hears god is a little wacko if you ask me.
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Old 01-22-2012, 12:47 PM
 
5,074 posts, read 2,298,516 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fallingwater View Post
Did he know you were having financial hardships?
Im sure God told him, during many of their conversations.
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Old 01-22-2012, 01:01 PM
 
5,074 posts, read 2,298,516 times
Reputation: 5309
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lolipopbubbles View Post
Kiwifruit2 have you ever actually met his wife? I am wondering if she really exists. If she does maybe she didn't want him to give you the money and fears you will think they are a little crazy or just not understand their ways.

At first I though he just wants to make friends and have you guys come to his church. Maybe he thinks you and your B/F are living in sin and hopes to help you guys marry and become whatever his religion is.

Now I'm not so sure but maybe in an odd way his not leaving the money anonymously fits in with his beleifs. He believes god wanted you to have the money and if he didn't give it to you personally then you wouldn't know it was god giving it to you and his goal is to do what he thinks god would want him to do so give god the credit. On the other hand it could be that he believes you should know god told him to because he thinks god instructs him and eventually you guys will find out he thinks he is some sort of divine prophet of god.

It could go either way. I agree with others here about not telling your B/F and had it not been for that I would have still thought it's crazy or at least odd but now I think there's more to it since he told you keep it secret from your B/F. I would give the money back and it pains me to admit that but I would do it in a way that his wife, if she exists, doesn't know only because I wouldn't want to be around when the you know what hits the fan because she found out.
Seems like a reasonable advice, although if I were Kiwi, I would have my BF return the money. Not in a angry or confrontational way, but in a polite way. I am pretty sure that when this type situation occurs, and you are dealing with a possible obsession/infatuation/odd dynamic type of situation, the more the two subjects act exclusively (as in keeping their SO out of the equation), the closer to their goal one of the subjects feels. Its obvious Im no shrink, but it seems like common sense to me or perhaps I read it somewhere. Of course Im being very skeptical here, its quite possible that the guy is a kind and giving man, and thats all. Simply going by the amount of info Kiwi has shared and looking for worst possible scenario (which btw isnt my usual approach since I think Im an optimist for the most part).
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Old 01-22-2012, 08:22 PM
 
474 posts, read 109,064 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kiwifruit2 View Post
Hey. Wasn't sure where to post this so hope this fits.

SO.... We moved in 2 years ago to a really private 2 acre lot. We don't hang out with the neighbors and kind of keep to ourselves. This one neighbor who lives 2 houses down came over and asked about our broken lawn mower (sucked considering we had 2 acres of land to mow). Anyway he asked to buy the mower and I was fine with that. Then he started talking about religion and asked if I go to church, what religion am I, do I believe in Christ as our Savior, just a lot of questions about my personal beliefs. I am very private about my beliefs and when I was growing up, the one thing I was taught not to bring up to people you first meet is politics and religion, so I admit I was a little taken aback by his boldness. He invited me over for bible study at his house, which I kindly declined. He pressed on further trying to talk me into it, which made me uncomfortable, since I already said no thank you. He veered away from that, I think he noticed I was uncomfortable, on to my kids and his kids playing together, saying my kids could come over anytime. I said sure that would be nice to get together, you too, your kids can come over just call beforehand and we can set up a play date. Then he bluntly told me his wife wouldn't allow their kids over at MY house, but mine could come to THEIRS because I had a trampoline. Well they have an above ground pool right off their deck, so that's pretty dangerous too. His kids are older and mine weren't even in school at the time. The previous neighbor I had was like this, so I was kinda having deja vu at this point, and I did not want to get into another neighbor fiasco. I just remained friendly with him and blew it off, accepting the fact we would probably never have a play date.

A year went by and he came over again, this time talked to my bf and he told me the guy was the same way with him trying to get him to come to the church, talking about God, etc.

Then more time goes by, not sure how long but it was right before this past Thanksgiving, and one day as I'm doing my morning chores, blaring Norah Jones You Humble Me Lord (ironically) I get a knock on my door. I was actually crying right before he came over because this was right at the time my partner got news he might lose his job. He hadn't been getting many hours to start with and I was in the midst of getting my own career off the ground with an online college and we weren't doing well at all. Just a stressful time. That and I had a lot of family drama/issues I had been depressed about. I open the door and he's standing there in his uniform (he's a cop) with a wad of cash in one hand. He hands me the cash, I'm standing there bewildered and caught off guard, and he says, "God told me to give this to you." My first reaction is no, I can't take your money. Take it back I don't need it, that's yours, etc. He absolutely refuses and tells me, "Here's $500. Buy yourself a nice Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas. Do not tell my wife or tell your boyfriend, just say it was anonymous. God told me to give this to you. Maybe we'll see you in church this Sunday." Then he left and I'm standing there with the cash. I walk inside, set the money down as the song finishes.

You Humble Me Lord...






Now I'm not a super religious person, I do have my own beliefs and believe in God. I go to my own church, but I have to admit this guy is persistent. God bless him. My friends joked around saying, "I'm moving to your neighborhood!" and my mom warned, "Watch it, he may have ill intentions." She trusts nobody, lol. I don't know what to think honestly. What would you think? Oh and to add a bit more, right on Christmas, our heater broke. Isn't that ironic? Don't ya think?
So? What's so surprising about what he's done. Maybe he was a good Samaritan who thought he could help you out a bit when needed, is that so wrong in today's world? I don't understand.
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