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Old 01-24-2012, 07:28 PM
 
663 posts, read 937,971 times
Reputation: 940

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Quote:
Originally Posted by D. Scott View Post
Indeed I did not set a time to get the 40 back. I told him to let me know how he was doing, esp with the job interview and leads and was not going to worry about the 40 bucks. The phone call hurt because he seemed so appreciative, and promised to make the friendship better. I did not even get a wish for the holidays. Its like a mystery with no closure at all. I told myself to let it go, but at night it comes back into my mind. And it sucks esp now as the last 4 months and the start of 2012 have been SO positive. Everything else is working so well. And i fought with every fiber of my being to get here. I worked hard and made some goals that i thought were dead and gone.
Meh, if everything else is going well I would let this one thing go. They might be embarrassed and all that, they might not. Who knows. In any case, I'd let it go. One incident like this shouldn't cloud the rest of your life.
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Old 01-24-2012, 07:34 PM
 
16,025 posts, read 19,571,183 times
Reputation: 26194
Quote:
Originally Posted by D. Scott View Post
Indeed I did not set a time to get the 40 back. I told him to let me know how he was doing, esp with the job interview and leads and was not going to worry about the 40 bucks. The phone call hurt because he seemed so appreciative, and promised to make the friendship better. I did not even get a wish for the holidays. Its like a mystery with no closure at all. I told myself to let it go, but at night it comes back into my mind. And it sucks esp now as the last 4 months and the start of 2012 have been SO positive. Everything else is working so well. And i fought with every fiber of my being to get here. I worked hard and made some goals that i thought were dead and gone.
Well, you need to let this negative energy go. IMO 40 dollars is not a lot to lose, or since you told him you weren't going to worry about it, to have given away.
What bothers you most, his not calling, or the money? Do not stress over this. he will either pop up at some point, like he saw you yesterday, maybe even w/ the money in hand. You did a good deed, enjoy your good karma, your new goals.....and move on
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Old 01-24-2012, 07:50 PM
 
Location: Texas
4,935 posts, read 6,774,257 times
Reputation: 5489
Oh the irony in the title of this thread.
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Old 01-24-2012, 08:05 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn,NY
10,596 posts, read 13,085,420 times
Reputation: 16135
All the replies are appreciated! Just going to move on best I can. I can live without the $40. The vanishing act is what bothers me. He spoke so many kind words. So many. To think it was an act just sucks esp with decades of friendship. Test of faith in people maybe. Who knows. Thanks all. Going to grab an ice cold Beer and soldier on!
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Old 01-24-2012, 08:15 PM
 
2,495 posts, read 3,610,420 times
Reputation: 4850
Quote:
Originally Posted by Philosophizer View Post
Oh the irony in the title of this thread.
http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c243/PinaColada13/LMAO.gif (broken link)
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Old 01-24-2012, 08:40 PM
 
Location: Wyoming
9,390 posts, read 17,311,940 times
Reputation: 14022
$40 is nothing. He's probably still struggling and doesn't want to contact you until he can pay you back, or.... You don't know why he hasn't contacted you, so don't worry about it. My guess is that he was genuine. Nobody makes up huge stories just to stiff an acquaintance out of $40.
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Old 01-24-2012, 09:45 PM
 
6,355 posts, read 5,435,947 times
Reputation: 8848
Quote:
Originally Posted by PurePugx3 View Post
Never loan money, that's what banks are for. Only give the gift of money if you won't miss it once it's gone and happens to never come back.
We rarely give money to anyone outside of my kids (two are young adults). We don't do loans....if I can't hand you over the money, I just won't go there and loans are out of the question. I will not chase anyone down for money or expend any mental energy on issues like that. More often than not, people won't pay you back. There are exceptions but it's not typical. Not worth it. Money makes relationships complicated and can sometimes end them too.

Be glad it was only $40. I figure that was money well spent if that's what it took to discern your friend is a user. You lost $40 and now you're losing sleep over it? I understand the situation is not good but it's not worth the energy you are wasting on it.

Next time, just say no.
All of the above. And if you feel you MUST give them a loan, have them sign a Promissory Note.

I knew someone who was loaned money by a friend. A Promissory Note was signed, but the "loaner" never pressed the "loanee" for payments, so he didn't make any. The "loaner" died, and the "loanee" assumed he was off the hook. WRONG. The deceased's children hired an attorney and went after the "loanee" for the money, and he had to pay it all in one lump sum, which was a lot.
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Old 01-24-2012, 09:58 PM
 
14,396 posts, read 17,261,637 times
Reputation: 11189
Sometimes people go through tough times and can't see the way out. It's like they go into survival mode (along with depression) and they try to lessen the extraneous stuff in their life as much as possible.

He may resurface again once he gets himself together.
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Old 01-24-2012, 10:40 PM
 
1,232 posts, read 1,447,095 times
Reputation: 961
Does he have a drug problem? I'd let it go. First of all, the lord will bless you for what you've done. So, it's not worth going to jail over. People like that can never have enough friends, because they'll always be in need. You just bought him, for $40. That's all. In the future, try not to let friends or family borrow money. If you have it to "give", then let them have it, minus the obligation of paying you back. That way, you'll never have to worry about losing a friend/family member, over the loan. Remember, your best family/friends will usually return your money to you, regardless of being told not to.
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Old 01-25-2012, 12:36 AM
 
3,573 posts, read 5,622,248 times
Reputation: 3437
Quote:
Originally Posted by WyoNewk View Post
$40 is nothing. He's probably still struggling and doesn't want to contact you until he can pay you back, or.... You don't know why he hasn't contacted you, so don't worry about it. My guess is that he was genuine. Nobody makes up huge stories just to stiff an acquaintance out of $40.
I'm thinking the same thing. I think he is embarrassed that he might have told you too much of his personal problems and then borrowing money.

Just let it go and if he pays you back, great and if not, great...move on.

I don't think he was using you.
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