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View Poll Results: Can an alpha male be a nice guy?
No - except in rare circumstances 23 35.38%
Yes - it happens commonly, not rarely 42 64.62%
Voters: 65. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 02-09-2012, 12:31 PM
 
4,873 posts, read 3,284,186 times
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Lol, remember though that beta is not an obscene 4-letter word A beta can be a beta and be completely happy about it. I can assure you that not all betas are aspiring alphas, and they don't always necessarily envy alpha behavior, either

I am a beta and I like being a beta, because it allows me to be more of a sensitive person (a quality which I happen to like about myself) than I would be able to be, were I an alpha. And yes I like being able to be soft-hearted, soft-spoken, and generally very gentle with ppl, which would be much harder to do if I were an alpha. I *like* being a softie!

But yes I like being a beta, and I don't want to be an alpha

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cyborgt800 View Post
Many people's idea of an Alpha male are actually Beta males who are wannabees! They are the: "You ain't a real man unless..." type!
An Alpha male is leading the way therefore has no time, inclination or reason to observe "trends/styles"....he's the one creating them unbeknownst to him....it's the Betas who are copying the Alphas that they look up to to at least LOOK the part while clumsily trying to emulate them.

This is where the "macho" or @sshole thing comes from. An Alpha male may be direct and in some cases that may be hurtful to a very sensitive person, but the intention is to do RIGHT, not to hurt. The sensitive beta mistakes that intent when emulating it.

The Alpha will hold himself and others to a high level of integrity and has no qualms about correcting a behavior (his or anothers) to achieve justice...the Alpha holds a high amount of self discipline whereas the Beta does not...it's more of a double standard.

This high level of performance/integrity brings forth both admiration and resentment from Betas...mostly because the Betas feel somewhat emasculated by an Alpha. Betas then try to make another feel lower than they feel.

Often though the higher level of Betas can be brought up a few more levels in the midst of an Alpha. A good example is a coach or a drill instructor...some of their subjects may learn the way of the alpha and others will never.

I call the ones who learn, Alpha potentials...yes, I believe there are Alphas or higher level Betas who could be Alphas with the correct training....Many Alphas have been raised to be betas in todays fatherless environment and with societal pressure to Emasculate strong men.

As for Alphas and "nice guys"...no two types could be further apart! Alphas are "GOOD GUYS", but that's quite different from "NICE".
Don't confuse that with impolite or rude/crude though.

I suggest reading "No More Mr. Nice Guy" to fully understand the difference though.
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Old 02-09-2012, 12:33 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth, TX
9,400 posts, read 7,982,500 times
Reputation: 6070
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eddie Felson View Post
alpha male means he is socially dominant, people react to him. They are rarely decent guys, usually exempt of the code of conduct which they hold everyone else to, and have dark triad traits. Doesn't really matter what his socioeconomic status is either, its pretty much all behavioral but is most commonly it's a high T guy. Rich, famous ,charming, charismatic, extroverted guys like Brad Pitt and Tom Brady have way more women throw themselves at them than an average guy.... the same can be said for serial killers, like Richard Ramirez.
People like Ramirez are cowards and wastes of life, and the women who throw themselves at guys like that generally have a few screws loose.
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Old 02-09-2012, 12:37 PM
 
Location: Eternal State of Confusion
7,309 posts, read 8,655,376 times
Reputation: 9485
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cyborgt800 View Post
Many people's idea of an Alpha male are actually Beta males who are wannabees! They are the: "You ain't a real man unless..." type!
An Alpha male is leading the way therefore has no time, inclination or reason to observe "trends/styles"....he's the one creating them unbeknownst to him....it's the Betas who are copying the Alphas that they look up to to at least LOOK the part while clumsily trying to emulate them.

This is where the "macho" or @sshole thing comes from. An Alpha male may be direct and in some cases that may be hurtful to a very sensitive person, but the intention is to do RIGHT, not to hurt. The sensitive beta mistakes that intent when emulating it.

The Alpha will hold himself and others to a high level of integrity and has no qualms about correcting a behavior (his or anothers) to achieve justice...the Alpha holds a high amount of self discipline whereas the Beta does not...it's more of a double standard.

This high level of performance/integrity brings forth both admiration and resentment from Betas...mostly because the Betas feel somewhat emasculated by an Alpha. Betas then try to make another feel lower than they feel.

Often though the higher level of Betas can be brought up a few more levels in the midst of an Alpha. A good example is a coach or a drill instructor...some of their subjects may learn the way of the alpha and others will never.

I call the ones who learn, Alpha potentials...yes, I believe there are Alphas or higher level Betas who could be Alphas with the correct training....Many Alphas have been raised to be betas in todays fatherless environment and with societal pressure to Emasculate strong men.

As for Alphas and "nice guys"...no two types could be further apart! Alphas are "GOOD GUYS", but that's quite different from "NICE".
Don't confuse that with impolite or rude/crude though.

I suggest reading "No More Mr. Nice Guy" to fully understand the difference though.

Well stated.
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Old 02-09-2012, 12:38 PM
 
Location: Woodinville
2,384 posts, read 1,760,869 times
Reputation: 4558
An alpha male doesn't have to be a D. Many alphas out there are simply good men, who are by definition courteous, well-mannered, intelligent, and generally pleasant to be around.

That "nice guy" label has so many interpretations that it's all but lost its meaning.
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Old 02-09-2012, 12:41 PM
 
Location: Eternal State of Confusion
7,309 posts, read 8,655,376 times
Reputation: 9485
Quote:
Originally Posted by NotARedneck View Post
People are much more complex than a pack of wolves where the biggest, nastiest individual gets to breed. Besides, we have rules and laws to prevent this sort of behavior.

If someone were to study humans the same way, they would likely find that the best looking and sneakiest are the biggest breeders. Combining both almost ensures a lot of offspring. I suppose that one can be an "alpha" in this way.

Usually when we look at what makes an alpha male, success in life, especially financial success is a big factor. However, there is a lot of criminality involved and many who appear to be successful, really aren't doing it on their merits.

Women can be attracted to an alpha type's money but these same women will often have their children with men who are alpha in the best looking and sneakiest category. On this topic, I wonder if one could get a genetic family tree of the royal families of Europe, how often this occurred. The Arabs don't keep a harem for no reason!
WTH!?!?

Being an alpha male doesn't equate to money, but they are often successful in what they do because they tend to be natural leaders and good at managing people.

Last edited by TheImportersWife; 02-09-2012 at 12:52 PM..
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Old 02-09-2012, 12:46 PM
 
Location: Chicago
2,169 posts, read 2,371,631 times
Reputation: 2155
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cyborgt800 View Post
Many people's idea of an Alpha male are actually Beta males who are wannabees! They are the: "You ain't a real man unless..." type!
An Alpha male is leading the way therefore has no time, inclination or reason to observe "trends/styles"....he's the one creating them unbeknownst to him....it's the Betas who are copying the Alphas that they look up to to at least LOOK the part while clumsily trying to emulate them.

This is where the "macho" or @sshole thing comes from. An Alpha male may be direct and in some cases that may be hurtful to a very sensitive person, but the intention is to do RIGHT, not to hurt. The sensitive beta mistakes that intent when emulating it.

The Alpha will hold himself and others to a high level of integrity and has no qualms about correcting a behavior (his or anothers) to achieve justice...the Alpha holds a high amount of self discipline whereas the Beta does not...it's more of a double standard.

This high level of performance/integrity brings forth both admiration and resentment from Betas...mostly because the Betas feel somewhat emasculated by an Alpha. Betas then try to make another feel lower than they feel.

Often though the higher level of Betas can be brought up a few more levels in the midst of an Alpha. A good example is a coach or a drill instructor...some of their subjects may learn the way of the alpha and others will never.

I call the ones who learn, Alpha potentials...yes, I believe there are Alphas or higher level Betas who could be Alphas with the correct training....Many Alphas have been raised to be betas in todays fatherless environment and with societal pressure to Emasculate strong men.

As for Alphas and "nice guys"...no two types could be further apart! Alphas are "GOOD GUYS", but that's quite different from "NICE".
Don't confuse that with impolite or rude/crude though.

I suggest reading "No More Mr. Nice Guy" to fully understand the difference though.
Holy ****. You just explained me to a "T". I am a good guy and I strive to be nothing but a wonderful person. I need no religion to follow to know the difference between right or wrong. I always get confronted with the "Betas" who try to talk smack in a bar when they are drunk. It never ends well for them. I can stick up for myself and have. But I have never started a fight.

I always treat a woman like a lady, except when she doesn't act like one. Although, I would never hit one. I have nothing to prove. Thank you for your post.
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Old 02-09-2012, 02:01 PM
 
Location: Midland TX
3,991 posts, read 2,362,679 times
Reputation: 3978
Default Yada yada

^^^^True!

Quote:
I am a beta and I like being a beta, because it allows me to be more of a sensitive person (a quality which I happen to like about myself) than I would be able to be, were I an alpha. And yes I like being able to be soft-hearted, soft-spoken, and generally very gentle with ppl, which would be much harder to do if I were an alpha. I *like* being a softie!
You misunderstand....an Alpha has great capacity to show kindness, but it's not so people will SEE and like him for being kind...he doesn't do it for kudos...he does it because it's the right thing to do in that situation.

He's the guy who will take his woman shopping and hold her purse for her without being embarrassed or feel the need to apologize to other men when they see this...or help take care of the baby...it's HIS woman and HIS child that matter...not your opinion of those activities! Those activities are necessary for his family at the time. The beta is the one who is "too macho" for that...gotta do "man stuff" instead so people will think they're a MAN!

The alpha mistakenly gets the insensitive label because in the midst of doing right some people react with their FEELINGS instead of seeing that the Alpha was the only one who is actually HELPING a situation...they often are chided for attempting the impossible or unthinkable.

Simple example of advice that an alpha might give to someone complaining about a situation that the person is in:
"Change it if you can, if you can't then exit the situation or accept it for what it is, but stop complaining about it."
Now, that may seem insensitive but if the person follows that advice their pain will cease quicker than what a beta might do, which is join in with the complainer and help them wallow in the name of sympathy....prolonging the situation and pain.

An Alpha will politely turn down an invitation they can't or don't want to attend without excuse, whereas a beta will make up some explanation of why they may not be able to make it, sometimes leaving the possibility that they will be there, even though they know they won't. This causes more damage than just directly declining, but in the moment SEEMS less hurtful.
Example:

Q: Can you help me move next Saturday?
Alpha: No, sorry.
Betas: Oh, yeah, well...I have a few things I gotta do (*details*), but I'll try and make it over at some point.

Do you think the person asking might think they have help coming and plan accordingly?

The Alpha's perceived insensitivity causes less pain/damage than the Beta's sympathetic "niceness".

In the above example, should the Alpha have said yes, he might have also told the Beta to just come help or not but be clear upon hearing the explanations...the Beta likely would be hurt by this and feel intimidated.....and the Alpha would then actually show up on Saturday because he said he would...possibly with help.

Alpha= substance over perception...masters of DOING
Beta= perception over substance....Masters of APPEARANCE of doing.
Omega= Huh? what happened?....Left behind.
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Old 02-09-2012, 02:02 PM
 
1,223 posts, read 1,059,778 times
Reputation: 953
so an alpha male only cares about himself?
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Old 02-09-2012, 02:06 PM
 
Location: Duarte, CA
5,170 posts, read 5,406,339 times
Reputation: 3339
I see an alpha male as a man who will not easily give in when others violate his rights and dignity and one who takes charge in his life. That same person can still be a nice, pleasant, and likeable character. I know several people in my life who are that way.. I don't see those two as mutually exclusive.
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Old 02-09-2012, 02:07 PM
 
Location: Midland TX
3,991 posts, read 2,362,679 times
Reputation: 3978
Default Grrr...

Quote:
so an alpha male only cares about himself?
NO, an Alpha cares about RIGHT over appearance, popularity, coolness or anything else!
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