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Old 02-17-2012, 11:42 PM
 
Location: Astoria, NY
3,053 posts, read 3,604,356 times
Reputation: 2475

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I don't doubt he uses money to shield his insecurities.

Like he always likes to brag how much he spends on girls he's interested in...

And if he hears I'm meeting a guy for the first time, he always likes to say something to the effect of "Where is he taking you, Daniel's (the most expensive restaurant in the city, where a dinner for 2 would average something like 1K)? That's how you know he really likes you."

I feel he's somewhat jealous of men I date even though we're just friends.

Next time I should say, "We went out to a mid-range humble Italian place but I think I'll be calling him back to hang out again because I'm wildly attracted to him, unlike the girl you took out and spent 2K on who won't let you touch her in public."

That would be really cruel, even for me (who says really cruel things without thinking of them), but I'm tempted.
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Old 02-18-2012, 08:34 AM
 
3,111 posts, read 7,027,596 times
Reputation: 4251
Quote:
Originally Posted by xxbabeechick View Post
I know this is a matter of perception, but I'm tired of hearing my friend whine about money. He's in his late thirties and is a single man making 200K with plenty saved and property in several states that he rents out. He's not rich but he's better off than a lot of people. Meanwhile our mutual friend and I (who he also whines to) are busting our asses just trying to pay our rent. We discuss this all the time. He takes 8K vacations and complains about how broke he is when he comes back. He will lose 20K in the stock market and sit in Penn Station crying (LITERALLY), asking me how he can afford his next drink. He permanently damaged his relationship with our mutual friend because she owed him 100 bucks (!) after her wallet got stolen and it took her 3 weeks to pay him back, and he wouldn't stop hounding her. Meanwhile he was bragging to her about taking girls on 2K dinners. Does he not understand how galling that is?

Should I outrightly tell him this behavior is really putting me off? Because I've hinted but I think I need to be more direct.
He sounds like a douche. I would not be friends with him.
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Old 02-18-2012, 09:06 AM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,266 posts, read 54,712,832 times
Reputation: 66782
Quote:
Originally Posted by xxbabeechick View Post
I know this is a matter of perception, but I'm tired of hearing my friend whine about money. He's in his late thirties and is a single man making 200K with plenty saved and property in several states that he rents out. He's not rich but he's better off than a lot of people. Meanwhile our mutual friend and I (who he also whines to) are busting our asses just trying to pay our rent. We discuss this all the time. He takes 8K vacations and complains about how broke he is when he comes back. He will lose 20K in the stock market and sit in Penn Station crying (LITERALLY), asking me how he can afford his next drink. He permanently damaged his relationship with our mutual friend because she owed him 100 bucks (!) after her wallet got stolen and it took her 3 weeks to pay him back, and he wouldn't stop hounding her. Meanwhile he was bragging to her about taking girls on 2K dinners. Does he not understand how galling that is?

Should I outrightly tell him this behavior is really putting me off? Because I've hinted but I think I need to be more direct.
YES. People don't pick up on "hints". If you want to remain friends with this guy or give him a chance, tell him straight up: "Look, Other Friend and I don't have the money/resources you do, and you sit here whining about being broke when you are not. How do you think that sounds to US who don't have that much money?"
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Old 02-18-2012, 09:33 AM
 
12,577 posts, read 13,325,437 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
YES. People don't pick up on "hints". If you want to remain friends with this guy or give him a chance, tell him straight up: "Look, Other Friend and I don't have the money/resources you do, and you sit here whining about being broke when you are not. How do you think that sounds to US who don't have that much money?"
IMO a statement as this would inflate his ego that much more since he probably knows he makes more than the other two. I would tell him his constant whining about money is tedious & boring.
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Old 02-18-2012, 04:47 PM
 
Location: Astoria, NY
3,053 posts, read 3,604,356 times
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Yeah, he of course knows he makes more than we do, which is precisely why it's so insensitive. We haven't gone out together in almost 2 weeks, but when we do, we'll have a lil' discussion. I plan to keep it short and sweet.
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Old 02-18-2012, 05:15 PM
 
5,483 posts, read 6,390,588 times
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Honestly, guys who brag about money, how much they make, spend or have - make me laugh. I thought women found that to be a major turn off, but I guess I may have been wrong. Its a given, they are trying to make up for something that they are lacking.
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Old 02-18-2012, 08:14 PM
 
6,475 posts, read 9,944,220 times
Reputation: 10930
Quote:
Originally Posted by xxbabeechick View Post
I feel he's somewhat jealous of men I date even though we're just friends.

Next time I should say, "We went out to a mid-range humble Italian place but I think I'll be calling him back to hang out again because I'm wildly attracted to him, unlike the girl you took out and spent 2K on who won't let you touch her in public."

That would be really cruel, even for me (who says really cruel things without thinking of them), but I'm tempted.
Consider it a proverbial slap in the face, which is what he needs.

Go ahead... DO IT!!!
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Old 02-18-2012, 09:45 PM
 
Location: Atlantis
3,017 posts, read 3,272,599 times
Reputation: 8824
I'm surrounded by upper middle class and upper class friends that whine about money - although in most of the upper class cases, it is just friends that have wealthy parents and they are uppler class by default due to their lifestyles and access to money.


Now, the latest and greatest was my cousin who has the cognitive brain function of a manatee. He travels alot: Honk Kong, Europe, Mexico, and has had his entire life paid for by his father (my uncle). He currently lives in a condo my uncle owns that was empty and he does not have to pay rent, and his truck was bought and paid for by my uncle, as well as all of his flight school hours to learn how to become a pilot. - Ok, so his latest and greatest comment was. . . .

"the state keeps taking more money from me to give people food coupons so they do not go into starvation." I was like "food stamps?", and he was like "yeah, those food coupons and debit cards with free money on them so they can buy cigarettes and drugs with cash." And he went on and on about how his life would be so much better if the state stopped taking money from him to give "food coupons" to people. He is a total intellectual genius too. He went on a rant last week about how he is a republican and that the "democratics" want to take money away from him to give to people that do not want to work. Regarding the upcoming election in November and his belief that a republican will defeat Obama "the democratic", he said he feels like he is being an "optimistic" right now.
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Old 02-18-2012, 10:47 PM
 
Location: NC
6,032 posts, read 7,577,030 times
Reputation: 6351
Probably is carrying alot of debt as well. 200k in NYC isn't really the kind of income to buy a bunch of real estate with, lol...

The old saying, those who brag the most.....

Just separate yourself from him as you have done.



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Old 02-18-2012, 11:22 PM
 
Location: San Leandro
4,576 posts, read 7,890,633 times
Reputation: 3248
More money more problems, now excuse me while I fan myself with one dollar bills.
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