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Old 02-17-2012, 07:59 PM
 
Location: Astoria, NY
3,053 posts, read 3,603,508 times
Reputation: 2475

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I know this is a matter of perception, but I'm tired of hearing my friend whine about money. He's in his late thirties and is a single man making 200K with plenty saved and property in several states that he rents out. He's not rich but he's better off than a lot of people. Meanwhile our mutual friend and I (who he also whines to) are busting our asses just trying to pay our rent. We discuss this all the time. He takes 8K vacations and complains about how broke he is when he comes back. He will lose 20K in the stock market and sit in Penn Station crying (LITERALLY), asking me how he can afford his next drink. He permanently damaged his relationship with our mutual friend because she owed him 100 bucks (!) after her wallet got stolen and it took her 3 weeks to pay him back, and he wouldn't stop hounding her. Meanwhile he was bragging to her about taking girls on 2K dinners. Does he not understand how galling that is?

Should I outrightly tell him this behavior is really putting me off? Because I've hinted but I think I need to be more direct.
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Old 02-17-2012, 08:02 PM
 
Location: Center of the universe
24,757 posts, read 34,000,534 times
Reputation: 11780
Quote:
Originally Posted by xxbabeechick View Post
I know this is a matter of perception, but I'm tired of hearing my friend whine about money. He's in his late thirties and is a single man making 200K with plenty saved and property in several states that he rents out. He's not rich but he's better off than a lot of people. Meanwhile our mutual friend and I (who he also whines to) are busting our asses just trying to pay our rent. We discuss this all the time. He takes 8K vacations and complains about how broke he is when he comes back. He will lose 20K in the stock market and sit in Penn Station crying (LITERALLY), asking me how he can afford his next drink. He permanently damaged his relationship with our mutual friend because she owed him 100 bucks (!) after her wallet got stolen and it took her 3 weeks to pay him back, and he wouldn't stop hounding her. Meanwhile he was bragging to her about taking girls on 2K dinners. Does he not understand how galling that is?

Should I outrightly tell him this behavior is really putting me off? Because I've hinted but I think I need to be more direct.

Why are you even friends with this loser?
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Old 02-17-2012, 08:06 PM
 
12,577 posts, read 13,323,717 times
Reputation: 8901
He may be upside down, in everything and digging the hole deeper to maintain appearances.
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Old 02-17-2012, 08:08 PM
 
2,681 posts, read 6,276,427 times
Reputation: 4143
Default yeah...

Quote:
Originally Posted by xxbabeechick View Post
I know this is a matter of perception, but I'm tired of hearing my friend whine about money. He's in his late thirties and is a single man making 200K with plenty saved and property in several states that he rents out. He's not rich but he's better off than a lot of people. Meanwhile our mutual friend and I (who he also whines to) are busting our asses just trying to pay our rent. We discuss this all the time. He takes 8K vacations and complains about how broke he is when he comes back. He will lose 20K in the stock market and sit in Penn Station crying (LITERALLY), asking me how he can afford his next drink. He permanently damaged his relationship with our mutual friend because she owed him 100 bucks (!) after her wallet got stolen and it took her 3 weeks to pay him back, and he wouldn't stop hounding her. Meanwhile he was bragging to her about taking girls on 2K dinners. Does he not understand how galling that is?

Should I outrightly tell him this behavior is really putting me off? Because I've hinted but I think I need to be more direct.
I hear what you're saying...have a brother-in-law that does the same thing...boy does he squeak when he walks...and guess who's coming for a
seven day visit? Promised my S/O I'd be on good behavior and keep my mouth...and wallet...shut.
Koale
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Old 02-17-2012, 08:14 PM
 
460 posts, read 573,317 times
Reputation: 741
Quote:
Originally Posted by xxbabeechick View Post
I know this is a matter of perception, but I'm tired of hearing my friend whine about money. He's in his late thirties and is a single man making 200K with plenty saved and property in several states that he rents out. He's not rich but he's better off than a lot of people. Meanwhile our mutual friend and I (who he also whines to) are busting our asses just trying to pay our rent. We discuss this all the time. He takes 8K vacations and complains about how broke he is when he comes back. He will lose 20K in the stock market and sit in Penn Station crying (LITERALLY), asking me how he can afford his next drink. He permanently damaged his relationship with our mutual friend because she owed him 100 bucks (!) after her wallet got stolen and it took her 3 weeks to pay him back, and he wouldn't stop hounding her. Meanwhile he was bragging to her about taking girls on 2K dinners. Does he not understand how galling that is?

Should I outrightly tell him this behavior is really putting me off? Because I've hinted but I think I need to be more direct.
Ugh! LOSER. It's not about the income. It's the insensitivity. This guy clearly is a jerk. I would just stop returning his calls.
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Old 02-17-2012, 08:16 PM
 
460 posts, read 573,317 times
Reputation: 741
Quote:
Originally Posted by WFW&P View Post
He may be upside down, in everything and digging the hole deeper to maintain appearances.
Probably! You only have money if your earnings exceed your spending. Otherwise you just have bigger expenses. You and I get this but some people of means don't while the people with less means just look at them with horror. I know a pro football player who got denied credit at a retail store. What does that tell you about people and their lifestyles.
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Old 02-17-2012, 08:21 PM
 
Location: Astoria, NY
3,053 posts, read 3,603,508 times
Reputation: 2475
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucario View Post
Why are you even friends with this loser?
Good question.

I've stopped talking to him for long periods of time because of his behavior, but he'll beg endlessly until I change my mind. He also tells me he doesn't know what he would do without me and how much he loves me (as a friend). I guess he's sensed at times that I've been seriously turned off by his behavior, so he'll try to do things like make me swear I won't ever stop being his friend for any reason.
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Old 02-17-2012, 08:22 PM
 
15,729 posts, read 18,118,322 times
Reputation: 12742
Quote:
Originally Posted by WFW&P View Post
He may be upside down, in everything and digging the hole deeper to maintain appearances.
^^^this. A lot of the times, the higher the income, the higher the spending.
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Old 02-17-2012, 08:23 PM
 
Location: NJ
18,677 posts, read 17,088,173 times
Reputation: 7282
OP, Tell him his changing his ways is the only condition upon which you will continue to be friends with him. Ultimatum. Stand firm on it.
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Old 02-17-2012, 08:34 PM
 
97 posts, read 105,714 times
Reputation: 238
I would let him know that money is not all that defines people. You can have all the money in the world so you can sit on it, use it as tissue paper, and make paper cranes with it. I think you need to give him a reality check that the reason why he is stressing out about money is because he doesn't have control over it. He makes a significant amount of cash and still feels inadequate. He probably has some psychological issues. The fact that he would 'beg' to be your friend speaks volumes about the fact that he probably has some personal issues. Until he relates to people like individuals with feelings, he will slowly lose all the friends he has. Why not give him an ultimatum that if you're friends with him, he can't talk about money. I have a feeling you will end up dumping him much easier since he will probably revert to his narcissistic ways.
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