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Old 02-19-2012, 01:00 PM
 
Location: London UK & Florida USA
7,922 posts, read 7,819,282 times
Reputation: 2035

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The fact that he is singleing you out for his remarks probably means he is trying the psychology that by being nasty to you will show everyone that he doesn't fancy you but he really really does.
He might think that you are a jerk..... simple.
Whatever his reasoning he is best dealt with by ignoring his stupidity as every one of your real friends will see for themselves what a fool he is. Reacting to him will only make him feel better but might make it look like he is hitting a nerve with you and maybe you are uncomfortable because you fancy him too.
Letting his remarks go over your head will confuse him and not let him get his way as he is obviously trying to get a reaction. In this case the less you do the more you achieve.
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Old 02-19-2012, 01:18 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,738 posts, read 9,939,770 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
Actually, the non-violent ones are the ones that stay out of jail and keep their friends. As for the people that can't comprehend anything else but violence - those are the people that you cut out of your life - not that you hurt physically.
yes best to cut them out of your life altogether. but if you can't do that and seem like he can't do that; i suggest other methods to handle this problem.
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Old 02-19-2012, 01:22 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,199 posts, read 20,906,534 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by reed067 View Post
With my group of friends we all take little jabs at each other when someone does or says something moronic. I think most do this & it's all in fun we laugh & no one gets thier feelings hurt. I've lost A LOT of weight in the past year & still have some more to go. Someone mentioned the orange shirt he was wearing, some how he looked at me & said "Hey your a really big guy you would look good as a pumpkin. I thought about scaring the hell out of him I could step on this guy easy enough. So he might maybe he would get the clue. He has made other insults her & there about my looks as well those don't bother me as much as the weight jokes. I dont have his phone number I do have him on FB though. There are night where he is Ok there are other nights where other people have a problem with him as well. He's been a good friend to the person who holds the game night, so it's a touchy subject while he isn't considered her best friend like myself & some others he is still a friend to her. There in lies the problem. She did tell me that I should of said something to him at that point I was in no mood to even look at him.
Ahhhh... Now I understand. I've been there before - more times than I would like to admit. I think this is what it boils down to. We all have insecurities and things we are sensitive about. Some people, like me, wear their insecurities on their sleeves and shout them out for all the world to see. "I hate my thighs! My nose is too big! I wish I was on Broadway already!" That's me. Then there are others who hide all their insecurities and put down others to make themselves feel better. They think that making fun of other people somehow makes them look better. I work in theatre. There are LOTS of people like this. They name drop. They are constantly talking about all the callbacks they have gotten, all the shows they are doing, etc. They give other people back handed compliments or insults that they pass off as jokes. How do I deal with them? Well - I TRY to just ignore it. Sometimes I make jabs back (which I usually regret later). Sometimes I cry. Depends on my mood, really! The thing to remember is that the people that act like that are not happy with themselves. People that are happy with themselves don't feel the need to put others down. The little jabs that are all in fun are just a part of friendship - but the real jabs and insults - those are made by unhappy people trying to make themselves feel better about themselves.

The best way to deal with it would to simply say something like - "Hey, dude, I've lost a lot of weight and I'm proud of myself. I don't know why you feel the need to keep putting me down." The not so good way to deal with it would be to say something like - "Hey jacka*** - it's game night. Why don't you simmer down and let us have fun with out your mouth running off!" A worse way to deal with it would be to say something like - "Shut your mouth or I'll shut it for you!" Or you could always just leave the room in tears like I've done before!

I don't know what to tell you beyond that. I LOVE game nights and I'm sorry that yours have become such an ordeal. Do you play running charades??? That's my favorite game ever!
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Old 02-19-2012, 01:32 PM
 
Location: Mostly in my head
19,814 posts, read 55,771,747 times
Reputation: 18994
I agree with a poster above who suggested he might be attracted to you and is trying to hide it.

One way to handle it is to simply give him a deadpan stare and ask mildly "why on earth would you say something so mean?"
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Old 02-19-2012, 02:26 PM
 
4,101 posts, read 6,120,156 times
Reputation: 5644
I suspect you need to develop a thicker skin. Laugh it off, roll with the punches. Don't make yourself look like the bad guy. Punch him, and you will lose your friend and probably all the others to0, you will not longer be included in game night. Learn to tolerate other people, game night isn't about only you.
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Old 02-19-2012, 02:41 PM
 
Location: Virginia
90 posts, read 115,447 times
Reputation: 288
He's baiting you. For whatever reason, he wants you to lose your cool in front of that group. Maybe so it will result in you being out and him being in. Who knows?

Dewdrop had a great suggestion. Come up with something to say, in front of everyone, calmly. Her example was good. It's a way of calling him out in front of the group without losing your cool. He will be put on the spot but you won't offend your friend.
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Old 02-19-2012, 02:49 PM
 
Location: Rutherfordton,NC
14,083 posts, read 8,985,828 times
Reputation: 9542
Quote:
Originally Posted by SouthernBelleInUtah View Post
I agree with a poster above who suggested he might be attracted to you and is trying to hide it.

No, this guy is into young guys MUCH younger then I am. He makes sure we all know this over & over.
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Old 02-19-2012, 02:54 PM
 
Location: London UK & Florida USA
7,922 posts, read 7,819,282 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by reed067 View Post
No, this guy is into young guys MUCH younger then I am. He makes sure we all know this over & over.
I think he "protesteth too much"
The guy sounds a bit screwed up and saying is not always telling the truth.
Just ignore him or as another poster said, put him in his place with a laid back retort............. "and your point is"??????????
Keep your cool and all will be well.
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Old 02-19-2012, 02:55 PM
 
Location: Rutherfordton,NC
14,083 posts, read 8,985,828 times
Reputation: 9542
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nite Ryder View Post
I suspect you need to develop a thicker skin. Laugh it off, roll with the punches. Don't make yourself look like the bad guy. Punch him, and you will lose your friend and probably all the others to0, you will not longer be included in game night. Learn to tolerate other people, game night isn't about only you.

It's one thing that we all take little jabs at each other, but getting personal is too much. Rolling with the punches is one thing when joking around. My skin is pretty thick or if it wasn't I would of done something to him by now. In the end I'm only human & you can only tolerate so much. So I keep letting him taking personal shots at me. Got it!
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Old 02-19-2012, 02:57 PM
 
Location: Rutherfordton,NC
14,083 posts, read 8,985,828 times
Reputation: 9542
Quote:
Originally Posted by geeoro View Post
I think he "protesteth too much"
The guy sounds a bit screwed up and saying is not always telling the truth.
Just ignore him or as another poster said, put him in his place with a laid back retort............. "and your point is"??????????
Keep your cool and all will be well.

He is VERY screwed up. Like I said before there are nights he's fine untill the last couple of weeks. Some others have had problems with him as well.
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