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My father passed away in 1984 and she moped around for about five years. But once she acquired a boyfriend, everything else in her life took a back seat--particularly her family. Even today, if she is delivering a birthday present for one of her grandchildren, she pulls into the driveway, honks the horn, hands the present out the window and zooms away--because she's always doing something with David, her married boyfriend. I'll invite her in to socialize, but no dice. She might as well just fling it onto the front lawn as if she were the cotton-picking paperboy.
Mind you, my mother lives five miles from us and has never attended a single soccer game, lacrosse game, band concert or anything else that her grandchildren are doing. Yet she'll drop everything and drive cross-country with her married boyfriend if there is any kind of social event in David's life. My mother, who was always a warm and funny soul, can't even have a one-on-one conversation with me on the phone anymore because the married boyfriend always picks up on the extension and listens in, throwing out odd remarks now and then.
Last weekend, MrsCPG and I went out of town for a four-day trip to Chicago. Two months in advance, I asked her if she would mind staying with our three kids. Mind you, I've never asked this of her in 17 years of raising children, and only asked her to watch our kids a handful of times because she looks on it as an imposition. She hemmed and hawed about it, chiefly because she was worried her married boyfriend might want her to do something that weekend.
I'll never do that again. According to my kids, she could barely stay at the house and bitched the entire time about it because she wasn't going to some fool party. Our kids were scheduled to serve in church this past Sunday at the youth service, with my daughter doing the readings, and she complained about having to attend our church as opposed to her own. Heck, our flight was delayed by 30 MINUTES on Monday, and she couldn't even stick around for us to pull into the driveway. She just picked up my thirteen-year-old from school, dumped him off at home, and practically burned rubber out of the driveway like something out of the Dukes of Hazzard. Why? Because she hadn't really seen her married boyfriend in four days.
My wife just can't wrap her head around this kind of behavior. To her, she thinks its sad that my mother can't manage to find time in her incredibly open schedule to know her intelligent, funny, creative, and talented grandchildren. To be honest, I shouldn't be able to, but she's been my mother all my life. I guess I should be used to it by now.
I personally would just cut her out of my life and her grandkids life and move on. No need to bring in extra BS when its not warranted.
That's fairly common actually. That's what happens typically when someone gets married, but it does happen often in just the relationship stage.
In my experience: I just see it as a sign that it's time to start making new friends.
That's what I think. There are people who enjoy being part of a couple, and there are people who remain single.
I know happily married people who do as much together as they possibly can, they grocery shop together, vacation together, some will even work in the same place -- it's just how they are, how they want to be. They're best off socializing with other couples.
I don't think single-types can relate to them and it's best to just move on and find other non-couple type friends. I know married people also who are more like singles, they vacation separately, spend very little time together.
Do you have a friend who won't do anything social without their SO/boyfriend/girlfriend? Anytime there is a group outing of friends to the bar, club, bowling, dinner, etc they cant fathom going solo. They will cancel plans based on what the other is doing, will make up excuses to sit at home and do nothing rather than venture out seemingly single.
How do you deal with these people without flipping out (have lost it a few times with this particular person)?
Yes but she is not single. She just won't go anywhere without their SO. While it's sweet, it's also annoying sometimes but I just dealt with it and would have her SO come too. It took a while but recently she has decided that she's no longer happy in her relationship so now she wants to go places without him more.
I highly enjoy being part of a couple as my SO and I do everything together. However, I know when there's time to have ME time alone or with my bff and he needs his time.
There are women (And men) like that. I don't understand them. She treats her S/O as if he were her oxygen supply. Then when the man breaks things off, she can't understand why there are no friends around to help her pick up the pieces.
People have got to have their own identity, if you are always in a "relationship" you'll never know that it is ok to do things alone or just with a group of friends. It seems you friend has wrapped their identity in their bf/gf/SO....sooo sad. OR that they don't trust self to remain faithful or their SO has trust issues?! Which could be a whole other set of issues..
If they are your friend, talk to them about your feelings and see if it even matters to them, or if they can give you a legit reason.
**Sometimes people are not ment to be in your life for a lifetime, just a time, reason or season**
Hmmm... this is all new to me. I always thought the key to life was to be happy. I didn't know it was important to please others. I guess I better start being miserable because others aren't doing what I'd like them to - yeah, right. Now, back to reality. If somebody comes at you like this, don't give a rats ass about their opinion. Also, if your friends aren't interested in hanging out with you, then your idea of a good time obviously doesn't do anything for them. It's stupid to label others as boring, because they choose to be with a SO, while you go out. Child, please. First of all, how do you know they're doing nothing? The reality is, they might be somewhere having more fun than you. Is that what you're afraid of? *chuckles* Let me end this before I really get started. To all those couples out there, enjoying themselves, keep doing what you're doing. And, when someone approaches you with this type of bull*hit, tell them haters to catch up with their crowd, i.e. get that dirt off your shoulders.
That's fairly common actually. That's what happens typically when someone gets married, but it does happen often in just the relationship stage.
In my experience: I just see it as a sign that it's time to start making new friends.
Yup. My best friend in high school was this way. Finally I gave up and stopped being friends with her. When she broke up with her boyfriend she came 'running back to me'. Only to have it happen again, learned my lesson, that isn't a good friend.
Hmmm... this is all new to me. I always thought the key to life was to be happy. I didn't know it was important to please others. I guess I better start being miserable because others aren't doing what I'd like them to - yeah, right. Now, back to reality. If somebody comes at you like this, don't give a rats ass about their opinion. Also, if your friends aren't interested in hanging out with you, then your idea of a good time obviously doesn't do anything for them. It's stupid to label others as boring, because they choose to be with a SO, while you go out. Child, please. First of all, how do you know they're doing nothing? The reality is, they might be somewhere having more fun than you. Is that what you're afraid of? *chuckles* Let me end this before I really get started. To all those couples out there, enjoying themselves, keep doing what you're doing. And, when someone approaches you with this type of bull*hit, tell them haters to catch up with their crowd, i.e. get that dirt off your shoulders.
Are you speaking from your soap box to someone in particular (it's hard to tell since you didn't quote anyone)? I started the thread and mentioned nothing above in my OP ("boring", "good time", "bulls***", etc).
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OR that they don't trust self to remain faithful or their SO has trust issues?! Which could be a whole other set of issues.. 
Is that what you're afraid of? *chuckles* Let me end this before I really get started. To all those couples out there, enjoying themselves, keep doing what you're doing. And, when someone approaches you with this type of bull*hit, tell them haters to catch up with their crowd, i.e. get that dirt off your shoulders.
Yup. My best friend in high school was this way. Finally I gave up and stopped being friends with her. When she broke up with her boyfriend she came 'running back to me'. Only to have it happen again, learned my lesson, that isn't a good friend.
