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I've got a handful of really good friends....that's about all I have time for.
However, there are a LOT of people that I am friendly with, purely because I see them on a frequent basis in social settings.
I'm the same way. I have about four really close friends who I keep in contact with alot. I really don't have any more room for anymore. Sometimes people will want to hang out (that aren't in my close circle) and I personally just don't have the time. I have a gf who only has a few friends and she likes it that way. She spends alot of time with her mother. Her mother is pretty cool. She's not the real "needy" type. Either am I. I was pretty popular in highschool and college (had a lot of friends there), but even then, most were only "associates". I was popular because I was nice to everybody. Never picked on people, etc, etc. I wasn't the type of person who was popular with a stick up their arse and who thought that they were special..That was not me at all. I wasn't one to pick on people, bully or make fun of. That just wasn't me. I was the guy who would take the time to be nice to the dorkiest kid in the class, because I knew that he probably needed that "kindness" the most. I made people feel very comfortable around me.
I've always been one to keep a few close friends on hand and I am very loyal. If I am your friend for years, most likely there is nothing that you can't come to me with. I am told that I am a good listener. My sister is like that as well. however, sometimes that comes with challenges. Because people who are all about themselves (you know the type, me, me, me, me, me) seem to gravitate towards me alot and it's annoying. They are the type that won't let you get a word in. Always cutting you off, won't let you say a word, etc..Sometimes, I am too nice to put them in their place, so I just tell them that I am busy. That's usually the truth anyways. Personally, I don't think there is enough time in the day to do all the things I need to do, so I really don't have time for new friends..
I use to feel like I was being teased and I had one girl who had a lot of friends call me "anti-social".
No, having a whole lot of friends aren't important to me now at all. I was the happiest in my life when all I had was one/two. When I had a group, I was in a state of despair and frustration over the amount of time they expected me to spend with them. And I wasn't good friends with any of them.
I too have four close friends who I know will be there and I for them. Used to be friends with a group of twenty or so, that was always a strain as the woman could be bitchy and self centred. I live in Scotland and we say it like it is a good thing at times but wow we can raise the roof so I tend to go quiet when things get nasty.So having a large amount of friends is not for me although I have 'friends' that I see a few times a year and that works too.
I have several close friends. They all live in different states. One I met through a tv show's fandom, and we did visit in person. One I've known for years but haven't actually *seen* for years either. In fandom, I know very many people, but I wouldn't call them 'friends'.
I'm a confirmed introvert/loner and I'm perfectly happy to enjoy the company of my computer, dogs, cats and friends I talk to on the phone. I hear a lot of 'you don't go out much', or did in California. I'd have to want to.
The things which distinguish my friends over the general run is we get each other and while we may not agree on everything, don't think its necessary to 'improve' the other. Loners *often* get this, lets go out, come on over (expecting a recroprical visit) and what non-loners don't get is that some of us are fine with things as they are, and appreciate company when desired but run away from it when not.
Friendships take up a lot of time and energy, and who's got time for that today, as we're all trying, every which way, to keep our heads above water?
And, today, what good are even close friends today if you lose your job, and are standing at the door of homelessness? My budget is so strained today, and if a close friend was suddenly thrown overboard, down to his last nickel, what can you do, when it could happen to you tomorrow?
My friend tells me: You can't have enough friends! Well, given how she lives so dangerously close to the edge, every single day, there's a woman who needs lots and lots of friends as her day of reckoning is coming, and perhaps one of those friends will throw her a life raft! But I have no life raft to throw at her! Not even a warm jacket!
If my ship sinks some day, being I all but hyperventilate when asking anyone for help, I sink! And friends/family will all huddle at my casket wondering: Why didn't he ask me for help? Too proud! Too proud!
I had lots of "friends" in high school, but kept about 5 close to me. Now, I don't speak to none of these people.
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