U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
Old 05-15-2012, 09:15 PM
Location: Montgomery County, MD
3,240 posts, read 3,284,128 times
Reputation: 3010


By that, I don't mean your spouse and kids but your parents and extended family. How often do you see them/visit/call? Do you enjoy visiting them? I generally avoid them as much as possible but my mother calls and nags me to death if I skip holidays like Xmas or Mother's Day so I occasionally get roped into these things but I generally avoid them if I can.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

Old 05-15-2012, 10:25 PM
5,702 posts, read 16,177,858 times
Reputation: 8570
Yes, I have learned over the years it helps me keep my sanity. I now live a few hundred miles away so that helps but occasionally I will ignore a phone call if I am not in the mood. I love my family but they have a lot of problems that they want to discuss for hours on end. If I don't give them that amount of time they get testy. My mother and siblings have type A personalities and are extremely needy on top of it. They also have lots of drama in their lives, poor relationships, bad marriages, job problems and so on. Most of it is due to how they treat others and still haven't figured that out yet. So ya...sometimes I need to let the phone just ring.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-15-2012, 11:56 PM
Location: The New England part of Ohio
18,633 posts, read 23,219,501 times
Reputation: 48739
I do avoid my family of origin. Actually, I moved to another state in part to get away from them but they still track me down.

There are certain members of my extended family who I see, but all of them at once no, and some of them never.

And I don't care about the thickness of blood as opposed to water either.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-16-2012, 03:04 AM
Location: Tucson/Nogales
17,370 posts, read 21,213,499 times
Reputation: 24195
Most of my roommates, over time, have become family to me. One has been with me 13 years now, best family member I've ever had. In fact, I'm even going to will my house to him some day, which will sure to anger my extended family 1600 miles away!

I'm a firm believer in spending high quality time with a family member, even though you only do it once in a lifetime. My trips with my brother have meant more to both of us than merely seeing him at a repeated family reunions or Xmas gatherings.

I hardly ever see my niece, and I'm considering flying her out here for a once-in-a-liftime trip around the SW, something she'll long remember, rather than brief exchanges with the rest of the family present.

After my mother and father died I announced to everyone, even my beloved brother, I will not go thru the expense of flying back home for no more funerals or weddings! Disown me? Would you be that kind?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-16-2012, 02:26 PM
Location: Virginia Beach, VA
5,517 posts, read 9,010,869 times
Reputation: 2542
I used to live about 1.5 miles from my Mom, and saw her maybe 5 or 6 times a year.

Its not just her though, I generally just dont like being around anyone outside of my wife and cats, and will usually only do anything if its an absolute must (graduations, weddings, sometimes birthdays, Christmas).

I just prefer being at home and nobody bothering me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-16-2012, 03:08 PM
Location: Mississippi
439 posts, read 818,592 times
Reputation: 468
I talk to my parents once or twice a week in general, and visit every month. They live a couple of hours away. I love them and they are not dysfunctional or annoying (usually, hehe). My inlaws live closer than my parents do, so we eat lunch with them on Saturdays. Mother in law calls the husband every other day sometimes, which I think is a little much, but oh well. She just loves calling people. She calls her neices and nephews, parents and siblings at least that often too.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-16-2012, 03:18 PM
Location: Where the mountains touch the sky
4,910 posts, read 5,794,767 times
Reputation: 8282
Family dynamics are tricky things, my sister and I can barely stay in the same room at the same time, but we have to see each other at family functions, so we just avoid each other rather than aggrivate the situation.

I talk to my parents at least once a week, and while they live 2 1/2 hours away, I make the trip at least twice a month during good weather, once a month during bad weather in the winter. They are getting older, my mother has Parkinsons, so the time I can spend with them is limited by nature and I plan to spend as much time with them as I can.

My brother and I get along pretty well, and he and his family live on the same ranch as my parents and they have a family dinner at least once a week, so I see them when I am at my parents place. His sons are still very young, and a lot of fun for me as I can teach them all sorts of mean things that they will take home and drive their folks nuts with

There was a time when I did my level best to distance myself from my family, including joining the Navy so I spent years away from home, but what that taught me was that family is precious, so enjoy it while you have it, nobody lives forever and the time I have spent with my parents in the last few years is precious beyond price.

My wife is not close to her family, and her mother lives in another state so they haven't seen each other in years, but through the marvel of modern communications, in the last year they have reconnected, and both are much happier because of it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-16-2012, 04:55 PM
1,062 posts, read 1,345,309 times
Reputation: 1059
Since College and the Military I have seen my family (Father once in 6 years), we generally speak Sunday's unless the Marine Corps has us training or off to a foreign land.
Through retrospect I should have gone home often especially with my profession.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-16-2012, 04:57 PM
Location: Nebraska
4,178 posts, read 9,411,632 times
Reputation: 9552
Do you generally avoid your family?

Like the plague.

DH's and my family are almost all shiftless, drama queens/kings, whiners, and troublemakers, prison inmates or convicted criminals, or entitlement mavens who think that everything we worked for, we owe them. We moved 1700 miles to the middle of nowhere to get away from them. The only ones who come to visit have to PLAN to visit, and give us at least a week's warning. So far, it's been one brother and one niece, as well as one (adult) child. And we are quite content for the others to think that we are too far away to bother with!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-16-2012, 05:11 PM
738 posts, read 967,720 times
Reputation: 996
I don't think I know anyone that doesn't see their family. I am glad I don't have a family like the ones described in these posts.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.

Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top