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Old 05-26-2012, 07:50 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,114 posts, read 107,301,106 times
Reputation: 115931

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Faithhiee View Post
Im 17 years old, il be 18 in march (9/10 months from now) but i don't think i can stay at home any longer.. i messed up a few weeks ago, got caught up and did some stupid things that i regret and have tried my hardest to apologize for. no body in my household will have anything to do with me. ive had most of my brothers and sisters tell me that i would be better off gone. and i had my mom tell me i was a **** up that I didn't deserve anything.. and my family has basically dis owned me. its really sad. the only person that is talking to me a tall would be my sister who is 23 and living on her own. she told me i could move in with her asap. and i would really like to, but i feel that my mom would disapprove. only because she hates my sister and refuses to let me have anything to do with her, even though she is all i have. Is their any possible way that i can move in with her? im just looking to get out of a rough situation.. i bought my own car. i pay my own insurance and phone bills. i pay rent for my "home" already. i have a job. and i have money saved up. all i want to do is get the hell out of here before it gets worse.
I'd say you're lucky to have your sister, and if she's ok, if she's not getting into trouble or anything, then go stay with her. Your mom should be aware that she drove you out of the house by her behavior toward you.

It's not unusual for people to leave home at 17. Some college students are 17 when they start college. Good luck. Best wishes.
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Old 05-26-2012, 08:09 PM
 
Location: earth?
7,284 posts, read 12,896,563 times
Reputation: 8956
Just concentrate on your goals and try to fly under the radar . . .and don't take things personally. Try to see the good in people - including your siblings and your mom. Try doing something nice for them - cook them a dinner or do something out of character - don't be a pain in the ass . . .Do your best every day and see if you can turn things around.
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Old 05-27-2012, 07:55 AM
 
Location: Anchorage
4,061 posts, read 9,858,817 times
Reputation: 2350
All this for weed? Sounds like a major overreaction on the part of your family. Makes me wonder why it is such a big deal with your mom. Did she or friends have a major problem in their youth related to drugs? I'm sorry you are going through this.
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Old 05-27-2012, 08:41 AM
 
26,142 posts, read 31,129,777 times
Reputation: 27235
The way I see it, if you are feeling so emotionally tortured and WANT to leave and are financially able to then do it and do it now. I seriously doubt your mother would even know what to do about it. She could report you as a runaway - but the police would put you at the bottom of their list. To go the emancipation route would not even occur to your mother and would take longer than 9 months. As long as your sister does not take you over State lines - doing so would be considered kidnapping. What's the worst that could happen - your mother get mad at you and disown you - she's already done that so you've got nothing to lose. I, myself, graduated early from high school and remember all to well the night I'd had enough and got up from the dinner table and said nothing and walked out. I never went back. I still have a relationship with my mother and despite a number of attempts I have not spoke to my dad is years and years and there's no love lost there. I did what I needed to do. The situation was just too toxic to deal with anymore.
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Old 05-27-2012, 09:51 AM
 
6,497 posts, read 11,789,089 times
Reputation: 11123
Quote:
Originally Posted by gobrien View Post
All this for weed? Sounds like a major overreaction on the part of your family. Makes me wonder why it is such a big deal with your mom. Did she or friends have a major problem in their youth related to drugs? I'm sorry you are going through this.
I agree. I thought it might have something like finding a makeshift meth lab in the garage or something. Pot? They should have grounded her, not kicked her out.
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Old 05-27-2012, 11:33 AM
 
Location: Arizona
1,204 posts, read 2,522,147 times
Reputation: 1551
Quote:
Originally Posted by gobrien View Post
All this for weed? Sounds like a major overreaction on the part of your family. Makes me wonder why it is such a big deal with your mom. Did she or friends have a major problem in their youth related to drugs? I'm sorry you are going through this.
I was thinking the same thing. I thought she might have gotten herself pregnant or was into really hard drugs for a long period of time.

You sound like a very mature 17 year old and it also seems that you have your goals straight. I would consentrate on achieving your goals and moving on with your life. Maybe one day your family will come around, maybe they won't, you need to take care of you now.

I find it foolish that your whole family has disowned you over one stupid mistake. I'm sure glad my parents never did, and I did a whole lot worse than you.

Good luck
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Old 05-27-2012, 12:08 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,415 posts, read 34,593,681 times
Reputation: 73524
I'm so sorry. You sound like you have a very good head on your shoulders, despite what you did.

I honestly don't feel the punishment fit the crime at ALL.

I was legally emancipated right after my 16th birthday. It can be hard to be on your own when young, but it definitely can be done.

Definitely talk to a counselor at school.... there may be some gov't programs that can help.
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Old 05-27-2012, 05:02 PM
 
Location: Portlandia "burbs"
10,229 posts, read 16,261,758 times
Reputation: 26005
I'm going to be one of the less sympathetic ones here.

I remember making my mother so damn angry that she didn't speak to me for weeks. But she eventually got over that and things went back to normal (although I didn't grow up in a normal family). Are you being sexually or physically abused? If not then you're in a much better situation than other kids who felt the need to leave and are living on the streets. Besides, in due time things may improve on the homefront while your family rebuilds trust.

I think you need to do the best you can to suck it up and wait until you hit 18. Because, for everyone concerned ~ your family as well as yourself ~ leaving home on legal grounds is a helluva lot easier than trying to emancipate yourself now. Living with your sister may not be the answer, either.

For the record, emancipation does NOT mean that your parents are absolved of their legal obligations; it simply means that you've been granted to live on your own. Therefore, you are still "tied" to them as a minor. It is best to wait until you are no longer legally bound to them.
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Old 05-27-2012, 05:50 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,415 posts, read 34,593,681 times
Reputation: 73524
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluesmama View Post

For the record, emancipation does NOT mean that your parents are absolved of their legal obligations; it simply means that you've been granted to live on your own. Therefore, you are still "tied" to them as a minor. It is best to wait until you are no longer legally bound to them.
I'm pretty sure it does. At 16 I was able to legally enter into contracts, and was legally responsible for fulfilling them. My had no legal rights or obligations.

Wikipedia:



An emancipated minor is a minor who is allowed to conduct a business or any other occupation on his or her own behalf or for their own account outside the influence of a parent or guardian. The minor will then have full contractual capacity to conclude contract with regard to the business. Whether parental consent is needed to achieve the "emancipated" status varies from case to case. In some cases, court permission is necessary. Protocols vary by jurisdiction.
Emancipation of minors is a legal mechanism by which a minor is freed from control by his or her parents or guardians, and the parents or guardians are freed from any and all responsibility toward the child. Until an emancipation is granted by a court, a minor is still subject to the rules of their parents or guardians.
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Old 05-27-2012, 06:37 PM
 
Location: Portlandia "burbs"
10,229 posts, read 16,261,758 times
Reputation: 26005
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
I'm pretty sure it does. At 16 I was able to legally enter into contracts, and was legally responsible for fulfilling them. My had no legal rights or obligations.

Wikipedia:



An emancipated minor is a minor who is allowed to conduct a business or any other occupation on his or her own behalf or for their own account outside the influence of a parent or guardian. The minor will then have full contractual capacity to conclude contract with regard to the business. Whether parental consent is needed to achieve the "emancipated" status varies from case to case. In some cases, court permission is necessary. Protocols vary by jurisdiction.
Emancipation of minors is a legal mechanism by which a minor is freed from control by his or her parents or guardians, and the parents or guardians are freed from any and all responsibility toward the child. Until an emancipation is granted by a court, a minor is still subject to the rules of their parents or guardians.

Yes, but if an emancipated minor does something "wrong" then the parents could still be held responsible. Now, perhaps those laws differ a bit per state (and I suspected this as I wrote the first email). I wish I could remember details, but this girl I once knew, who was emancipated, got her parents into hot water for something SHE did. Seems they were sued (god, I wish I could remember).

Anyway, emancipation isn't the answer for all of them because it's difficult to support oneself, which I assume most do. How did you do it? Did you branch on your own? Move in with someone?
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