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My Mom passed away 2 years ago and my Aunt, who lives locally, is wacky and runs hot and cold at times. I am friendly with my friend's step Aunt (they have no relationship at all) who is old enough to be my mother - about 24 years older than me. I could tell when we met that she really took a liking to me. She would make comments to others in front of me like "she should/could be my daughter" a few times. Was that not right for her to say with my Mom being gone? She has even said to me "are you sure we're not related?" I think she wishes I was her daughter in a way...lol. We have bonded and get together for dinner.
It is nice to have her, even though I am an adult, it's nice to have someone older to talk to other than my friends in my age group. She stated in an email that I "am a wonderful young woman". I told her that she is my "adopted" favorite aunt! I didn't want to say she's a mom to me, cuz my mother can't really be replaced, and I didn't wanr to be disprectful to my deceased mother. Her family is quite dysfunctional, so we kinda made our own family! I guess no matter how old we are, we still need a mother or aunt in our lives!
I a nice thing to find. I have a fake son in his mid 20's myself..haha. Even though I'm still here I like knowing my own adult kids have older people in their lives that aren't family (usually people they meet at work) because it brings a whole new perspective to their lives and something other than the stuff they get from their peer group. I would hope they could form strong bonds with someone else if I wasn't here too.
It sounds wonderful to me. A much older second cousin "found" me online a few years after I'd lost my parents. I went to see her when I visited her state (several states away from my own home) and found she was the very image of my grandmother, who died when I was twelve - my grandmother was my newfound cousin's great aunt. My cousin proved to be delightful - witty and warm - and a wonderful connection began that lasted until she died at 96. I still communicate with two of her grown children, both of whom have been guests in my home, as was their mother.
Count your blessings - and don't forget, such mutual blessings run both ways.
I love that concept of making or choosing your own family.. as someone who is also from a dysfunctional family I don't know why it doesn't happen more often and certainly wish it would.
I hope it lasts for you. Just remember no relationship is without some sort of struggle and that tiffs or fights don't have to be forever. Don't be afraid to communicate, speak up. Take it from someone who has let too many people slip away.
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