Sister-in-law Wants to Wash/Dry Family Laundry Before Going Home (bitterness, person)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I visit my sister in Florida and she visits me here in PA as well. We both do our dirty laundry at each other's house before going home. She offers and I offer as well. I don't see the big deal in all this EXCEPT--the washing of only one pair of jeans. Now that I would be angry about and tell her she couldn't do that.
That is the entire point --Your sister offers to let you do your laundry. You don't just settle in her laundry room on the last day of vacation and spend eight hours doing laundry for five people. She OFFERS the opportunity to you.
And, also you offer and she does laundry at your house.
If I read it correctly the OP never offered to her SIL to do laundry. OP also said that she doesn't know anyone else who does their dirty laundry before they go home, so obviously she doesn't do it at SIL's house..
When we (two adults and two children) visited my in-laws in Florida we usually took all of our dirty clothes to a laundramat once or twice during our visit. Since my in-laws had a small washer & dryer the laundry for four people would have taken all day to do. At a laundramat you could do every load at the same time, dry them at the same time and be done in an hour and a half. In addition we knew that it would increase their water bill & electric bill if we did all the laundry at their house.
We took the dirty clothes home with us at the end of our vacation (if you are paying out all those quarters to wash & dry the clothes you will wait until you get home to do those clothes).
I never felt that my in-laws was rude or mean to ask us to do our laundry someplace else.
If I was on a very limited budget I would be annoyed if someone took advantage of my good nature. At the very least the visitor should pay for all of the detergent and leave some money to pay for the extra electricity.
BINGO! If they said, "no, please you are welcome to do it here" then you decide if you feel like sitting there all day and if so, you at least buy them a meal. I would much rather get it all done in an hour than waste a whole day. Hmm...I might just do that at home if the loads are out of control!
Quote:
Originally Posted by JanND
I totally agree. and from all the snarky comments there are a few that share this penchant for petty behavior. I can't help but wonder why a person doesn't just NOT invite people if they are annoyed to this degree by "laundry".
I would certainly rather not be invited, than be invited and discussed and demeaned on a public forum. Talk about Rude.
Awww, man! Isn't that what CD is all about??? You mean I shouldn't come here and bash/vent about my family and friends? Hmmm, I am seriously going to have to reconsider this forum then.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zpatz
I have also been entertained. NEVER did I expect this much interest and response. And certainly never expected such vehement feelings.
For most of my life, I did very well. But illness has me underwater right now. Should I emerge the victor, I will remember what I read here because it is sad to see how many people have little sympathy for those who may be down on their luck. How amazing that a visitor's desire/preference to not travel with dirty clothes should override the needs of the host to pay basic bills and keep the utilities on. How could this make the host insensitive?
Quite a read indeed.
Clarity, please, if you would: Does the guest know that you are financially in a bind? Or do you kind of diminish that to avoid embarrassment? Also, what did you mean that the SIL did this "all her life"? Have you known her that long to know that or is that an exaggeration? If you have known it and it always annoys you, then I have to say that is on you. You should have diplomatically mentioned it to SIL or spouse or both. Otherwise, if she has done it all along and you have said nothing, she most likely thinks it is not a problem. (even though I think it is rude to do laundry for that many people all day and unnecessary) How is the rest of the visit? Are they gracious? Do they do and pay their fair share around the place? Do they at least pick up a meal or two for you? Let's face it, one person taking on five is a little different than the reverse. (then again, I don't know if you have your own brood there too)
Quote:
Originally Posted by thebunny
Personally, and I admit I am a bit of a clean freak...I HATE the idea of dirth clothes sitting in the luggage where my clean clothes will go on the next trip. As such, I always wash what I can before I put it back in the luggage as to me, that is kind of like putting dirty clothes in the drawers where you put the clean stuff.
But I do admit it is probably just me.
They make canvas laundry bags for that reason and in the SIL's case with the crowd, she could easily do a load so that she has clean clothing for to go home in and maybe for the first day and then put the the dirties in the laundry bag in one luggage and the cleans in the other luggage as I am assuming there is more than one luggage. That way all the luggage stays crystal clean! Easy peasy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by _redbird_
LOL!!!! OMG! I love this thread!
May your dryer eat one of their socks! THAT should teach those horrid people!
This thread wins the "Tragicomedy Thread of the Year" award. Give me a break. I wonder if Jerry Springer would take on the OP and the SIL?!!
<starts chanting, JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!>
Leave it to redbird to bring some REAL humor to the laundry table!!! Great idea as we all know Jerry LOVES to air people's dirty laundry!!!
I visit my sister in Florida and she visits me here in PA as well. We both do our dirty laundry at each other's house before going home. She offers and I offer as well. I don't see the big deal in all this EXCEPT--the washing of only one pair of jeans. Now that I would be angry about and tell her she couldn't do that.
That's YOU! It says nothing to the comfort level of the OP, who sounded legitimately used and tired of the sister in law's entitled behavior.
As far as "crying and moaning to complete strangers" ( or whatever your exact words) - this is a forum about where relationships where complete strangers may offer advice.to other strangers. (and some of up become friends)
Not everyone's comfortable with their extended family. Some times we all need a bit of unbiased advice.
DAMMMIT! I just spilled beer all over my pants can I come overrrrr!!!!!?!?!?!??!?!
Quote:
Originally Posted by kimba01
BINGO! If they said, "no, please you are welcome to do it here" then you decide if you feel like sitting there all day and if so, you at least buy them a meal. I would much rather get it all done in an hour than waste a whole day. Hmm...I might just do that at home if the loads are out of control!
Awww, man! Isn't that what CD is all about??? You mean I shouldn't come here and bash/vent about my family and friends? Hmmm, I am seriously going to have to reconsider this forum then.
Clarity, please, if you would: Does the guest know that you are financially in a bind? Or do you kind of diminish that to avoid embarrassment? Also, what did you mean that the SIL did this "all her life"? Have you known her that long to know that or is that an exaggeration? If you have known it and it always annoys you, then I have to say that is on you. You should have diplomatically mentioned it to SIL or spouse or both. Otherwise, if she has done it all along and you have said nothing, she most likely thinks it is not a problem. (even though I think it is rude to do laundry for that many people all day and unnecessary) How is the rest of the visit? Are they gracious? Do they do and pay their fair share around the place? Do they at least pick up a meal or two for you? Let's face it, one person taking on five is a little different than the reverse. (then again, I don't know if you have your own brood there too)
They make canvas laundry bags for that reason and in the SIL's case with the crowd, she could easily do a load so that she has clean clothing for to go home in and maybe for the first day and then put the the dirties in the laundry bag in one luggage and the cleans in the other luggage as I am assuming there is more than one luggage. That way all the luggage stays crystal clean! Easy peasy.
Leave it to redbird to bring some REAL humor to the laundry table!!! Great idea as we all know Jerry LOVES to air people's dirty laundry!!!
Why should the guest have to know that? It is rude even if he isn't in a financial bind.
Someone up-thread mentioned being a little OCD and not liking to pack dirty clothes in the same suitcase that her clean clothes will be in next time. I don't like the idea either. I'm a bit germ-phobic, but I do it anyway, because I am a thoughtful house guest.
2)I occasionally visit a sibling out of state. More often than not I stay in a hotel. I've made the effort to visit her far more times than she's visited me. Gas isn't cheap(nor are other forms of travel). Does OP say how far they travel. I'd find it frustrating making the effort to see her, if she begrudged me doing a few loads of laundry.
Why should the guest have to know that? It is rude even if he isn't in a financial bind.
Someone up-thread mentioned being a little OCD and not liking to pack dirty clothes in the same suitcase that her clean clothes will be in next time. I don't like the idea either. I'm a bit germ-phobic, but I do it anyway, because I am a thoughtful house guest.
Just a question, that's all. I am not saying they HAVE to know it, they may not, just trying to shed some light on why someone might not be sensitive to the other. If the SIL is the type who would never be bothered by a brood doing their laundry at her home, then maybe she wouldn't think it would bother someone else. Now, if she knew that it did, for financial or other reasons, she might be less inclined to do it and may actually feel horrible that she was. Also, I do think, regardless of how anyone else may think, that if this has gone on forever, it is obvious the OP should have let one of them know. Many people will continue to feel like doormats unless they speak up. People are not mind readers and we all have different ways of life, obviously you can clearly see that from this thread and any other one on CD, what is rude to one is not at all rude to another. Like it or not. The only one completely bothered by this is the OP, unfortunately, and she/he should be the one to say something or suck it up.
While I am not a germophobe, I would still put dirty laundry in a separate sack from the clean, common sense to me. Then I would probably wash all of it anyway when I got home.
FWIW, I would NEVER do my laundry at someone's home unless it was offered AND I needed it. If I needed it and it wasn't offered, off to the laundromat I would go.
Clarity, please, if you would: Does the guest know that you are financially in a bind? Or do you kind of diminish that to avoid embarrassment? Also, what did you mean that the SIL did this "all her life"? Have you known her that long to know that or is that an exaggeration? If you have known it and it always annoys you, then I have to say that is on you. You should have diplomatically mentioned it to SIL or spouse or both. Otherwise, if she has done it all along and you have said nothing, she most likely thinks it is not a problem. (even though I think it is rude to do laundry for that many people all day and unnecessary) How is the rest of the visit? Are they gracious? Do they do and pay their fair share around the place? Do they at least pick up a meal or two for you? Let's face it, one person taking on five is a little different than the reverse. (then again, I don't know if you have your own brood there too)
FYI, we lived in the same area for many many years and there were no overnight stays. They have now moved.
For the most part, no one needs to "tell me" they are having real financial problems when their situation is "in your face.". If I know someone is unemployed and sick, I don't need neon signs to tell me I should respect their situation. It's just that simple.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
THAT should teach those horrid people! 
I wonder if Jerry Springer would take on the OP and the SIL?!!
If they said, "no, please you are welcome to do it here" then you decide if you feel like sitting there all day and if so, you at least buy them a meal. I would much rather get it all done in an hour than waste a whole day. Hmm...I might just do that at home if the loads are out of control!
) 
