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If the OP has never said anything how does the SIL know she is being rude? Many people have stated they don't mind having someone do their laundry before they leave. Personally I like to do that as well, coming home with clean clothes makes packing SO much easier.
Unless you tell her, she isn't doing anything wrong in her mind. If you sit her down and say "Hey money is tight right now, and you doing the laundry is a bit much for my budget".
I would default to she doesn't do ANY laundry until she asks of something is said, and then how much. If she is told go ahead when you need then go for it. But one load is one load. The OP does NOT have to explain about money unless she chooses. If they were being fed on her dime while they were there and didn't offer to pick up the groceries part of the time then they should go to the laudramat.
People should not have to divulge personal information to tell someone they can't do a days worth of laundry. Just saying 'one load' is sufficent. Bottom line, it isn't their house or bills.
I agree it's rude. My ex-SIL and BIL used to visit with four children. They only lived 3 hours away so would often come up for a family picnic, etc.
Before leaving to go home, she would insist on bathing all 4 children separately and ask for two towels per child. I had no washer/dryer (which always kinda teed her off because she couldn't do laundry at my house before returning home).
It infuriated me and I informed her I only had a few towels (me and the ex), and that her visit left me with no towels until next weekly trip to laundromat.
Later the other people in the family thanked me for standing up and putting an end to this ridiculous and rude habit.
Unless all four children got dirty cleaning cow manure from your barn I can't imagine ANY REASON at all for them to take baths before they drove home.
If the children fell asleep in the car and went right into bed when they got home, big deal (saracastic), if they didn't get their nightly bath.
And making you wash all those extra towels, at a laundromat! What rotten guests!
My brother and sister in law stayed with us for several days at Christmas time last year. I showed them how to use the washer and dryer and gave them free access. They used them at least a couple of times while they were here. No big deal.
No big deal ... TO YOU. Yes, you ARE being very polite, but obviously you can afford to be. Not to mention that you were dealing with two guests, not five, and one visit, not regular, on-going visits. The OP stated, "My funds are really low now and my utility bills are through the roof. I barely ever use my own dryer."
Unfortunately, not all of us have your resources. If I had adequate money, I'd be doing laundry for the homeless, let alone my own houseguests, but I do not. There are millions in this country today who are in dire financial straits, even many who never before had any financial difficulties. I don't know about you, but there is not a single adult in my extended family who has more money than they had five years ago. Even if their salaries are the same, their money doesn't go as far or they are helping out other family members (often their own adult children) who have difficulties.
Is it really too much to ask that we acknowledge and respect each others limitations, rather than assume, "If I can do it, they can, too"?
Be upfront w/ the next group and offer to check on hotels and rental cars for them while they stay. Then don't offer meals. They should get the hint.
If you really don't want to be burdened then say so, otherwsie how are they supposed to know.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jukesgrrl
I agree with the OP. I think it's rude for guests, even if they are relatives, to help themselves to a host's resources, when it's not totally necessary to them, if the host CAN'T AFFORD IT and especially if the use wasn't invited. I'm sure that hosting an entire family of five for multiple days is financially stressful in other ways. Are they at your house often? Do you visit them on a similar schedule?
I care for my elderly mother in my home, which is a lot of work in and of itself. It sometimes upsets me that she often has house guests (sometimes for a week), people who would never be visiting me if she wasn't here, and I have to get their rooms ready, cook their meals, chauffeur them if they have flown here, and then wash their linens, re-make the beds, and clean the house after they leave. Most of them commandeer the TV, the kids mess around with my computers, etc. I have one brother who gives me money to cover the cost of his family's meals and puts gas in my car if he borrows it; I truly appreciate that because he is much better off financially than I am. But he's the only house guest I've had who has thought about the fact that their visit doubled my grocery bill.
So few people today seem to know the proper etiquette of being a guest.
When I open my house I don't have too many strings, it's pretty much open.
Sorry OP, I think this is silly. I can't imagine being close enough to have someone stay with you but not close enough to let them clean their clothing. Weird. If it's REALLY a matter of money, and I don't think it is, don't have houseguests and direct everyone to the nearest motel.
I totally agree. and from all the snarky comments there are a few that share this penchant for petty behavior. I can't help but wonder why a person doesn't just NOT invite people if they are annoyed to this degree by "laundry".
I would certainly rather not be invited, than be invited and discussed and demeaned on a public forum. Talk about Rude.
Even if we stay only a few days, or my sister inlaw and brother stay only a few days with us,
some laundry is done. It doesn't matter how much or little. I never was so poor that I would
begrudge the washing and drying of clothes by anyone visiting...just my opinion.
Family or guests have never stayed so long that it would bother me that they use water, shampoo,
body wash, toothpaste, towels, flush the toilet, eat our food (usually they buy for us or take us out too).
Some apparently take advantage of others, that is unfair...
Just tell them. Be upfront, be concise and tell them you cannot afford visitors.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jukesgrrl
No big deal ... TO YOU. Yes, you ARE being very polite, but obviously you can afford to be. Not to mention that you were dealing with two guests, not five, and one visit, not regular, on-going visits. The OP stated, "My funds are really low now and my utility bills are through the roof. I barely ever use my own dryer."
Unfortunately, not all of us have your resources. If I had adequate money, I'd be doing laundry for the homeless, let alone my own houseguests, but I do not. There are millions in this country today who are in dire financial straits, even many who never before had any financial difficulties. I don't know about you, but there is not a single adult in my extended family who has more money than they had five years ago. Even if their salaries are the same, their money doesn't go as far or they are helping out other family members (often their own adult children) who have difficulties.
Is it really too much to ask that we acknowledge and respect each others limitations, rather than assume, "If I can do it, they can, too"?
Be upfront w/ the next group and offer to check on hotels and rental cars for them while they stay. Then don't offer meals. They should get the hint.
If you really don't want to be burdened then say so, otherwsie how are they supposed to know.
People should have some common sense and some common courtesy. Doing one load of laundry so you don't have to go home in dirty underwear is understandable. Keeping the washer and dryer going all day long is inconveniencing the host so that the guest doesn't have to be inconvenienced when she gets home. It is selfish and inconsiderate. No one would need to tell me that. I just know.
I totally agree. and from all the snarky comments there are a few that share this penchant for petty behavior. I can't help but wonder why a person doesn't just NOT invite people if they are annoyed to this degree by "laundry".
I would certainly rather not be invited, than be invited and discussed and demeaned on a public forum. Talk about Rude.
Oh who cares. No one knows who these people are. Maybe the OP doesn't want to completely give up visiting with family, but wants the guests to be a little more considerate.
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