How would you deal with this JERK neighbor? (wife, spouse, female)
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Say you have a neighbor who is a real JERK! The real braggart type who always wants to be center of attention. Say this neighbor stares you down when you are outside even when you say "hello" and have tried to be neighborly, talks crap behind your back and out loud so you can hear it and you find trash on your lawn that was never there before.
Say you ignored it LONG enough and finally confronted them face to face and they say they don't have a problem with you and you both shake on it and let it go.
Now, what would you do if they start it up ALL OVER AGAIN even after you shake on it? You hear them talk crap about you and say they aren't afraid of you and you are a b**** even though they had nothing to say face to face.
What would you seriously do? Confront them again? Beat them up and go to jail? Ignore them? Moving isn't an option at this time.
I live next to a real A-hole and went over there about their dog yapping in the middle of the night outside in the rain for 20 minutes. Then they did it again and put the dog in the garage in a cage left the door open so it was like an echo chamber right outside my bedroom window. After several hours of this I went over there mad as hell and I got this, "We had company." I said, "I don't care." Then he went to open the door and I know as sure as the sun shines he would have hit me and I'm a woman. His wife stopped him from opening the storm door so he yells, "It's not our dog and get off my porch." My course of action was to write him a letter explaining while I have my own dogs there is some common courtesy that should be extended to caring for your pets so they are not burdens to others. The other thing I asked was "Get off my porch?" Well, better me than the police.
I have now simply taken to working on the other side of the house and backyard when he's home and outside mowing or something and work in the front and the other side when he's not around. It's really the best solution otherwise someone was going to jump that picket fence.
If it bothers you to that degree then write him a letter and ask him what issue he seems to have with you and you have to live next to one another for a few years and would like it to be a pleasant experience for the both of you.
No, a letter is useless...You are neither one dealing w/ rational people. Normal people don't behave the way you describe. I would at great length ignore my neighbor, or call the police. Do not confront these nut cases on your own. To do so is at your own peril....especially the female poster. Since this man already physically threatened you, please be aware at all times that he is probably somewhat of a danger to you. Seriously, no one treats people this way...not normal neighbors who have a vested interest in maintaining a sense of peace w/ their neighbors. If either of these folks are renters I would find out who their Landlords are, and call the police w/ any problems, and the LL to tell them you had to call the police. But, again, never confront someone that you have already identified as nuts...which imo they both are.
Fences make better neighbors....a white noise machine may help...or a stop barking tech device re: barking dog. And, the good old fashioned way of dealing w/ this kind of BS...invite the largest guys you know over for an outside bar-b-que....let these folks see that you have some backup. Usually the sneaky jerks like you both have for neighbors are all talk...but it doesn't hurt for them to know if they mess w/ you they will have some others to answer too. Good luck
Are you a man or a woman? How long do you plan on living there? Do you own or rent? Do you live alone? Do you know if he owns or rents?
First I would stop being cordial. Not only does he not deserve it, it's a waste of time. Just be level headed and don't act like you are afraid of him. He is playing games and has already denied doing anything to you or having a problem with you. If he does something in front of you, address right then and there, don't confront. You can't stop him from saying things behind your back.
If you own a house I would get a camera to catch who the culprit is that has been dumping garbage (him). The camera may also record some of the trash talking in case things get worse. If you can't afford a camera get a dummy camera, it might act as a deterrent. Keep record of anything that he does to you.
If you feel like you might be in physical danger, get a dog if you don't already have one and call the cops if you need to. If he is a renter contact the landlord. Is there an HOA?
Last edited by Kaffegal05; 05-27-2012 at 05:21 PM..
Your neighbor sounds like a saint compared to some I have had who incessantly complained about me mowing my lawn too much, another who sued me and one who killed two thirty year old trees in my front yard simply because he didn't my politics.
Solution? I now have twenty acres surrounded by sections and sections of farm land. My nearest neighbor is now nearly 3/4 of a mile from me and luckily he is a conservative and stays out of my business.
I've had good neighbors as well but the really few bad ones I have had to live next door to tell me that sinking several hundred thousand dollars into a city or suburban home and hoping that the human-like creatures next door are actually humans is a really bad idea.
And, the good old fashioned way of dealing w/ this kind of BS...invite the largest guys you know over for an outside bar-b-que....let these folks see that you have some backup.
I like this idea. I might have a BBQ once a month, during the summer months just to drive the message home.
I would assume that I am correct, and that others in the neighborhood already know what he is like.
I would wave if I could not avoid him, and otherwise ignore him.
Say you have a neighbor who is a real JERK! The real braggart type who always wants to be center of attention. Say this neighbor stares you down when you are outside even when you say "hello" and have tried to be neighborly, talks crap behind your back and out loud so you can hear it and you find trash on your lawn that was never there before.
*Say you ignored it LONG enough and finally confronted them face to face and they say they don't have a problem with you and you both shake on it and let it go.
Now, what would you do if they start it up ALL OVER AGAIN even after you shake on it? You hear them talk crap about you and say they aren't afraid of you and you are a b**** even though they had nothing to say face to face.
What would you seriously do? Confront them again? Beat them up and go to jail? Ignore them? Moving isn't an option at this time.
*Bold mine for emphasis.
A warning to anyone who cares. My friend went through a somewhat similar incident. The "bad" neighbor was very kind and said about the same thing your neighbor did..he was sweet as pudding.
Now think, Smart Phones. Most, I understand have recorders. In my state, NC it is a one party rule, meaning only one person part of the conversation has to know they are recording something.
Long story..short. My friend received a summons for "Civil No Contact Order" and the "bad" neighbor won because of the recording. On a brighter note, the "bad" neighbor was seen keying my friend and her husband's car a few months later and that changed everything.
Words can't hurt you...unless you let them...don't....and don't worry about what he says behind your back either....it'll only make HIM sound bad...not you...if you find trash again...gather it up...wait for dark...and throw it back.
Get a camera for your yard. If you catch him throwing trash there, you can have the police issue a citation for it. If he comes onto your property to do it, you can get him for trespassing.
The rest, can you put in some high hedges or something, so you don't have to look him, and he can't see into your yard?
Remember that it's miserable creatures with no sense of purpose to their existence who harass others. Something in his life is probably amiss, and something about you is reminding him of it. Maybe you're happy with your spouse or partner and he's fighting with his or doesn't have one. Maybe he sees you going to work every day and he's been laid off. Maybe he's just a loser with nothing fulfilling going on in his life, so he is focusing on you.
Sooner or later he will screw up and do something illegal, though, like come onto your property with the trash, and then you can get him in trouble.
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