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Old 06-04-2012, 05:43 AM
 
Location: Richardson, TX
14,707 posts, read 12,026,287 times
Reputation: 11194
Default My cousin is a jerk

I wasn't sure where else to post this, but I just have to get this off my chest and see if others agree.

I think my cousin is a jerk. A bona-fide, grade A, first-class JERK.

She got married in spring 2010 and didn't even make it to her second anniversary with husband #1.

The other day I just got an invitation to her wedding to husband #2, which is due to take place later this month. The wedding is being held hundreds of miles from where we live, so I will not be attending.

This person holds me out at arm's length and looks at me like I'm a disease whenever the whole family gets together. She acts like she's just tolerating my presence. It's hurtful because she was my shadow growing up; she looked up to me and idolized me. For her to treat me like poop on her shoe now is hurtful. I never did anything to her to deserve being treated this way.

Even her mother has started bad-talking her, complaining about her bad/volatile moods and her temper.

I haven't heard anything about a gift registry for this wedding, but if there is one...she's not getting one from me. I don't give gifts for second weddings. Or second babies.

I apologize if this is not the right forum for this. I just had to rant about this and had nowhere else to do it.
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Old 06-04-2012, 09:39 AM
 
3,518 posts, read 2,538,792 times
Reputation: 5310
You sound more like a jerk to me than she does, acting all judgemental that she's getting remarried and whining that she doesn't worship you anymore.

Maybe there's more to the story, but that's a serious rant FAIL.
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Old 06-04-2012, 09:49 AM
 
1,688 posts, read 784,932 times
Reputation: 862
Yes...ranting is okay...but you might desire to elaborate in certain areas...because right now you appear more like the villain, rather than the victim here. Don't expect much support. That part about "I don't give gifts for second weddings. Or second babies," in particular, will probably tick off quite a few people.
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Old 06-04-2012, 10:09 AM
 
Location: Arizona
1,189 posts, read 1,065,538 times
Reputation: 1466
Everyone grows up so complaining that she doesn't idolize you anymore is a bit ridiculous, IMO.

You don't give gifts for second weddings or babies? Wow, I hope you never have any seconds, then you will know what it feels like.

There are plenty of reasons why marriages don't work out. In my case, my husband was verbally and physically abusive. I stayed much longer than I should have, I should have left before anniversary #2 so in your thinking you wouldn't give me a wedding gift because I left a abusive relationship and got re-married.

I think you are the one who needs to grow up.
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Old 06-04-2012, 12:41 PM
 
Location: Richardson, TX
14,707 posts, read 12,026,287 times
Reputation: 11194
Wow. SO not what I said.

What I said was the way she treats me NOW is hurtful, considering she looked up to me when she was little. She treats everyone, and I mean everyone, in our family like poop. Everyone complains about it. Everyone has noticed it.

I'm not judging her for being divorced, though I am NOT alone in our family in thinking that she is jumping into marriage #2 way too quickly. I'm also not the only person in my family who goes by the 'no gift for subsequent weddings' rule.

OH, and the no gifts for second babies bit...even Dear Abby was on board with me on that one.
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Old 06-04-2012, 12:54 PM
 
5,747 posts, read 4,411,492 times
Reputation: 8687
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigDGeek View Post
Wow. SO not what I said.

What I said was the way she treats me NOW is hurtful, considering she looked up to me when she was little. She treats everyone, and I mean everyone, in our family like poop. Everyone complains about it. Everyone has noticed it.

I'm not judging her for being divorced, though I am NOT alone in our family in thinking that she is jumping into marriage #2 way too quickly. I'm also not the only person in my family who goes by the 'no gift for subsequent weddings' rule.

OH, and the no gifts for second babies bit...even Dear Abby was on board with me on that one.

I'm with you, no gift.
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Old 06-04-2012, 01:29 PM
 
Location: Austin
2,173 posts, read 1,251,983 times
Reputation: 2081
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigDGeek View Post
I wasn't sure where else to post this, but I just have to get this off my chest and see if others agree.

I think my cousin is a jerk. A bona-fide, grade A, first-class JERK.

She got married in spring 2010 and didn't even make it to her second anniversary with husband #1.

The other day I just got an invitation to her wedding to husband #2, which is due to take place later this month. The wedding is being held hundreds of miles from where we live, so I will not be attending.

This person holds me out at arm's length and looks at me like I'm a disease whenever the whole family gets together. She acts like she's just tolerating my presence. It's hurtful because she was my shadow growing up; she looked up to me and idolized me. For her to treat me like poop on her shoe now is hurtful. I never did anything to her to deserve being treated this way.

Even her mother has started bad-talking her, complaining about her bad/volatile moods and her temper.

I haven't heard anything about a gift registry for this wedding, but if there is one...she's not getting one from me. I don't give gifts for second weddings. Or second babies.

I apologize if this is not the right forum for this. I just had to rant about this and had nowhere else to do it.
She didn't make it 2 years with her first husband and is marrying someone else already? That's odd, disbarring any kind of abusive situation. She sounds very selfish and narcissistic based on your description. And perhaps has an entitlment problem as well.

What part of this is bothering you the most? Her nature, attitude or something with regards to another marriage?
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Old 06-04-2012, 01:43 PM
 
Location: here
16,608 posts, read 12,922,471 times
Reputation: 13247
I don't honestly see what the big deal is. So she sent your a wedding invite. Would you feel better if you weren't invited? so don't go and don't send a gift. If you feel so inclined, send a card. If not, don't.
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Old 06-04-2012, 01:48 PM
 
8,681 posts, read 6,957,866 times
Reputation: 14876
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigDGeek View Post
What I said was the way she treats me NOW is hurtful, considering she looked up to me when she was little. She treats everyone, and I mean everyone, in our family like poop. Everyone complains about it. Everyone has noticed it.
Then everyone should refrain from indulging her behavior, and everyone should sit her down and talk to her about it. If she acts like a churlish, spoiled rotten brat that that point, then everyone should put their money where their mouths are and everyone should not attend her wedding.

There are no laws dictating that you have to put up with being treated poorly by someone just because you are related to that person.
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Old 06-04-2012, 02:30 PM
 
Location: Richardson, TX
14,707 posts, read 12,026,287 times
Reputation: 11194
Quote:
Originally Posted by redvelvet709 View Post
She didn't make it 2 years with her first husband and is marrying someone else already? That's odd, disbarring any kind of abusive situation. She sounds very selfish and narcissistic based on your description. And perhaps has an entitlment problem as well.

What part of this is bothering you the most? Her nature, attitude or something with regards to another marriage?
Just her attitude. If she wants to get married again, fine; she's over 18!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yzette View Post
Then everyone should refrain from indulging her behavior, and everyone should sit her down and talk to her about it. If she acts like a churlish, spoiled rotten brat that that point, then everyone should put their money where their mouths are and everyone should not attend her wedding.

There are no laws dictating that you have to put up with being treated poorly by someone just because you are related to that person.
I agree. I pretty much don't even speak to her when I see her at family gatherings; I've given up on even trying to have a civil relationship with her. Whenever the family does get together, she's the one sighing loudly, complaining, or ignoring everyone else while she texts or plays games on her smartphone.
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