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Everyone wants a better society. Everyone wants others to be as productive and accountable as they are.
The sad fact is, humanity is not perfect. Some people have the misfortune to be born into circumstances which hold them back, or have things happen to them over the years that stop them ever being 100% healthy.
We will never know an individual's circumstances. All you can do, if you're lucky enough to be in the percent that has managed to pull together a "functional" life, is be more sympathetic to others and not assume you are the judge and jury of "success".
Sorry, I don't buy it. That may true for some people who are on public assistance, but it is a small percentage. I personally know of two people (relatives of my husband) who don't work, don't want to work, and succeeded in getting section 8 housing, food stamps (food card now), and a monthly check from the government. The government has made it harder since going from food stamps to food cards, but they still manage to sell the allottment on their food card for 50 cents on the dollar. They don't want food, they want the cash - so they can buy alcohol. They don't have to work and they have enough money to buy alcohol, and that's all they care about. One of them worked full time until two years ago; the other worked until five years ago. There is no reason they needed to stop working; it was a decision they made. What kind of story they came up with to get into the system, I don't know, but it didn't take them long. There are many more like them.
We will never know an individual's circumstances. All you can do, if you're lucky enough to be in the percent that has managed to pull together a "functional" life, is be more sympathetic to others and not assume you are the judge and jury of "success".
Yeah, I get it... just don't think asking able bodied people to work doesn't strike me really as being judge and jury of success.
The only friend I have who became a pregnant teenager is now married to the father with a third child on the way. They're still young and I wouldn't be too surprised if they get divorced when their kids get older, but for now they are perfectly happy and doing about as well as a young family can.
Sometimes, you make all the right moves and things go south and your life is miserable. Sometimes you make some big mistakes and things work out. Life is a bit of a crapshoot.
Sometimes, you make all the right moves and things go south and your life is miserable. Sometimes you make some big mistakes and things work out. Life is a bit of a crapshoot.
I beg to differ that life "is a crap shoot." That is a cop-out. Life is a state of mind. Life is what you create it to be.
I had twins at 18 years old and never once involved public assistance. I chose to work harder. I played less and sacrificed unnecessary luxuries to beat the odds that I knew that were against me. I set my goals, priorities, and expectations higher up where I decided that I wanted to be years down the road. And I chose my actions carefully to attain MY blueprint - and I continue to do just that. Creation never ends.
A "mistake" is spilling a glass of milk on the kitchen floor. Repeated "mistakes" indicate carelessness. Period. As having had been a young mother myself who busted my hump early on in life to avoid being a welfare statistic, my empathy and understanding runs a bit thin on other women who allow themselves to become a victim of circumstance.
After I had my kids, I worked. I did not sit home and watch Judge Judy on the couch. When I knew that childcare was exhausted with my parent's and close friends on my "main job" that I worked, I went and got two other jobs where I could bring my kids with me - at a childcare center inside two fitness clubs. That young, I would work up to 50 hours each week and eventually I furthered my education to boot. The result: my kids had nice clothing without holes, food was plentiful, and I planned my finances carefully to open my own business - and I did. I was able to be self sufficient and not depend on anyone beside myself. The way it's supposed to be. There are many, many other women who are able to say the exact same thing - and none of us who chose to excel got to where we are today on a "hope, wish or prayer." It was 100% choice.
Agree. Most people who claim that bad things just "happened" to them are full of crap. Apart from true, random accidents, most things we experience are a CHOICE. Taking a passive victim role is a defense mechanism because taking responsibility for one's life can be scary. But once you realize that most things you experience are your choice, it's very empowering.
Agree. Most people who claim that bad things just "happened" to them are full of crap. Apart from true, random accidents, most things we experience are a CHOICE. Taking a passive victim role is a defense mechanism because taking responsibility for one's life can be scary. But once you realize that most things you experience are your choice, it's very empowering.
Unless you feel like you're going to screw it up somehow.
I can top THAT: she married very young, had son and divorced. Father of son completely takes wonderful care of son - financially/emotionally/etc - and mom, too. He really is a great guy. She is working part time - her mom babysits for free in hopes to help get mom and gs off to good start. Mom is dating and now pregnant with baby #2. Has a daughter, isn't working for awhile. Baby daddy is helping as much as he can.
Granny is babysitting BOTH now so mom can return to work (and she has shared that there is government assistance which is so helpful) in hopes to help mom and babies get back on track.
Mom is working part-time, receiving some assistance from the state and two child supports while her mom watches the two kids: 4 yo and a newborn.
Mom is pregnant again. Now going to school to get an associate's degree thanks to some program that is helping her ALOT. Still getting assist *this one is UNKNOWN daddy - two support payments, free sitting and not working.
Not judging. I come home from work (she lives upstairs) and I see a kid I knew from my previous job at university as an intern following pregnant mom to her car carrying "items."
I said hi to him but I must admit at this point I was a bit surprised. He is 10 years younger and I don't know...I am just old fashion that way.
(Grammy did confide in me that baby No 3 is on FULL assist with the STATE and it helps mom financially since the child support only goes so far) Mom just bought a new car - I mean brand new. Mid size. Not judging. Not judging. Not judging.
I was raised by two alcoholics and my brother the favored one was given everything I had to go out and work for. My friend who still lives down the street from our childhood home always hated my deadbeat useless brother who lived off of our mother until the day she died. He married and had two girls that he eventually took away from their drug addicted mother and raised them alone. Neither girl ever worked. One was an addict that stole from him and both girls totally messed up his house. He's had a couple of strokes and now the house is on the verge of foreclosure and neither girl will lift a finger to help out. I just find it sad an ironic that he chose the same path my mother chose with my brother.
I've known people like this. And yes my immediate reaction is sometimes very snobby. I think that's pretty normal actually. As long as you recognize it and try to see past it. When I don't I have a tendency to get taken down in pride by some revelation.
It takes all types. I've known people who are way smarter than me, or have a great deal of talent of one type or another. Andy they just aren't interested in using it.
If they desperately wanted a different kind of life and feel sad they didn't get it that's one thing. If they are fairly content that's another. We have to remind ourselves that to each his own. Of course if you have nothing in common with those choices its ok to not want to be besties either.
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