what is wrong with women? if a friend does a women wrong, she stays friend with her? why?

[FromEverywhere]

Depending on the offense, sometimes it's not a big deal and you both get over it. If it's a big offense, but you talk it out, then why not give that person a second chance?

[dalebx28]

it a horror, to keep leeting someone esle mess up your day..... cut them lose

[harrison21]

If it's one thing and I've been friends with the person for a long time, I try to work it out with them. I had a friend of 10 years start a huge, hurtful argument with me last year about my job of all things. I didn't want to let a 10 year friendship go based on some silly argument, so after we "cooled down" I approached her to have a respectful discussion about it. After that we didn't agree on the subject, but agreed to disagree and basically just respect each other's views. I haven't had a problem with her since. Now if she kept bringing it up or kept being hurtful in other ways, of course I would not stay in a friendship that I considered "abusive." She's also from my home state and we only see other around holidays and such anyway when I am visiting, so we had a little distance after the "issue" as well.

I had another friend who I was very close with all through high school, that I ended up "dropping" as an adult because I was tired of the way she treated me. She was always getting upset over minor things and "not speaking to me" as if we were 12. I would have to approach her and apologize for whatever comment she was upset about, and then things would be fine until the next time she took offense to me looking at her funny or something. I felt like I was walking on eggshells with her, but we had the same group of mutual friends and I didn't want to make things even more awkward, so I tolerated her throughout HS. After we went off to college, I did not bother to stay in contact with her even though she tried several times.

"New" friends that I don't have a relationship built up with are another story. If I see a situation I don't want to get involved in, I feel like I've "matured" enough to just stay away from those people. When I first moved here, it was for a job and I moved over 1,000 miles without knowing anyone. I thought I was fortunate to meet some girls my age on the first day who invited me to go out with them. I hung out with them for around 3-4 weeks and was grateful for them because I didn't know anyone else and it got me out of my apartment. It's a very small town with not many other young single people, and meetup or anything like that is not active here. I started to see that they were the type of people that just treat all of their girl friends like crap. It was the type of situation that when *Melody walks away from the table, everyone starts gossiping about her and what they don't like about her. When *Melody comes back and *Erica leaves, they do the same thing. I finally figured out that being alone was better than being "friends" with these girls and spent a couple of really lonely months here before I finally started to meet some other people. I'd do it again- being by yourself is better than being treated like crap with someone else- just like in a romantic relationship, IMO.

[chilaili]

Originally Posted by dalebx28

it a horror, to keep leeting someone esle mess up your day..... cut them lose

You know, I really wonder why you keep posting questions on this forum when it's so obvious you've already made up your mind and have no interest in the answers.

[dalebx28]

Originally Posted by chilaili

You know, I really wonder why you keep posting questions on this forum when it's so obvious you've already made up your mind and have no interest in the answers.

i thought the whole idea was to talk about it ........ and discuss it ....... like americans and never do it anything about it

[dalebx28]

Originally Posted by harrison21

If it's one thing and I've been friends with the person for a long time, I try to work it out with them. I had a friend of 10 years start a huge, hurtful argument with me last year about my job of all things. I didn't want to let a 10 year friendship go based on some silly argument, so after we "cooled down" I approached her to have a respectful discussion about it. After that we didn't agree on the subject, but agreed to disagree and basically just respect each other's views. I haven't had a problem with her since. Now if she kept bringing it up or kept being hurtful in other ways, of course I would not stay in a friendship that I considered "abusive." She's also from my home state and we only see other around holidays and such anyway when I am visiting, so we had a little distance after the "issue" as well.

I had another friend who I was very close with all through high school, that I ended up "dropping" as an adult because I was tired of the way she treated me. She was always getting upset over minor things and "not speaking to me" as if we were 12. I would have to approach her and apologize for whatever comment she was upset about, and then things would be fine until the next time she took offense to me looking at her funny or something. I felt like I was walking on eggshells with her, but we had the same group of mutual friends and I didn't want to make things even more awkward, so I tolerated her throughout HS. After we went off to college, I did not bother to stay in contact with her even though she tried several times.

"New" friends that I don't have a relationship built up with are another story. If I see a situation I don't want to get involved in, I feel like I've "matured" enough to just stay away from those people. When I first moved here, it was for a job and I moved over 1,000 miles without knowing anyone. I thought I was fortunate to meet some girls my age on the first day who invited me to go out with them. I hung out with them for around 3-4 weeks and was grateful for them because I didn't know anyone else and it got me out of my apartment. It's a very small town with not many other young single people, and meetup or anything like that is not active here. I started to see that they were the type of people that just treat all of their girl friends like crap. It was the type of situation that when *Melody walks away from the table, everyone starts gossiping about her and what they don't like about her. When *Melody comes back and *Erica leaves, they do the same thing. I finally figured out that being alone was better than being "friends" with these girls and spent a couple of really lonely months here before I finally started to meet some other people. I'd do it again- being by yourself is better than being treated like crap with someone else- just like in a romantic relationship, IMO.

am 42 and i don't have much friends - life either takes them or they take life ..... either way we all go to grow up .......... i wish i had my best friend live down the block like when your young or even a school when all same age adults go to mingle ......... but adult live is way harder they kid living

[tegota]

Originally Posted by dalebx28

what is wrong with women? if her friend does her wrong, she keep the friend around to offend again. not the case with men. one offense and your out!!!!

is it women insecurity? i know it hard to make true friends these days but come on already.

maybe that why so many women stay in bad relationship, bad marriage and bad friendship. or is it just low self esteem.

ok, I know that modern society is really confused. We see other animals, and they know what to eat and do. Where humans, hell, we can't seem for the life of us to figure out what to eat and stay slim and healthy.

WOMEN ARE NOT MEN! THEY DO NOT HAVE THE SAME THOUGHT PROCESSES OR CONCEPTS OF LOYALTY OR FRIENDSHIP AS MEN!

Let them be women.

[funisart]

Originally Posted by dalebx28

am 42 and i don't have much friends - life either takes them or they take life ..... either way we all go to grow up .......... i wish i had my best friend live down the block like when your young or even a school when all same age adults go to mingle ......... but adult live is way harder they kid living

I went back and looked a lot of your threads and posts. Life now doesn't have to be harder now than "kid living." When you are a kid, you didn't have the responsibilities you have now, but you also didn't have the freedom of how and where to live your own life.

You are 42, you can move away from your toxic relatives. Or just stay away from them. To have friends you have to make an effort to be social and be a "friend" yourself. Life is what you make it. It doesn't have to be so very negative. Stop dwelling on all the bad things. Take your wife on a short trip and try to find something positive to say every 10 minutes. You do not "owe" anything to anyone but your wife and yourself. It is commendable to want to help your sister, and your other relatives, but if they are bringing you down cut them off, your first responsibility is to yourself.

Stop complaining and do something about it.

[dalebx28]

Originally Posted by funisart

I went back and looked a lot of your threads and posts. Life now doesn't have to be harder now than "kid living." When you are a kid, you didn't have the responsibilities you have now, but you also didn't have the freedom of how and where to live your own life.

You are 42, you can move away from your toxic relatives. Or just stay away from them. To have friends you have to make an effort to be social and be a "friend" yourself. Life is what you make it. It doesn't have to be so very negative. Stop dwelling on all the bad things. Take your wife on a short trip and try to find something positive to say every 10 minutes. You do not "owe" anything to anyone but your wife and yourself. It is commendable to want to help your sister, and your other relatives, but if they are bringing you down cut them off, your first responsibility is to yourself.

Stop complaining and do something about it.

I would like to think that am venting. Am fairly happy.. Just confused living in a world with heartless, cruel, selfish people. Me am ok. And am out going But i do lack that friend I need but god will provide him soon. So until then I talk to u here. Every event I post am at and even some I don,t post am at. I think your reading me wrong. But I m smile. Anyway