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Old 06-19-2012, 09:41 AM
 
224 posts, read 703,258 times
Reputation: 248

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Got into a discussion with oddly an old high school friend and his wife about this. They asked if I was going to the upcoming reunion and I told them no way that single people just don't go to those sorts of things. I tried to explain that if you are not married and childless that nobody wants to talk to you at those sort of functions as they can't relate to you and its just very miserable to go to those sorts of things alone. They looked at me like I was an alien. I think marrieds just don't get it what its like to be single and therefore isolated from other adults in this culture. Its not that I've always been single. I was engaged twice first time I was like the rebound and they went back to their previous girlfriend they had been broken up with for over a year. The second engagement was with someone who cheated on me while we were engaged and turned out to be an alcoholic. After that I didn't date as much as I ended up with a host of medical problems while also working my tail off trying to make enough income to pay my medical bills and keep a roof over my head. I ended up working LOTS of overtime, worked weekends and evening shift which is a recipe for staying single. It was hard to keep up with all my friends at that time too as I always had to be at work on Saturdays and at night when I would get invitations to go places. Hence at 40-something I'm alone and moved to a different part of country where its impossible to meet people. Do I really want to go to my reunion so everyone can look down on me for being a loser and ask me why I'm unmarried and don't have kids? No! (Though I really would like to see some of the people I grew up with).
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Old 06-19-2012, 09:49 AM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,071 posts, read 8,365,038 times
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Just because you aren't married with kids doesn't mean you're a loser. I bet a ton of your classmates are divorced, have kids with all kinds of issues...pish. Any idiot can go out and get married and pop out some babies. Marriage and parenthood are definitely NOT the only measures of success! If you want to go you should go! Who cares what anyone thinks about your single status. It isn't any of their business anyway.
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Old 06-19-2012, 09:55 AM
 
2,996 posts, read 4,917,516 times
Reputation: 1793
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wembley View Post
Got into a discussion with oddly an old high school friend and his wife about this. They asked if I was going to the upcoming reunion and I told them no way that single people just don't go to those sorts of things. I tried to explain that if you are not married and childless that nobody wants to talk to you at those sort of functions as they can't relate to you and its just very miserable to go to those sorts of things alone. They looked at me like I was an alien. I think marrieds just don't get it what its like to be single and therefore isolated from other adults in this culture. Its not that I've always been single. I was engaged twice first time I was like the rebound and they went back to their previous girlfriend they had been broken up with for over a year. The second engagement was with someone who cheated on me while we were engaged and turned out to be an alcoholic. After that I didn't date as much as I ended up with a host of medical problems while also working my tail off trying to make enough income to pay my medical bills and keep a roof over my head. I ended up working LOTS of overtime, worked weekends and evening shift which is a recipe for staying single. It was hard to keep up with all my friends at that time too as I always had to be at work on Saturdays and at night when I would get invitations to go places. Hence at 40-something I'm alone and moved to a different part of country where its impossible to meet people. Do I really want to go to my reunion so everyone can look down on me for being a loser and ask me why I'm unmarried and don't have kids? No! (Though I really would like to see some of the people I grew up with).
Unless your experience in high school was very good and you had some close friends that youve lost contact with over the years...I personally wouldnt waste my time and money on high school reunions . I went to my 10 year reunion and found it to be on the superficial side , not knowing what to say after youve introduced yourself around the table and saying nice things like 'my , you havent changed a bit' , and being reminded of the folks that were Bullies to you back in your high school years. To me, high school was like being incarcerated for 4 long years and i couldnt wait for my day of reprieve and reliving those memories would be more of a downer than a positive thing --- Id rather take myself out to The Golden Coral for dinner then a nice walk on the beach as the sun sets .

Do you remember that song by Paul Simon called 'KodaChrome' where he starts off singing : 'When i think back on all the CRAP i learned in high school...its a wonder i can think at allllll...' ? Well, that is MY song ! If it was different for you then great....go and try to have a nice time.
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Old 06-19-2012, 09:59 AM
 
Location: Philaburbia
32,371 posts, read 59,807,408 times
Reputation: 54016
You're assuming people haven't grown the hell up in the intervening years. Bad assumption.

PS -- There are reasons for being a loser; marital status is not one of them.
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Old 06-19-2012, 10:01 AM
 
224 posts, read 703,258 times
Reputation: 248
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki View Post
Just because you aren't married with kids doesn't mean you're a loser. I bet a ton of your classmates are divorced, have kids with all kinds of issues...pish. Any idiot can go out and get married and pop out some babies. Marriage and parenthood are definitely NOT the only measures of success! If you want to go you should go! Who cares what anyone thinks about your single status. It isn't any of their business anyway.
Well I have Facebooked a lot of people from school and most are married and appear at least to be happy with kids and many of them grandkids. I am from a rural area where most people get married young and nobody is single. I can't remember the last single person I met around here. Even if they get divorced everyone is quickly remarried. I don't feel I have anything to talk to anyone about at the reunion as all people ever talk about to me or on Facebook is their spouse or kids. When I try to talk hobbies, travel or life experiences I just get that deer in the headlights look from people around here. I really have nothing to talk about otherwise. People wonder how you spent your life and I really don't want to tell them I spent most of my adult years very physically ill and stuff like learning how to walk again after a severe injury. I mentioned that once or twice to people and just got weird stares like I was lying (even though I walk with a visible limp now). I really don't want to talk about illness as I don't want to revisit those days and nobody wants to hear it either. Nobody seems to want to hear about your work either thus spouse and kids is always the topic people want to discuss. Its uncomfortable. Don't get me wrong, I love kids and wish I had my own. But then people talk about their kids and then they will say you don't talk much do you if you just contently listen well what am I suppose to talk about?
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Old 06-19-2012, 11:14 AM
 
2,996 posts, read 4,917,516 times
Reputation: 1793
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohiogirl81 View Post
You're assuming people haven't grown the hell up in the intervening years. Bad assumption.

PS -- There are reasons for being a loser; marital status is not one of them.
Please address the person you mean your posts for , otherwise, we have no idea who you are ranting to. Thanks.
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Old 06-19-2012, 11:38 AM
 
Location: Asheville NC
1,602 posts, read 1,312,679 times
Reputation: 4160
Default You sound like anything but a loser

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wembley View Post
Got into a discussion with oddly an old high school friend and his wife about this. They asked if I was going to the upcoming reunion and I told them no way that single people just don't go to those sorts of things. I tried to explain that if you are not married and childless that nobody wants to talk to you at those sort of functions as they can't relate to you and its just very miserable to go to those sorts of things alone. They looked at me like I was an alien. I think marrieds just don't get it what its like to be single and therefore isolated from other adults in this culture. Its not that I've always been single. I was engaged twice first time I was like the rebound and they went back to their previous girlfriend they had been broken up with for over a year. The second engagement was with someone who cheated on me while we were engaged and turned out to be an alcoholic. After that I didn't date as much as I ended up with a host of medical problems while also working my tail off trying to make enough income to pay my medical bills and keep a roof over my head. I ended up working LOTS of overtime, worked weekends and evening shift which is a recipe for staying single. It was hard to keep up with all my friends at that time too as I always had to be at work on Saturdays and at night when I would get invitations to go places. Hence at 40-something I'm alone and moved to a different part of country where its impossible to meet people. Do I really want to go to my reunion so everyone can look down on me for being a loser and ask me why I'm unmarried and don't have kids? No! (Though I really would like to see some of the people I grew up with).
You had bad medical problems, and then worked hard to pay off your medical bills-Kudos-you are a responsible strong woman. You were smart enough to get out of a bad engagement. You are independent and have moved to a different part of the country, on your own and you support yourself. You are a winner. Go to the reunion and tell them about all the great things you have seen in this different part of the country, talk about your job, and ooh and awwh over their kids photos. Those who are your real friends will welcome you. If no one does, it is their loss.
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Old 06-19-2012, 01:06 PM
 
Location: Philaburbia
32,371 posts, read 59,807,408 times
Reputation: 54016
Quote:
Originally Posted by 007.5 View Post
Please address the person you mean your posts for , otherwise, we have no idea who you are ranting to. Thanks.
I wasn't talking to you. Thanks.

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Old 06-19-2012, 03:20 PM
 
14,752 posts, read 28,604,934 times
Reputation: 8780
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki View Post
Just because you aren't married with kids doesn't mean you're a loser. I bet a ton of your classmates are divorced, have kids with all kinds of issues...pish. Any idiot can go out and get married and pop out some babies. Marriage and parenthood are definitely NOT the only measures of success! If you want to go you should go! Who cares what anyone thinks about your single status. It isn't any of their business anyway.
Nice. I agree, but many don't...and it's 2012. I went to my 20-year and was single. I was "sort of" interested in what people were up to, but went primarily because someone I liked and figured would still be attractive...based on face and body type...was now "available" and would be there. Well, I got back in contact with her, it didn't work out. So, I am not planning on going to others.

Also, we graduated about 225 students. They needed 80 to get the ballroom. They had to scrape to get the last 5 or so people to make the cut.

There were probably 3 single men and 3 single women. From the general apathy and intact cliques I saw at the reunion, I couldn't be bothered.
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Old 06-19-2012, 03:29 PM
 
25,953 posts, read 26,758,083 times
Reputation: 26716
I graduated a year early and my friend pool was mostly in the class ahead of me. Just for the heck of it I just stopped in for a couple drinks and was out of there. I wasn't married or had children and didn't take anyone with me. I sat at a table of a very diverse group of people had a few chuckles about who was doing what and why and that was enough for me. I wouldn't go to another one though.
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