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Old 04-03-2014, 05:37 AM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,839 posts, read 30,065,940 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolhand68 View Post
I had this same conversation with my 14 year old daughter. I told her not to worry about it. THose who follow and copy others typically lack creativity, imagination, originality and are basically harmless. No one can be a better you than you.
Very Very True, & thank you...
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Old 04-03-2014, 01:30 PM
 
Location: The Jar
20,058 posts, read 18,211,140 times
Reputation: 37120
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolhand68 View Post
I had this same conversation with my 14 year old daughter. I told her not to worry about it. THose who follow and copy others typically lack creativity, imagination, originality and are basically harmless. No one can be a better you than you.
Not harmless when it's theft of an idea or creative piece--like with my wife's original artwork, etc. Same thing for her original recipes, etc. What I think is so bad, is that these women do it, and then it looks like my wife was the one who copied! That's why she has taken to mentioning (in front of her pal's clueless spouses) the exact dates and times she first came up with whatever was ripped off. She hopes it will register with the dummy oblivious husbands-- who are under the false impression their wives are the ones with the enormous talent. Yeah, buddy, your wife has talent alright! Talent to secretly rip off and copy my wife! That/your "Little Luigi" with the great homemade pizza and pizza crust-- friggin' stole the idea and "how to" from my wife--whose been making it for years and years (before you married your wife)! Yes sir, your wife has talent alright. Talent to reproduce the ideas and creations of others!
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Old 04-04-2014, 05:40 AM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,839 posts, read 30,065,940 times
Reputation: 19011
Quote:
Originally Posted by picklejuice View Post
Not harmless when it's theft of an idea or creative piece--like with my wife's original artwork, etc. Same thing for her original recipes, etc. What I think is so bad, is that these women do it, and then it looks like my wife was the one who copied! That's why she has taken to mentioning (in front of her pal's clueless spouses) the exact dates and times she first came up with whatever was ripped off. She hopes it will register with the dummy oblivious husbands-- who are under the false impression their wives are the ones with the enormous talent. Yeah, buddy, your wife has talent alright! Talent to secretly rip off and copy my wife! That/your "Little Luigi" with the great homemade pizza and pizza crust-- friggin' stole the idea and "how to" from my wife--whose been making it for years and years (before you married your wife)! Yes sir, your wife has talent alright. Talent to reproduce the ideas and creations of others!
I told my one girlfriend whom I love dearly, but copies me a whole lot, is, it is stealing someone's identity. And it is....

Honestly, she comes in my home and looks all around, and studies me, and anything I get new...especially in my garden, then she asks me where I got it, and goes out and gets the same thing...so I had a talk with her...and told her, "I love you, but if you continue to do this, we won't be friends any longer." and I said I meant it. She said, "it is the highest form of flattery", and I said, no it is not, then got a little angry with her and said, "you are stealing my identity". She gets it, but is angry about it, so I asked her, "Are you so insecure you cannot come up with your own ideas?" She said, "I just cannot help it".

Here is another for instance....last Summer, I started carrying a large water cup with me, she went and bought the same thing and then carried it and said, "I don't know why, I'm so thirsty lately". I said, "no, your not, your copying me again" and laughed. It is insane how people blatenly do that, but do not realize it?

I feel sorry for your wife, I'm older now, and have no problem opening my mouth and defending my terriroty and I don't care about loosing friends I speak my mind to...it is their choice, unless of course, I decide they are way to needy for me....and that may sound aloof, but I learned a long time ago, Friends can be so demanding at times...and in your wife's case, it is family so it's hard, but I ask you this....would you care if they got angry? They are actually hurting her, and maybe she needs to talk to them, as a group...sometime, when your all together, bring the subject up...and then she can chime in....if they don't come around as much, that's ok, b/c I find people who copy are very insecure people...needy, who need to be around people for security and approval. When a friend asks me, "do you think I should go on that trip". I jump up and down and say "of course you should, but why are you looking for my approval to do something so fantastic and fun?".
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Old 04-19-2014, 07:58 PM
 
2 posts, read 16,167 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post
Violet, your probably a lot like me, independent, you don't need people in your life constantly and you don't look for approval every time you decide to do something or go somewhere and people don't understand that.

For instance, I'm a clean freak..the other night some of my friends were over for coffee, and I mentioned that I just washed a new spread that I had twice, and it started falling apart so I'm sending it back. OMG, the one girl went off like I was a nut....for washing it so often? They don't use theirs during the night, they fold theirs back, but I use mine, love the feal of it...so, she made the ugliest face, like I was doing something wrong...so I said to her.....

Just b/c I do something that you don't do, doesn't make me wrong and you right....and I'm not going to sit here and defend myself b/c I do something differently then you do, but I'd appreciate it, if you wouldn't try and make it seem like I'm doing something wrong, b/c you were not raised to do things Like I do them. She is the same one who bought a carpet just like mine..everytime I get something new, she has to have the same thing?

She is insecure, kinda crude, at times, but has a good heart and is loving. If I bake something for someone, she has to do the same thing, she copys me a lot, without realizing it, especially the way I decorate.

I don't have all the answers why I draw these insecure people, but another answer is, I'm more knowledgeable then they are, and I concern myself with world current events, and politics, and a whole lot more. I'm not saying I'm intellegent, but do posses a hunger for knowledge, and they don't even ask the doctor what is exactly wrong when they go to the doctor, however, these girls were married and were used to having every thing done for them, which is another topic we touched base on, and they both agreed, that it is very dangerous to allow hubby to do so much for them and become dependent on them, not only for their approval, but for their whole exisistence.

So, my answer to you is this....keep your friends close, and those that annoy you at a distance....
until they get the message that you don't want to hang with them any longer. There is nothing you can do about those at work, but remember, there is always something in any situation for you to learn yourself, so keep on keepin on. lol

Also, ignore the negative comments in this thread, I've learned in posting that people who make it a reaction to come in and post negative comments to try and make you look silly for your feelings Violet are insecure and perhaps took an offense to your post, b/c they themselves subconsciously know they are copy cats, or feel guilty for doing so....

thank you
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Old 11-20-2014, 10:18 AM
 
388 posts, read 681,820 times
Reputation: 397
I know this post is old but I wanted to comment because I was looking for answers as to why my husband's ex wife (they have a child) copies everything I/we do. I mean, I cannot escape it.
And let me tell you...I am quite boring. Some say that I am creative but I feel everyone can be creative so I don't think it's a huge deal. Other than that...I am just a regular person. Truly. I don't think I do anything different from the next person. And yet, she somehow feels the need to copy me, step for step.

At first, I thought maybe we just have similar ways of thinking - there are lots out there that think like me. But then I observed it wasn't just something similar - it was exact. And always right after I/we did something.

So far, she has bought the same toys, taken the child to the same special or unique places, changed her make-up/started wearing more make-up (I wear it and before this she never did according to my husband), I joined PTO at the school of which she was never involved, she joined the PTO, I volunteered in the school or classroom and she magically started doing it. I had long hair when we married, she started letting her hair grow out, we had considered moving at one point and she just uprooted herself from a great home in a great area and....moved. We had a dog, she bought a dog, even though she hates dogs and isn't a "pet" person. She even named the dog a name that matches our dog's name and just a bit smaller in size.

A few months ago, I got a new SUV in a color that I always choose for my cars. Well, guess who just got an SUV (and didn't drive one before) in the same color?! Their child said it looks just like mine but is a different brand. The child is kind of young so I can't be certain what brand it is - it doesn't matter though. This is now too close for my comfort. Why ME??? Why not a friend of hers? Or someone she works with?
My husband tells me that she did this when they were married but why her ex's new wife????

The list goes on...

I understand we all basically copy each other. But the issue I have is when it's in your circle - even when you don't like someone. Even more!! That's when it starts to get flat out creepy.

To be clear, she and I are not friends. We are cordial but that is it. We don't have personal discussions. My husband doesn't speak to her really either, unless it's about their son and it's very important. So everything she imitates is what she sees herself or what their child tells her.

We find it so weird and creepy. It's been a pet peeve my whole life when people copy AND don't give credit. If I see a pair of shoes that I love and I get them...I will credit where I saw them. Simple as that. I don't mind sharing it's not my idea. But to pass it off like nothing happened? And that I'm her ex's wife? It's just flat out stalker-ish.

So I get what OP was saying. It's not flattery. It's not a compliment. It's annoying!
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Old 11-20-2014, 10:55 AM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,839 posts, read 30,065,940 times
Reputation: 19011
Quote:
Originally Posted by daisee1203 View Post
I know this post is old but I wanted to comment because I was looking for answers as to why my husband's ex wife (they have a child) copies everything I/we do. I mean, I cannot escape it.
And let me tell you...I am quite boring. Some say that I am creative but I feel everyone can be creative so I don't think it's a huge deal. Other than that...I am just a regular person. Truly. I don't think I do anything different from the next person. And yet, she somehow feels the need to copy me, step for step.

At first, I thought maybe we just have similar ways of thinking - there are lots out there that think like me. But then I observed it wasn't just something similar - it was exact. And always right after I/we did something.

So far, she has bought the same toys, taken the child to the same special or unique places, changed her make-up/started wearing more make-up (I wear it and before this she never did according to my husband), I joined PTO at the school of which she was never involved, she joined the PTO, I volunteered in the school or classroom and she magically started doing it. I had long hair when we married, she started letting her hair grow out, we had considered moving at one point and she just uprooted herself from a great home in a great area and....moved. We had a dog, she bought a dog, even though she hates dogs and isn't a "pet" person. She even named the dog a name that matches our dog's name and just a bit smaller in size.

A few months ago, I got a new SUV in a color that I always choose for my cars. Well, guess who just got an SUV (and didn't drive one before) in the same color?! Their child said it looks just like mine but is a different brand. The child is kind of young so I can't be certain what brand it is - it doesn't matter though. This is now too close for my comfort. Why ME??? Why not a friend of hers? Or someone she works with?
My husband tells me that she did this when they were married but why her ex's new wife????

The list goes on...

I understand we all basically copy each other. But the issue I have is when it's in your circle - even when you don't like someone. Even more!! That's when it starts to get flat out creepy.

To be clear, she and I are not friends. We are cordial but that is it. We don't have personal discussions. My husband doesn't speak to her really either, unless it's about their son and it's very important. So everything she imitates is what she sees herself or what their child tells her.

We find it so weird and creepy. It's been a pet peeve my whole life when people copy AND don't give credit. If I see a pair of shoes that I love and I get them...I will credit where I saw them. Simple as that. I don't mind sharing it's not my idea. But to pass it off like nothing happened? And that I'm her ex's wife? It's just flat out stalker-ish.

So I get what OP was saying. It's not flattery. It's not a compliment. It's annoying!
well, I cannot speak for your ex's wife, but what I do know is, the one girl who copies me, I broke off ties with, it was really getting creepy. I believe it comes from being insecure, and not being artistic, so they steal other people's ideas, b/c they want to be just like you. Have what you have.
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Old 11-20-2014, 11:00 AM
 
388 posts, read 681,820 times
Reputation: 397
Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post
well, I cannot speak for your ex's wife, but what I do know is, the one girl who copies me, I broke off ties with, it was really getting creepy. I believe it comes from being insecure, and not being artistic, so they steal other people's ideas, b/c they want to be just like you. Have what you have.
But WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

Just because they aren't creative? I just can't SEE WHY.
You know she tells my husband that I am jealous of her? Hah. I was very confused. I truly was. She has nothing I want or need. So to me, if she really thinks that, then why am I not copying her?
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Old 11-20-2014, 11:12 AM
 
Location: Canada
11,755 posts, read 11,939,171 times
Reputation: 30129
Quote:
Originally Posted by daisee1203 View Post
But WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

Just because they aren't creative? I just can't SEE WHY.
You know she tells my husband that I am jealous of her? Hah. I was very confused. I truly was. She has nothing I want or need. So to me, if she really thinks that, then why am I not copying her?
That's called projection.

From Psychological projection - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Psychological projection is a theory in psychology in which humans defend themselves against unpleasant impulses by denying their existence in themselves, while attributing them to others. For example, a person who is rude may constantly accuse other people of being rude.

According to some research, the projection of one's negative qualities onto others is a common process in everyday life.
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Old 11-20-2014, 01:12 PM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,839 posts, read 30,065,940 times
Reputation: 19011
Quote:
Originally Posted by daisee1203 View Post
But WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

Just because they aren't creative? I just can't SEE WHY.
You know she tells my husband that I am jealous of her? Hah. I was very confused. I truly was. She has nothing I want or need. So to me, if she really thinks that, then why am I not copying her?
well, first of all, she is the one who is jealous of you, otherwise she wouldn't be copying you.
Did you leave him? Did you have children?

Someone once told me, that when someone copies you, they want to be you. I've had this problem all my life, and believe me, it isn't flattering at all.....it makes me uneasy and very angry.

I moved to my new home 6 years ago, and this one woman, copied me constantly....everything I did, inside and out. She would say to me, "you are so independent, you do anything you put your mind to".
1. She copied my hair, I cut it short and left the grey grow out, she did the same thing.
2. I bought a new car, she did the same thing, same color.
3. I bought a new really expensive plush thick rug, she had to have one.
and it goes on and on
so I confronted her about it on several occassions, and she said, "immitation is the highest form of flattery". I replied, it is not, your stealing not only my identity, but also taking all my ideas. She laughed, so we are now no longer friends. I've cut her out of my life. And that is all you can do.

One of my other friends told me, that I have a unique way of decorating a very good eye for it...and that is why she copied me....she wanted what I had? It really drives a person insane.

But in your case, I believe honestly, your ex's wife wants to be you and cannot, so she copies you, b/c you intimidate her...she feels safe when she thinks she is copying you.

If your ex and you had children together, she knows there will always be a bond between you two and she doesn't like that

If you left him, that speaks volumns, why she is jealous.
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Old 11-21-2014, 04:28 AM
 
Location: Endless Concert
1,764 posts, read 1,660,751 times
Reputation: 3523
I was going to start a thread about jealous friends but after reading this thread - this sounds about right - jealous and copying

I have a longtime friend that is a jealous person in general and has
made reference to knowing this about herself and I think tries to not show it. Ok so that's good.

But this is what's kinda werid, it seems like certain things she may like or admire about my life growing up and others - she tries to incorporate, in a round about way, that this was part of her upbringing, too.

I never really quite know what to say, when she'll say something that I know isn't so. I just ignore it, I figure let her play this game with herself.

I feel like saying something like why don't you embrace who really are.

Be your own person
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