friends who keep everyone separate (spouse, husband, member, children)

[Trimac20]

Yes plenty of people do, and if they choose to, don't want to take the effort to introduce everybody it's their right.

I don't really have a group of friends I hang with, like some, nor do I see most of my friends more than once a month or so. I think they've only all met each other a couple of times, like at my birthday party, but otherwise they are all pretty different so I don't go out of my way to organize group 'meet'n'greets', and well, I just prefer it that way. Not that I don't trust them but it's also just less messy if anything happens...not that there's anything wrong with this, just speaking for myself.

[Pikake]

My best friend lives in TX, another good friend in CA, and then I have a few friends out here. The time zone difference kind of puts a damper on introducing them to one another .

[redvelvet709]

The only part of this that continues to bother me is that she tells me about the good times she is having with these women I would also have a good time with. I have invited her to several things with others, it just seems as if she knows it bothers me. Best to let it go, I know. I certainly do NOT want to go where I am not wanted.

[Tracysherm]

Then it sounds like the problem is not the friend keeping you and her other friends separate, but what is her motivation for continually telling you how much fun she has with these other friends?
My guess is that she really doesn't have so much fun with those other friends, but she's pumping herself for some reason: to impress you, to remind you that you're not her ONLY friend in case you dump her, or like you said, just to annoy you for some reason.

I have a 'friend' who really doesn't have other friends, just some casual acquaintences, but she would constantly tell me and another woman about all the adventures she had with these other friends of hers. It's like she's trying to prove that she really does have a life.

[Trimac20]

Originally Posted by redvelvet709

The only part of this that continues to bother me is that she tells me about the good times she is having with these women I would also have a good time with. I have invited her to several things with others, it just seems as if she knows it bothers me. Best to let it go, I know. I certainly do NOT want to go where I am not wanted.

I don't think anyone has a 'right' to have 'access' to a friend's friends...sure she could be hiding something from you, but even if she does, it shows she doesn't trust you or something.

If you're annoyed by her constantly telling you about what a great time she had with her friends, tell her 'that's great but I'm really not interested.'

[Mikala43]

See, I don't understand this. Most of my friend groups are separate, because they are all different.

I've never felt an obligation to a friend to introduce her to other friends. I find it odd that you think she should. I introduce who I want into groups, for a variety of reasons. I'm under no obligation to do otherwise.

[furrypro]

I've been in those situations. It feels very weird. However, friends can spill the beans about one's secrets and or "steal" friends away. There is a lot of competition and jealousy these days.

[crisan]

Originally Posted by redvelvet709

The only part of this that continues to bother me is that she tells me about the good times she is having with these women I would also have a good time with. I have invited her to several things with others, it just seems as if she knows it bothers me. Best to let it go, I know. I certainly do NOT want to go where I am not wanted.

I would NOT let it go. But that doesn't mean I would confront that friend and make her defensive.

What I would do is evaluate what she has to offer me and then give back what I consider fair. Done deal. No more expectations from her or from myself.

When I am bothered in situations like this, it usually means I have given more than I have received. I usually need to let my intentions be known, e.g. you meet my friends and I meet your friends. Or I just stop doing more for that friend.

[Convivialist]

Originally Posted by redvelvet709

Anyone have that certain friend who never introduces you to her other friends, who keeps all of his or her friends in situations to see them only one-on-one?
I grew up in an environment where we share our friends and families, get together for dinners, happy hours, etc. I love introducing my friends to others. I have introduced this particular woman to a few of my other friends in the past year I have known her.
She seems to have a lot of stuff going on all the time, but she won't ever invite me to meet any of her new friends. In turn, she doesn't introduce them to anyone else, either. I won't say it doesn't bother me-as it clearly does, hence the post. I just don't understand why the need to do that. I guess she will never have a party.
I'd like to hear from people who have a tendency to keep their friends removed from others and why.

Hello, I had this same experience with one of past girlfirends. I often offered to invite her friends over for a dinner party and whenever we met her friends it was always one on one and her friends didn't know each other and didn't even seem to know the other friends existed in some cases. In my case, after much later discovery unfortunetly for me, I found that my former girlfriend was a covert narcissist. This behavior is not normal. The purpose of keeping the friends seperate was to cover lies. If all of her friends got in the same room and started talking stories, the truth would come out and the stories wouldn't match up. Another case that's not as serious as narcissim is sometimes addicts have their user friends and then have their clean friends their family knows. Granted I'm no expert, but think about what I've experienced and see if it fits. It turned out my ex had been lying to me about so many things it took me months to get to the truth and her friends don't even know who she is and you get different answers depending on who you ask. In my ex's case, friends were dropped from facebook for instance and new ones added to replace them once they discovered what kinds of person she was and she wouldn't call or talk to them anymore. All of my friends meet each other eventually, I bet yours do too. I think people bring people together and that is normal human behavior. I hope this helps.

[purplepanini]

ever thought "oh boy, if person X met person Y, they would end up killing each other."
yeah, I would understand why someone would do that. sometimes people's personality traits are so obviously contradictory in comparison to others that you might consider not having those two interact.