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Pikantari...My husband is "gone" now. (Sad!) He passed away in July of 2010...We were together for 29 years and married for 24 years. Sure do miss him!...When we met he said that he and his first wife focused too much on being parents and didn't work hard enough to keep "love and romance" alive in their marriage...We "compared notes" about the mistakes we felt we made in our earlier marriages and decided to be "different" with each other...I think it's important to have a sense of humor and a "playful side." Being "super serious" all the time isn't really condusive to romance! How do you feel about it?.. Thanks for asking about my husband. He'll always be here with me "in spirit!"
Ruth4Truth...I agree with you about the importance of kindness and thoughtfulness in a marriage...My husband definitely held my interest! And intrigued me!...He was full of surprises and "new sides" to him all the time...I think it's important for spouses to keep growing as separate individuals so no one has a chance to get bored! Don't you?...Of course some couples start going their "separate ways" and stop sharing very much with each other. This is sad!
Pikantari...My husband is "gone" now. (Sad!) He passed away in July of 2010...We were together for 29 years and married for 24 years. Sure do miss him!...When we met he said that he and his first wife focused too much on being parents and didn't work hard enough to keep "love and romance" alive in their marriage...We "compared notes" about the mistakes we felt we made in our earlier marriages and decided to be "different" with each other...I think it's important to have a sense of humor and a "playful side." Being "super serious" all the time isn't really condusive to romance! How do you feel about it?.. Thanks for asking about my husband. He'll always be here with me "in spirit!"
I'm very sorry. I lost my husband of 18 years 5 years ago. To me "romantic" was him buying me and brass Indian pepper grinder on his trip. Why? Because it was something completely odd that he knew I would love. Just the fact that he knew me so well made it completely romantic.
I'm lucky that my SO is just as romantic but in a different way, probably because we have less time together.
I don't think for a second that romance is dead.
I do think people look for "romance" with people they just met. And that's not really feasible. There is "pretend" romance, as in here's some flowers and some chocolate, because that is what we are "sold".
Real romance is on a much deeper level. It comes from the heart, and knowing someone.
Mikala43...Thanks for posting. Sorry you lost your husband... I agree with you about "pretend romance." I don't want to play a "role" in a "movie" with someone I don't know very well. It feels silly and phony and "plastic!" YUK!...Some people in long-term relationships may rely on "same old, same old" because they're afraid to take risks. They rely on "tried and true" to be safe...But other people enjoy going off the "beaten-path." And take time to get to know themselves and their spouse "in-depth." Don't you think?.. Thanks again for your post. Great that you found "love" again!
On a side-note: I think men can scare some women off if they "do romance" right off the bat on a first date! Maybe some women enjoy this but everyone doesn't!...I cringe every time a man I don't know very well calls me "pretty lady!" YUK! It feels like a "put-down" to me and not really a compliment. (Like a "line" from an old movie!)...I know the men "mean well." But I just don't want to be called "pretty lady" or "darling" or "beautiful" or even "honey" by a man I barely know...
Have you experienced this where you live now? When I lived in Arizona I never had a man refer to me that way ever. Forget pretty lady, they don't even say ma'am there. The only thing a man called me there was "fat pig" before I lost weight. Here in the South being called darlin and little lady is very commonplace. I will agree with you I hate it especially since the men all have this air of superiority and have basically told me all women are stupid. Its the over familiarity of the terms I dislike just like I hated being address by my first name in the west instead of Ms. ____ by complete strangers.
As far as romance goes I like it once I am dating someone. But all my female friends have been non-romantic and just go for a fling every once in awhile it seems as everyone seems to have lost their trust in others and refuses to get into real relationships. They just use each other for sex whenever the urge arises and they can't stand being celibate any longer. My own experience with dating was no matter who I dated I was never good looking enough, never made enough money or had a prestigious job though I did have a good job so I was never good enough and nobody wanted to be romantic and even kiss or be snuggly its all quick sex is all anyone male or female wants.
these people are looking for ONS and FWB type situations. if you're interested in something else or not into that, they say you're prude or old fashioned. that's how it is today, they love to bring up how it's "2012." nobody cares about 'romance' except those older people that got married before the invention of online porno, facebook, and FWB. they still claim it's "realistic" today. yea right.
Is being a romantic in this day and age unrealistic? Being that I've always been a romantic myself maybe I'm outdated as some others here are who are also...
Being a romantic will NEVER be unrealistic or outdated.....there should be more....
Yes. When people date it is like an icy cold business transaction. No romance at all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by reed067
Is being a romantic in this day and age unrealistic? Being that I've always been a romantic myself maybe I'm outdated as some others here are who are also...
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