Anyone rarely if ever talk to their adult brothers and sisters?

[PhenomenalAJ]

I get along well with my younger brother but I don't like his wife and he's pretty much been a gooch since he got married. I live 5 min from him but never really visit. I have a much younger brother whos a kid and I see him whenever I visit my parents.

[Audrey_M]

I come from a family of five kids. My brother, the oldest, died 14 years ago. We were Irish twins (10 months apart) and incredibly close all of our lives together. When he died, we all came together and supported each other.

My mother recently died and since then the youngest sister (YS) has been pulling away from the rest of us. Because she is not communicating with us, we do not know what is behind it. She had some issues with Mom and had superficial contact with her. YS did not go to Florida with the other sisters to settle Mom's affairs. YS drafted the obituary, which was edited and this caused a rift. We are scattered across the country and had a Skype call to try to smooth things over, but YS ripped into one sister with lots of yelling and profanity. Also told us she was f'ing tired of being treated like she knew nothing for 40 some odd years.

Things have only deteriorated since then, with no outreach prompted from her and her only responding to emails that have to to with settling Mom's estate or Dad's upcoming birthday. Responses are terse and highly impersonal.

I went through this once before with her where there was minimal contact (family gatherings only). That was broken by a medical emergency with her husband where she called me. I was surprised that she reached out to me, but raced to her and spent 5 days with her. I thought that we had built a relationship, but now it appears otherwise.

I'm tired of the drama and self-centeredness. If it weren't for my Dad, I would probably just back off from any kind of communication until she decides she may or may not want a relationship. My other sisters are equally disappointed and do not want to walk around on eggshells.

[germaine2626]

Originally Posted by Thursday007

My older brother and I talk and of course we have our tiffs, but we get over it and are supportive to each other. We are also very respective to each's relationships with different members of my family. I don't have one with my father and my brother keeps trying. We never push each other's agenda on the other.

Now my younger brother, OH MAN. Not only will he not let things go, he takes it to extremes and momma's baby needs some seriousl therapy. Just this past fourth of July I stopped at my mom's and he was there and no one else was so I said, "Come sit with me and have a chit-chat." To which I was greeted with an F-you and Go f-yourself.

One year I got him a Christmas present and he was the only person I got one for. He shows up at my house and threw it from the driveway and broke my window.

On another occasion, I got very, very sick, I couldn't stand up, sweating profusely and just wanted to fall asleep but had bed spins and I completely lost my vision...something was wrong and I was scared to death. I kept trying to call 911 but kept messing it up because I couldn't see the dials of the telephone. I started randomly hitting the autodial buttons and got him. I asked him to call up to the farm and find mom and could he come get me or call 911. He said, "Yeah, I can do that." He never shows up and no phone calls. I dialed him back and I got a "This number has been changed to an unlisted number." He never called my mother or 911, no, instead he just trotted off to his car and drove down to Florida to see my brother and SIL. During my follow up my doctor said, "you are familiar with the phrase "knocking on death's door" I said, "Yes" and he said a few more minutes and I would have been. I was literally dying from renal failure and crawled outside hoping one of my neighbors would see me and help me.

Not only did the twit not call 911, he actively participated in leaving me to die. I thought and still think it's the sickest thing a stranger let alone your own relative could do to a person. It was almost like he derived pleasure from it.

There's more, way more, but you ge the idea. So, it's pretty easy to say we not only not converse with each other - we can't even be in the same room together.

I think that your brother wins the award for WORST BROTHER of the decade (if not century).
What a terrible, terrible thing to do.
Even a person answering a wrong number would have tried to help you by clling 911.

I'm glad that you lived through that experience.

[Ulysses61]

Besides criminal activity or utter betrayal, I don't get why siblings wouldn't be good friends.

I don't talk to 2 of my 3 siblings. Haven't seen them for years and rarely think of them. There was no criminal activity or betrayal, we just live in different states and have nothing in common.

My husband hasn't spoken to is three brothers for over 20 years. They didn't accept me when he married me (neither did his parents, who influenced them negatively). Solution? He hasn't seen or spoken to them since then. No loss.

Most people I know who have adult siblings rarely see them. There's no animosity, just not a whole lot to say. Anyone who is close to their siblings when they are in middle age or older is very fortunate indeed.

[A Nonny Mouse]

My brother and I don't talk too often (maybe once a month on Facebook), but when we get together we have a great time. We were close growing up and still have that bond. It's just that neither of us is big on "checking in."

[YellowHorse]

Originally Posted by life time student

My brothers and sisters and I are very close and we talk by phone at least once a week and by email even more often. Even though we live in different cities we make an effort to see each other often.

So when I met my wife I was shocked how little she talks to her brothers and sisters. They only see each other at Christmas and don't communicate at all the rest of the year. They spend most of Christmas staring at the TV and making small talk that is incredibly shallow and boring. We put in an appearance and spend lots of time looking at our watchs figuring out why our four hour obligation seems like a lifetime. (There must be something wrong with our watches!!)

So how common is the family that only sees each other on Christmas and does not talk any other time of year?

My husband's family is like yours, always calling and gabbing on the phone, several times a week. funny though is there is often a lot of drama in his family.
My family, OTOH, rarely calls and talks to each other and often go a few years between family reunions, but, unlike your wife's family, when we get together we are a very friendly and sociable bunch and will talk late into the night. There is a lot of love in our family, we do not fight or bicker, and even the ones from opposite sides of the political/religeous spectrum get along well. We all love a good debate anyway and we are a bit odd I guess in that we don't let our emotions get in the way of disagreeing on a subject (well, the family libs can get a tad emotional , but they are not anywhere near as bad as most libs I've crossed paths with ). Though for the most part, we usually don't get into political/religeous areas of discussion, most of the time we are just playing catch up and if anyone is in any sort of need, none of us will hesitate to offer aid, whether financially or otherwise.
I was always amused and amazed at some people who seem to want to find an excuse to not visit the family for a holiday, but I guess we are a strange lot

[manyroads]

It sounds like you have a good relationship with your siblings. I kind of envy you that.

I am the oldest of the 3 kids that my parents had. After losing both of our parents back in 2003, my brother and I also lost our only sister in 2008 as a result of a car accident. You might think that as we are now the only 2 remaining in our small family, that we might have grown closer after losing our sister, but that has not happened. We seldom talk on the phone to each other; if I do try to call my brother, I usually just get his voicemail. We exchange e-mails more than phone calls, but even then it's sporadic. We live in different states (me on the east coast, him in the Rocky Mtns), and I don't think we've seen each other face-to-face since our Mom was on her deathbed back in 2003.

[Jrsygrl51]

My sisters and I don't speak either. The older is 7 years older, the younger is 5 years younger than me. When I moved to Ok after my husband was killed, neither one called me or kept up. Now, the younger only texts me when someone dies. The older one is a snake, and I couldn't care less if I ever saw her again. My Mom's dying wish was we would all get along. Sorry Ma....not happening.

[Niftybergin]

My brother and I are close in age and live about 20 minutes apart, but we see each other just a few times a year, and usually even those visits seem somewhat obligatory. We never communicate by email or phone (unless we're working out the logistics of our mom's visit or something like that). We were never close as kids -- far from it! -- and that carried into adulthood, too. As far as likes and interests go, etc., we have very little in common.

I wouldn't say that we dislike each other. It's more accurate to say that if we weren't related to one another, we would not choose to be friends. I'm just not his type of person, and he's not mine.

[rxgrrl]

I keep in pretty good touch with my sister, we are 14 months apart, but she lives several hours away from me and her life is so different from mine. But we do enjoy spending time together when we can.
My two brothers are another story. One brother is 6 years younger than me and lives 5 minutes away. I was never close to him. I don't like his wife and vice versa. So I see him maybe 2-3 times a year on holidays. Another brother is 12 years younger than me. I left home when he was 6 years old so he did not grow up with me around. He lives 3 hours away so I only see him 2-3 times a year on holidays.
I wish we were all closer but we're not.