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Old 07-11-2012, 05:32 AM
 
39 posts, read 318,304 times
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My brothers and sisters and I are very close and we talk by phone at least once a week and by email even more often. Even though we live in different cities we make an effort to see each other often.

So when I met my wife I was shocked how little she talks to her brothers and sisters. They only see each other at Christmas and don't communicate at all the rest of the year. They spend most of Christmas staring at the TV and making small talk that is incredibly shallow and boring. We put in an appearance and spend lots of time looking at our watchs figuring out why our four hour obligation seems like a lifetime. (There must be something wrong with our watches!!)

So how common is the family that only sees each other on Christmas and does not talk any other time of year?
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Old 07-11-2012, 06:14 AM
 
Location: The cupboard under the sink
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My younger brother and I never really hit it off from day one. We kinda tolerated each other, but since a huge argument we haven't spoken for some 20 years. That situation is extremely unlikely to ever change. I don't like him, he doesn't like me, and we're fine with that.

I speak to my sister fairly regularly, but we're not especially close.

My fiancee doesn't really get it, her brother and sister are practically her best friends.
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Old 07-11-2012, 06:22 AM
 
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My brother has made some very bad decisions in his life and I decided to cut him out a few years ago for my own mental sanity, so yes I rarely speak or talk to him. He is my only sibling.
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Old 07-11-2012, 06:59 AM
 
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It's not as rare as you think. Just because you are bound by blood doesn't mean that you have to LIKE each other. I think the important thing that matters is if you are there when needed.

My sister and I don't get along, even though we are close in age. Different personalities, mostly. And it seems that we both have totally different versions of our childhoods, even though we grew up together.

My husband came from a great family, and while he can't relate to my lack of contact, he doesn't judge me for it. He understands that my lack of a close nuclear family makes me appreciate our family all the more.
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Old 07-11-2012, 07:01 AM
 
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That is common. I have half brothers I never talk to, I friended them on Facebook, that is enough.
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Old 07-11-2012, 07:02 AM
 
Location: Texas
43,533 posts, read 52,616,956 times
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I don't understand it, either.

Besides criminal activity or utter betrayal, I don't get why siblings wouldn't be good friends.

But it was something our parents drilled into us from day one - that when they were gone, we would have each other to lean on, count on, relate to...

It's also another person who knows you pretty much your whole life and shares your history.
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Old 07-11-2012, 07:06 AM
 
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Well in my situation it was drug addiction, jail time and BEYOND betrayal. Luckily my boyfriend isn't very close with his 3 sisters, so we're kind of on the same page with the family situation.
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Old 07-11-2012, 07:12 AM
 
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I don't understand what's so hard to understand.

Different personalities, different ways of looking at life. Growing up in the same family does not prevent this from occurring. Would you be friends with someone who with a totally opposite disposition and personality? Would you be friends with someone you couldn't hold a conversation with without it turning into an argument?

As for shared history, what if that history was negative?
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Old 07-11-2012, 07:20 AM
 
Location: The cupboard under the sink
3,942 posts, read 7,543,776 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
It's also another person who knows you pretty much your whole life and shares your history.
There are 3 years between me and my brother.
We like different music, we have different friends, growing up, I liked to watch and play sport, he didn't, we have different taste in clothes, TV, films, sense of humour, pretty much everything.

Until there was an argument, it wasn't that we didn't like each other, we just had absolutely zero in common. We had zero shared interests, so instead of spending time with him, I'd spend it with folks who did share my interests, so would he.

We don't know each other at all, and never have. he's also never shared my history because we've largely had different histories.

When the argument began, I quickly realised that another thing we don't have in common is that I'm not a petty, lying, backstabbing selfish twisted narcissist.

My sister is 6 years younger, and does share many of my interests, consequently we were able to hang out much more, and do have more of a history together, hence why we're much closer.

Last edited by bobman; 07-11-2012 at 07:30 AM..
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Old 07-11-2012, 07:44 AM
 
Location: NoVa
18,433 posts, read 29,474,042 times
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I talk to my sister once a week or so and to my brother probably every other week or so. Neither of them like the computer so there is no e mail! My other brother has a wife who does not get along with me so we see eachother on Thanksgiving only. My other family members get invited to the kids parties and get their pictures in the mail and I do not.

My sister tries to intervene but at this point, after 12 years, I am over it.

I have another sister who just stopped talking to us all.

My family is made up of a combined family. The first three mentioned were my moms kids, the last one mentioned was my dads, and I have a brother who was his that passed away several years ago.

Then they married and my parents had me.
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