Should I be upset my dad died? (father, person, brother)
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So I went to visit my mom last week & had a great time seeing my mom after a year. The night before I left she told me that my dad had died back in 2000. I had always assumed that he was already dead because he never got his diabetes under control. It didn't even phase me one bit my mom cried & looked at me like I was some kind of monster. I let her rant for a bit & slowly explained why I wasn't upset. Now before you judge me let me explain the type of person my dad was. He was a genius he could do ANYTHING he set his mind too. With that said he didn't use it for anything good. He had a way of getting people to do anything he wanted mentally or psychically abusing them. My mom & I included I was taken from school which I was doing well in finally. While we did travel A LOT & I got to see most things teenagers didn't I was also robbed of having any real life or real friends. Last time I heard from him was 20 years ago. Yes same time I was seeing that one girl. He had finally got busted from running a scam & has in prison for the last 5 years. He was about to get out & the VERY first question he asked me was how much money did I have & how much can I raise. It hit me right then & there that I didn't want this man to be in my life anymore & told him to get bent & stay out of my life.
So what do you all think should I be grieving over such a bad father? Does this make me a bad person?
you did good ----------- tupac sung a song about this and lycris went like this
" cause my hate would not let me feel for a stranger" the song is dear momma
one of my favorite............... it talk about his love for this momma for staying around and dealing with life ........... he hardly mention the cowards we have as fathers.......
u take care ......... and u did good --your suppose to care about the people that care for u
So I went to visit my mom last week & had a great time seeing my mom after a year. The night before I left she told me that my dad had died back in 2000.
Did she not know he'd died in 2000 until recently? Because I don't understand how someone could neglect to tell you that for 12 years and then wonder why you're not upset about finding out. She must have already known it wasn't important to you and it must not have been that important to her either if she didn't bother to tell you for 12 years! If she didn't know until recently, he obviously was not a part of her life any more either - 12 years and she didn't even know he was dead! So either way, I don't know why she'd expect you to get all emotional - either way, she knows it's not of huge importance to either of you.
If it were me, I think I'd feel a sadness, not so much for his death but for the sad life he chose to lead. It's sad that he never turned it around, never became a better person, a better father, etc. But everyone is different, I don't judge you for not being upset.
YOu just have to be honest. If someones death doesn't phase you, for what ever reason that may be; than you just have to be honest about it. I don't see anything wrong with that.
A friend of mines mother is on the verge of dying and this friend told me that she's not bothered by it because her mom was so mean to her and misstreated her abit when she was a little girl.
Did she not know he'd died in 2000 until recently? Because I don't understand how someone could neglect to tell you that for 12 years and then wonder why you're not upset about finding out. She must have already known it wasn't important to you and it must not have been that important to her either if she didn't bother to tell you for 12 years! If she didn't know until recently, he obviously was not a part of her life any more either - 12 years and she didn't even know he was dead! So either way, I don't know why she'd expect you to get all emotional - either way, she knows it's not of huge importance to either of you.
She told me she thought she had found him in Fla of all places one day over the phone. Including my half brother & sister. I didn't budge in any direction I made my peace with the fact that he was already dead to me so in the end I was ready for my mom knew for sure.
My dad, whom I hadn't seen in years, had died 5 years before I knew and, honestly, I felt nothing. I had no bond with him.
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