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So I went out with a guy on two dates and I just wanna be friends with him...he's cool and all, but not really my type. Plus he's shorter than me (I'm 5'1") and I'm having a hard time getting over that.
There are some other reasons why I don't wanna date him but we'll leave it at that for now...however, I just moved to a new city and I'm open to having new friends. It's always been hard for me to make male friends. And I feel like at my age, I should know how to handle this type of situation, but I don't.
He's already asked me out on a third "date", and I don't know 'how' to say no...I'd rather us not date but simply be friends, chill amongst his friends and mine, etc...I only have a few male friends and the older I get, the hard I find it is to befriend men on a platonic basis.
Anyways, suggestions on how to handle the situation? I absolutely hate hurting people's feelings, but I also hate the thought of leading a person on just as much....
Don't lead him on. Just be honest and move on. His intention was to make this a dating relationship- I wouldn't think he's interested in something platonic. That would be keeping him from other relationships he could be pursuing.
I agree with all the above, and better sooner than later. The longer you put this off, the more it's going to hurt him. Besides that, he probably has a hunch that you feel hesitant, and if he's really into you, this is going to worry him, make him feel insecure, and maybe bring out less than positive traits and emotions in him -which isn't good for you or him.
He is probably a nice guy, but that's not reason enough to date him!
You should definitely be willing to tell him how you feel sooner instead of later. He should be willing to respect your decision, too. However, disappointment is a common human emotion, so don't be too hard on him if he is a little down after you talk to him. He may even decide that it's better to not be friends. If he has an interest in you and it is not mutual, it will be that much harder for him to be around you in a casual setting and may want to distance himself from you for that reason. Be ready to not like his reaction, but ultimately it is best to be open and honest about the situation.
Try to let him down easy. Forget the friend thing.
*sigh*
It's hard to make platonic male friends....at least for me it is. I need more guy friends in my life...not friends with benefits, not friends that have an interest in me or me in them...just good, fun, dependable male friends.
It's hard to make platonic male friends....at least for me it is. I need more guy friends in my life...not friends with benefits, not friends that have an interest in me or me in them...just good, fun, dependable male friends.
After college, don't expect to hang out with guys all the time unless it is a romantic relationship. You can't have your cake and eat it too. I am not going to invest a whole lot of time in a female friend unless I find her attractive. Why would I in my self-interest spend hours each week with you if physical intimacy (from 1st base to home run) isn't an option, because I'm altruistic? Your ideals of platonic male friendships seem rather naive.
Try to befriend gay guys then. Even then, that's difficult since everything is platonic with them.
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