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Old 07-15-2012, 11:03 PM
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 45,384,878 times
Reputation: 11862


Is it just me or does it seem popular for a lot of people to say they were 'unpopular', outcasts, or bullied in high school, for the cred? While once it was seen as a good thing to say 'I was popular in high school' boast about being captain of the football team or 'homecoming queen' (which is an American thing) nowadays a lot of people, especially if they want to seem all 'alternative', and non-mainstream, like to play up how different they were. Some say they don't have any friends. I'm not saying they're MAKING IT UP, but do you think there are people who exaggerate a little to seem somehow cooler?

I truly had literally no true friends in high school. My lunchtimes were spent in the library. I missed out on all the drama but also on all the 'rites of passages' that kids are 'supposed' to go through. First kiss? Not at 14, but 24. First girlfriend? Still hasn't happened. While I had more friends in uni I've never had a regular social life since primary school. Dunno how prevalent this is, but it would be annoying for someone who still had lots of friends to say they had no friends in high school just so people thought they had 'overcome the odds' or to prove they are not 'popular' therefore, less likely to be the stereotypical 'bullies.'
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Old 07-15-2012, 11:05 PM
Location: Alexandria, VA
729 posts, read 1,303,768 times
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Look at all the people that were outcasts in high school that are now rich, famous, ladies men, etc. No wonder it's popular to say.
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Old 07-16-2012, 01:52 AM
Location: Montgomery County, MD
3,240 posts, read 3,286,412 times
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It's changed a lot, used to be an uncool thing to say but now its cool since nerds like Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg are looked up to and nerd culture is mainstream. Most people felt like outcasts in high school whether they were or not because they always perceived someone else being the popular kids. I thought I was an outcast in hs because I was an intellectual/honors student but I had a lot of good friends and I had an active social life and went to parties but I thought I was an outcast because I didn't get a ton of girls. People who were not in the most popular group in the school think of themselves as outcasts although they really weren't.
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Old 07-16-2012, 02:29 AM
Location: Colorado (PA at heart)
8,916 posts, read 13,662,247 times
Reputation: 11560
I don't "play up" anything. By senior year of high school, I had no friends, only a few acquaintances, didn't go to my senior prom, sat alone at lunch, and on occasion was actually having panic attacks in the mornings before school (which made me miss the bus and my mom had to drive me in). I admit that earlier in my schooling, I had a group of friends and didn't consider myself a "loner" at all. But by senior year, one of my friends had moved to a different school, one developed more popular friends and ditched our "group". Two others were wrapped up in their boyfriends so I was like a third/fifth wheel when with them. And the last in our group I was never that close with and she had other friends so we drifted apart. And by senior year, everyone already had their friends so no one was interested in making new ones.

I can't speak for every school but my school was huge - about 900 kids per grade. Logically, that means most of them weren't popular. That doesn't mean they were outcasts and I think my experience was not the norm. But when most of them say they were not popular, I believe it. The whole basis of a "popular group" is that they are an elite few.
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Old 07-16-2012, 08:37 AM
Location: Brooklyn,NY
10,614 posts, read 13,149,027 times
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Default I was.

Unpopular at school. I went to a High School in Brooklyn that was run down but popular in itself. I had long hair and hung out with the heavy metal crowd, About 6 of us. There were all these cliques with the largest being the hangers on of the kids who were well off, Athletes, And had cars before they could watch an R rated movie. I think most people were not popular actually. Many were content being part of their group and even maintaining lasting friendships from it. I am still to this day close with 2 of the guys from back then. Only good thing I took from that crumbling hellhole and it's thugs and d-bags.
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Old 07-16-2012, 09:45 AM
Location: St. Louis
9,595 posts, read 17,176,886 times
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It's hard to say whether people are saying it to be cool or whether they spent years being ashamed of it and no longer are. That is true of me--I was the class reject and dropped out of high school because of it--ran wild in my teen years b/c of several factors--my pain at my unpopularity, undx'ed ADD, and then after years of being called ugly I suddenly got very cute and didn't know how to handle the male attention, etc. I finally came to my senses and have struggled ever since but I'm now happier in my 50's than I've ever been and the high school years are like a bad dream that I'd rather not think about most times. I work in a high school though and have noticed that few are popular but almost all have more social skills than I had, or so it seems.
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Old 07-17-2012, 10:38 AM
5,702 posts, read 16,190,575 times
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Society always goes from one extreme to the other. Years ago people didnt want to admit they weren't popular because it meant one is weak. Now being a victim is considered unique. The reality is most people weren't popular in high school. There is only one prom king and one prom queen. The rash of violence in schools has also provided some insight on how some truly suffer. Being popular in my opinion is not a great way to start out defining who you are. I have seen kids completely crushed after leaving high school thinking that life will embrace them just as well as the few hundred kids they went to school with. They get out in the real world and find out they are just as average as everyone else.
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Old 07-17-2012, 10:40 AM
Location: Texas
43,558 posts, read 52,667,627 times
Reputation: 70811
I don't think it's pc to say you were popular in high school (like dbag bragging), so they only thing you're going to hear on this subject is if someone thought they were unpopular.

I don't think the situation is an either/or proposition, though.

I think some people are 'popular,' as in everyone knows them (though this did not happen at my high school because there were just too many people - 1390 in our graduating class) and some people may feel ostracized. But most people just have their group of friends and go about their business happy-pappy.
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Old 07-17-2012, 11:44 AM
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 45,384,878 times
Reputation: 11862
^ Well I'm not so much talking about not being part of that elite group, but of being very UNPOPULAR. Sure the majority aren't that top 10% of whatever, but the majority aren't constantly bullied, ostracized. They still have friends.etc.
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Old 07-17-2012, 01:06 PM
Location: Finally escaped The People's Republic of California
11,119 posts, read 7,568,813 times
Reputation: 6217
Sad truth is that most of those really "cool" popular people have already lived the best four years of thier life.......
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