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I agree with TraceyS about the way [many] modern parents make their children the center of their lives, rather than modeling healthy "normal" adult lives to show their children how to be adults rather than obsessing over every detail and every sniffle. My brother and his wife are helicopter parents like this. Our parents certainly weren't.
But I also am not at all offended by parents' facebook posts about their kids and would block somebody's feed if they annoyed me. Same goes for people that don't like others' pet pictures - block the feed and get over it!
1) You're part of the human race (so self-loathing)
2) Wherever you go, there you are.
You might try some cognitive therapy - which focuses on changing your thought patterns as opposed to analysis.
This (my) thread is about marital status and Facebook usage patterns. It's not the place for you to tell a complete stranger to get therapy, unless THEY were asking for that advice.
We talked about this in a few other threads. It doesn't seem to be universal, as you point out, but many of us know people with kids who say "I would never leave my child with someone who is not a family member." You might even see that in posts in the other threads. When we were kids, our parents would scrape up any teenage girl with a pulse and pay her to watch the kids.
The other thing we discussed in those same threads, is how nowadays, we rarely see teenagers who want to babysit. Again, I'm sure it's not universal, but increasingly common that babysitting is a no-no. One of the recent threads was about co-workers bringing children to after work happy hours at restaurant-bars, because they did not want to get a babysitter. I had thought it was just the people I knew, but evidently it's happening a lot.
I saw the other thread you are talking about. In my own experiences it is hard to get a sitter at the last minute if someone comes up with spur of the moment plans. I don't approve of the happy hour situation, but I think it is also one of those situations where it can be a no win for people no matter what choice they make.
What is different about now though is that almost everyone I know has has their children is some sort of daycare experience if both parents work...so it isn't they are never with "strangers". Even school age kids could be in some sort of before/aftercare program for 10+ hours.
That is a little different than comparing things when we were kids and the moms were with the kids basically 24/7.
It is correct that teenage girls don't desire to babysit as often. We had a few that we used and they were just as likely to turn down a babysitting job as they were to accept it.
See, now in my circle of friends and acquaintances, most of the moms are stay-at-home moms, and the kids do not get daycare. The moms are with the kids all day, and for reasons unknown to me, also want to be with them int he evenings when adults get together. If I spent all day with kids, I'd want to get away from them at night! But that's just me.
I guess we all make assumptions about what's typical of parents, just going by the people we know.
Like I said, most of my acquaintances who are mothers are not working, and seemingly post on Facebook for much of the day while spending time with the kids (and evidently reading badly-written erotic novels by the pool). Most are married, and the husbands support the family. And the ones who are divorced pretty much still have the ex supporting them.
I think on my FB friends list of about 190 people (pretty small), I only have 2 single moms who work. And now that I think about it, those two only post about their children once in a while, and mostly post about their work, hobbies, and interests.
I have both single friends and married friends. The point is, they are my friends. I don't care children, no children divorced, whatever. If you post something I like or is interesting to me, I'll comment.
Until you have kids it is so easy to criticize, question, judge and get frustrated by those of us that do. If you become a parent you'll smack yourself for pretty much everything you said or thought
I don't know but I just posted some AWESOME senior photos of my son on FB. A professional photographer took some action shots and they are a work of art.
Who could not appreciate that? And I wasn't obnoxious about it - only two. I love that my friends took one second to look at them and make a comment.
Heck, I'll look at your cat video if it's cute! I might even share it if it's really cute.
I guess it's just a different outlook on life. I don't spend one second of my time thinking that my friends, single or married, are jealous of me. They aren't. Everyone has their own thing going on.
I think FaceBook brings a new twist to the relationships between those with kids and those without - in the past, baby and other photos would really only be shared among close friends and family - passed around in person, sent in a card, or emailed directly.
On Facebook, things are just "posted" for anyone to see. So, its a bit more impersonal than being handed a photo to look at, or even emailed a photo. Thus, I can understand why one side of this equation might feel "bombarded" by pictures of children at times, while the other side might feel slighted that the pics they post don't yield the response they hope for.
I think the impersonality of the medium is mostly to blame in this case.
I think FaceBook brings a new twist to the relationships between those with kids and those without - in the past, baby and other photos would really only be shared among close friends and family - passed around in person, sent in a card, or emailed directly.
On Facebook, things are just "posted" for anyone to see. So, its a bit more impersonal than being handed a photo to look at, or even emailed a photo. Thus, I can understand why one side of this equation might feel "bombarded" by pictures of children at times, while the other side might feel slighted that the pics they post don't yield the response they hope for.
I think the impersonality of the medium is mostly to blame in this case.
Beautiful post. The middle paragraph says it all.
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