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View Poll Results: I have had a CLOSE friendship end via text or email?
YES 4 23.53%
NO 13 76.47%
Voters: 17. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 08-11-2012, 11:56 AM
 
9 posts, read 20,251 times
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I have noticed a change in how people communicate in the Internet age. More people are avoiding face to face discussion and instead doing most of their conversation via text and email.

When my best friend moved 60 miles away we saw less and less of each other. But we still sent lots of emails. Today she sent me an email telling me she does not want to be friends anymore and she was ending all communication. We had had some disagreements recently but I did not see this comming.

At least it was not the passive aggressive approach to ending friendships so common today. (avoiding phone calls and not replying to texts and emails in a timely manner) but don't you think if someone wants to end a close friendship they should talk face to face?

How about you? Have you had a CLOSE friendship end over email or text?
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Old 08-11-2012, 10:17 PM
 
2,761 posts, read 4,140,001 times
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No, i havent had a friendship end via text or email.
If you met in persno, what is going to be said....
"sorry, we can't be friends anymore."

Honestly, I think the cutting off communication method is best here. Because although passive aggresive, at least it kinda leaves the door open for a friendship down the road.
Not to say that your friend won't contact you at some point and say "hi", but for some reason or another, your friend has decided to put a hard stop to the friendship.

This might be a good time to rethink the friendship. What whent wrong? Did you do something to provoke such a decision?

If not, then chalk it up as a friendship that dissolved over time. It happens all the time.
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Old 08-12-2012, 02:54 AM
 
9 posts, read 20,251 times
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I think that in most cases it would be hard to end a real close same sex friendship the passive aggressive way (slow to return emails or phone calls, avoidance etc.) because we were used to talking 4-5 times a week and there would be lots of hurt and urgent calls wondering if something had happened. I think ending the relationship that is that close formally is a good idea but by email? I think the face to face approach is better. What do you think?
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Old 08-12-2012, 07:34 AM
 
16,019 posts, read 19,670,751 times
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I'm curious about those hurt and urgent calls...Were you the one calling her....or was she calling you?
RE; Your question: I had a friend, least I had thought she was a close friend, for about 15 years. It seems likely that it was more one sided as I look back..I had at times rescued her financially...spent a week w/ her, because she asked as she needed the help packing for her cross country move about 8 years ago(she has severe RA). Then for the first few months after her move I got those mass emails...I asked at some point for her to write me and let me know how things were going. She never did, a couple of years went by w/ just mass emails...I did see her on facebook when I finally got a facebook page last year, so messaged her. She friended me but still didn't write or message me, just invited me to play several facebook games. I did that for about a year, hoping that the couple of messages where she said she'd call were true. I have finally decided, after seeing her post so many pics of her "new" friends...that she isn't the type to stay in touch long distance. I will always wonder why? But, I don't dwell on it. I am the type that only has a few close friends...and to lose a friendship for any reason is hard for me....but in my life the reality is that most folks just don't keep up...it is hit and miss. So, I relish the times I do get to see my couple of friends. When I go home to Calif. (moved 30 years ago) I so enjoy those old friends that I made in my 20's...it is like we just saw each other the week before, no discomfort...just laughter. But, those are the same friends that didn't write letters, or send Christmas cards back so many years ago. Anyway...If I were you, I would at least want to know the why. Hope all goes well for you.
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Old 08-12-2012, 01:26 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,022 posts, read 54,523,130 times
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I had a friendship I would like to have ended via email because the former friend is an alcoholic and this way there was a shot that she might have actually read what I wrote in a sober moment. I don't think it would have really helped, though, except to make ME feel as if I'd expressed myself. She lost her Internet and pretty much everything else because of her drinking, although she still had a phone and called me incessantly, always drunk, of course.

I just finally blocked her from calling me. Having a phone conversation would not have helped, as she likely wouldn't have remembered it, and she had gotten so wet-brained that she would repeat sentences over and over, unaware that she'd just said the same thing a moment ago. She somehow found my home phone number, even though I've moved, because it's listed, and six and eight months back left a couple of messages pretending that she wants to "make amends", but it's obvious that she's drunk when she leaves the messages. I just pretend that she is already dead and try to remember the good times we had when she was sober for a number of years. Maybe she is dead, I don't know. I hope so. It was a terrible thing to see her deteriorate, and it was to the point that even if she quit drinking, the brain damage was so far along that she wouldn't have made sense anymore anyway.
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Old 08-12-2012, 01:30 PM
 
Location: southern california
55,659 posts, read 74,595,623 times
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i looked up childhood best friend, after 50 years, he wanted to know why i was calling.
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Old 08-12-2012, 06:21 PM
 
Location: Tucson for awhile longer
8,872 posts, read 13,545,637 times
Reputation: 29032
I once had a "best friend" just disappear with no explanation. An E-mail would have been a step up.
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Old 08-12-2012, 10:45 PM
 
2,681 posts, read 6,263,435 times
Reputation: 4143
Default wow...

Quote:
Originally Posted by internal-logic View Post
I have noticed a change in how people communicate in the Internet age. More people are avoiding face to face discussion and instead doing most of their conversation via text and email.

When my best friend moved 60 miles away we saw less and less of each other. But we still sent lots of emails. Today she sent me an email telling me she does not want to be friends anymore and she was ending all communication. We had had some disagreements recently but I did not see this comming.

At least it was not the passive aggressive approach to ending friendships so common today. (avoiding phone calls and not replying to texts and emails in a timely manner) but don't you think if someone wants to end a close friendship they should talk face to face?

How about you? Have you had a CLOSE friendship end over email or text?
you must have really ticked her off...
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Old 08-13-2012, 03:53 AM
 
Location: New York, NY
1,629 posts, read 2,366,856 times
Reputation: 2411
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jukesgrrl View Post
I once had a "best friend" just disappear with no explanation. An E-mail would have been a step up.
Honey, I had that too. After a 10 year friendship went dead with no response, I took the hint and moved on after my messages went unreturned. He popped up 9 months later. No explanation or apology and wanted to hang out like nothing happened. I couldn't accept that bizarre callous treatment and declined his "friendship".

I understand her decision to end the friendship by email OP, because she lives far away. A phone call would be nicer but, eh, email is better than 'the fade'. Sorry.
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Old 08-13-2012, 10:45 AM
 
Location: Colorado
4,308 posts, read 11,801,772 times
Reputation: 4425
I ended a friendship by email because I knew from years of experience that talking in person with her would be a recipe for disaster. My "friend" was a bully. She could be mean, insensitive and totally refused to listen to anyone who wouldn't do things her way. She had zero empathy. I knew if I tried talking with her face to face it would just degenerate into a screaming match with me in hysterics and absolutely nothing resolved. I did apologise profusely for being such a coward, but I just couldn't do it any other way.
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