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I hate being carded! I'm so far past 21 it isn't funny, but in some places where youngsters go they want to card people who have full heads of gray hair and it's stupid. I'm fairly certain there aren't many 18 year old who happen to look 50.
Not being carded feels good. It feels like I have arrived, I am an adult. It's crazy in the youth obsessed society where if a woman doesn't look like she's in her 20s she's already considered old. Looking like a woman and not a child does not mean you are old!
I hate being carded! I'm so far past 21 it isn't funny, but in some places where youngsters go they want to card people who have full heads of gray hair and it's stupid. I'm fairly certain there aren't many 18 year old who happen to look 50.
Not being carded feels good. It feels like I have arrived, I am an adult. It's crazy in the youth obsessed society where if a woman doesn't look like she's in her 20s she's already considered old. Looking like a woman and not a child does not mean you are old!
They do it because it's required by law. If they let someone off and someone happened to rat them out to the law the establishment could lose it's liquor licence, which would be disastrous if it was a bar.
You can make ma'am age-neutral by calling everyone ma'am, at least here in the US. That's what I do.
Absolutely. It isn't meant to show respect for age, just the person. I've called little girls "ma'am" just to teach them manners. And I know it's not 100% relevant to the topic; but I must say I worked directly with one of the head honchos at my job today and I never once called him "Sir".
...See? "Ma'am" and "Sir" are all about how much respect you have for a person
I just don't like it, never have and never will. I was doing a live chat with my cable co. and the rep kept answering each question with ma'am and it irked me because it was unnecessary. It's especially annoying when someone who is clearly older than you calls you 'ma'am'. I see it this way,you can call me by my name, Miss, or don't call me at all....just don't call me 'ma'am'.
I do it on a subconscious level, I don't really think about it, but I was raised to address women I don't know as either "miss" or "ma'am." If I almost bump into a lady when I'm walking I'll say "Oh, pardon me ma'am." If I'm finishing a phone call with a woman I'll usually end it with "Thank you ma'am, have a good day." I've never gotten a bad reaction from it (I don't think so at least) but I've read a few anecdotes from men about getting bad looks or even being told not to address someone as "ma'am."
So what's the BFD? Why do some take offense to being shown respect?
Growing up in the south, NOT using ma'am, sir, Mr or Mrs. especially as a child would get you in trouble, esp in school.
Additionally, it's not uncommon to address older women as Ms (first name)
I do it on a subconscious level, I don't really think about it, but I was raised to address women I don't know as either "miss" or "ma'am." If I almost bump into a lady when I'm walking I'll say "Oh, pardon me ma'am." If I'm finishing a phone call with a woman I'll usually end it with "Thank you ma'am, have a good day." I've never gotten a bad reaction from it (I don't think so at least) but I've read a few anecdotes from men about getting bad looks or even being told not to address someone as "ma'am."
So what's the BFD? Why do some take offense to being shown respect?
If you're never going to be standing in the shoes of a woman dealing with society's ageist attitudes, maybe there is no BFD. To you, that is.
I admire the elegant ways of countries in Europe. They address their mature women with titles like "Madame" "Senora" "Senorigna" The terms sound respectful AND flattering, and romantic! I had the "ma'am" term tossed as me as the speaker were annoyed he or she had to deal with me. A lot of people say the term is respectful, but it is not said with a respectful tone.
If you're never going to be standing in the shoes of a woman dealing with society's ageist attitudes, maybe there is no BFD. To you, that is.
I admire the elegant ways of countries in Europe. They address their mature women with titles like "Madame" "Senora" "Senorigna" The terms sound respectful AND flattering, and romantic! I had the "ma'am" term tossed as me as the speaker were annoyed he or she had to deal with me. A lot of people say the term is respectful, but it is not said with a respectful tone.
Probably because the service person is told to say ma'am but is paid almost nothing and has no incentive to be real nice to you. So it comes out kind of wrong. But generally I was raised as a gentlemen and use the term for older ladies quite a lot. I have had mostly good responses but some ladies sort of giggle I'm making them feel old, but not in a terrible way.
Probably because the service person is told to say ma'am but is paid almost nothing and has no incentive to be real nice to you. So it comes out kind of wrong. But generally I was raised as a gentlemen and use the term for older ladies quite a lot. I have had mostly good responses but some ladies sort of giggle I'm making them feel old, but not in a terrible way.
I get what you're saying, but what kind of world do we live in when people stop doing good for the inherent value of doing good? I'm polite and respectful to people and no one pays me to do it. I was raised to think and act this way. And I like what I project when I am polite and respectful, even when I don't receive that in response at times.
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To you, that is.
I had the "ma'am" term tossed as me as the speaker were annoyed he or she had to deal with me. A lot of people say the term is respectful, but it is not said with a respectful tone.
