Roommate issue - Am I being unreasonable? (money)

[CSD610]

The first time she did not take a bath or clean up after herself or left her socks on the floor I would have started trying to boot her out the door OR started looking for my own place. I would rather live in a 2 room closet than a situation like that but I am not tolerant of pigs living inside the place I call my home.

Right now though it looks like pigs invaded my kitchen but I was too tired after cooking and eating supper last night to get the kitchen cleaned up but the clean up will happen within the next hour or so. Then I can trash the kitchen again from cooking breakfast...........LOL

[zentropa]

Originally Posted by deecbee

I guess there are other issues factoring into my anger here... she doesn't do laundry. She has been there for 3 months and she reeks. She never cleans, she never buys anything for the apartment, my stuff will disappear and then magically reappear. I've been patient with her so I guess I figure that she could AT LEAST grant me my sleep.

OK, there is it. I was waiting for the festering resentments to surface from behind the smokescreen of the non-issue...

As we used to say in college when someone would complain about roommates, noise, etc... "that's dorm living, baby!"

Don't like it? move.

[karen_in_nh_2012]

Honestly, I don't understand the posters who are saying or implying that the OP is being unreasonable. IF IT WERE SIMPLY A DORM ROOM, i.e., just ONE ROOM that both have to share, then yes, I would suggest the eye masks and earplugs and everything else. BUT THERE'S A WHOLE OTHER ROOM. Why on earth wouldn't the roommate just go to the other room? Back in my college roommate days, if I had a whole other room to go to and my roommate wanted to sleep, I would have just gone to the other room -- it would not have occurred to me to stay when there was a whole other room I could use. I am scratching my head trying to figure out what is so hard about that, or why it is unreasonable to ask the roommate to do that.

[Roselvr]

Originally Posted by karen_in_nh_2012

Honestly, I don't understand the posters who are saying or implying that the OP is being unreasonable. IF IT WERE SIMPLY A DORM ROOM, i.e., just ONE ROOM that both have to share, then yes, I would suggest the eye masks and earplugs and everything else. BUT THERE'S A WHOLE OTHER ROOM. Why on earth wouldn't the roommate just go to the other room? Back in my college roommate days, if I had a whole other room to go to and my roommate wanted to sleep, I would have just gone to the other room -- it would not have occurred to me to stay when there was a whole other room I could use. I am scratching my head trying to figure out what is so hard about that, or why it is unreasonable to ask the roommate to do that.

Because people suck these days with having common courtesy; no matter how much the OP gives to the roommate; apparently they're the only one that matters here. I'm scratching my head too because she's the newbie & should be on her best behavior; especially since she's not working & obviously not paying her share.

I've found that with anyone; 2 weeks is the limit with watching their manners; after that; they get comfortable & you see how they're really like from week 3 on. I've considered having a few people move in to our spare room & always have them stay 2-3 weeks & once that 2 week point is up; I've noticed that they start taking over the house & want us to adapt to them.

I like the comment below. Simple but says it.

Originally Posted by KittenSparkles

She sucks.

The end.

[deecbee]

Originally Posted by johnrain

OP, why didn't you screen your roomate more thoroughly?

I didn't realize that the manager wasn't going to let me have a say-so. The way it's set up, we have separate leases and the manager interviews people. I was under the impression that I'd at least get to MEET the roommate before she moved in... but I walked in one day and voila! There she was. I'm going to ask the manager if next time I can at least meet the new roommate before.

[Roselvr]

Originally Posted by deecbee

I didn't realize that the manager wasn't going to let me have a say-so. The way it's set up, we have separate leases and the manager interviews people. I was under the impression that I'd at least get to MEET the roommate before she moved in... but I walked in one day and voila! There she was. I'm going to ask the manager if next time I can at least meet the new roommate before.

Wow! You don't even have a say?

[MaggieZ]

What? I would never have someone else decide who I'm sharing my home with. That's ludicrous! You better get a new place asap..that manager is not kosher

[germaine2626]

Originally Posted by MaggieZ

What? I would never have someone else decide who I'm sharing my home with. That's ludicrous! You better get a new place asap..that manager is not kosher

Although, it is unusual I have heard of places that work this way. The one advantage is that you don't have to pay all of the rent if your room mate leaves or stops paying her rent.

Since the OP didn't choose the room mate maybe management would be more likely to intervene in the situation.

[zentropa]

Move out of student housing and get a longer private lease.

[katestar]

People have no common courtesy these days! I don't think you are unreasonable, living together requires compromise, obviously she doesn't get that. Since she is just a roommate, beat her at her own game. Since she doesn't buy anything for the house, get stuff for yourself and lock it up; since she sleeps from 5am-noon, come it an 9am and start blasting music; if she doesn't wash her clothes put them in a garbage bag and say that either she washes them or gets them our of the apartment, or you'll do it for her (the getting them out of the apartment part).

I know these are somewhat childish things, but she deserves it. Some people don't get it and never will, no reason you have to tolerate any of this since you've been very accomodating. And that whole using your stuff would tick me off...say to her in a very firm way that she is not to use it all...if you find it was used, you will start selling her stuff to pay for it.