Whats the point of being nice? (person, deleted, meeting, feel)

[Debsi]

Originally Posted by stan4

You're not nice to get some kind of reward or elicit a response.
You're nice because it's the responsible thing to do to create and perpetuate a pleasant environment and community.
You're nice because it's always best to be true to yourself - don't be hateful out of pride. Then you'll be even unhappier.
You're nice because your niceness will rub off on others - you may not get to see the result, but someone else out there will reap the benefits.
You're nice because it makes you feel good on the inside.

And frankly, in terms of rewards, the world really is kinder to people who are liked and are nice.

Great post. I'd also add these words:

You can be part of the problem or part of the solution.

[cpg35223]

Originally Posted by L'Artiste

I'm starting to realize there isn't much point in being nice because most people are Moderator cut: deleted who don't care. Being nice has taught me, that people choose to trample over you, rather than just cooperate. Is there really a point? The mean and/or evil people seem to be doing well in life. They have the jobs and the friends and women/men . Being good and nice is not working for me, maybe I should be mean/bad, then maybe then I can have good things ...

Oh, baloney. Stop with the self-pity. Being nice and having a backbone are not mutually exclusive propositions. If people are walking all over you, that means you're being weak, not nice. Enormous difference.

[chilaili]

I firmly believe in Karma. What goes around comes around and sooner or later, people who do bad will have to pay. It may take a long time, but it will happen. I know there are people who think being nice = being weak, but sometimes it takes more strength to smile and walk away than to scream and rant. And remember, apologising is not a sign of weakness; not apologising is a sign of massive insecurity.

[L'Artiste]

Originally Posted by cpg35223

Oh, baloney. Stop with the self-pity. Being nice and having a backbone are not mutually exclusive propositions. If people are walking all over you, that means you're being weak, not nice. Enormous difference.

thanks for proving my point about being nice, i get people like you.. leave me alone

[cpg35223]

Originally Posted by L'Artiste

thanks for proving my point about being nice, i get people like you.. leave me alone

No, I actually have backbone enough to tell you the awful truth. I'm actually helping you by telling you this. I've sat in many a business meeting with Grade A Moderator cut: deleted and gotten my way gracefully without having to raise my voice, swear, or generally bluster about. Guess what? The Moderator cut: deleted of the world come and go. The people who keep their cool remain.

[kandle]

Originally Posted by L'Artiste

I'm starting to realize there isn't much point in being nice because most people are Moderator cut: deleted who don't care. Being nice has taught me, that people choose to trample over you, rather than just cooperate. Is there really a point? The mean and/or evil people seem to be doing well in life. They have the jobs and the friends and women/men . Being good and nice is not working for me, maybe I should be mean/bad, then maybe then I can have good things ...

I think I'm nice but everyone who knows me knows that I'm assertive as well. If being nice is who you are then rock it and don't let anyone change that - especially people who have no vested interest in your life. Stand up for yourself whenever you need to though and keep on!

[L'Artiste]

Originally Posted by kandle

I think I'm nice but everyone who knows me knows that I'm assertive as well. If being nice is who you are then rock it and don't let anyone change that - especially people who have no vested interest in your life. Stand up for yourself whenever you need to though and keep on!

Originally Posted by cpg35223

No, I actually have backbone enough to tell you the awful truth. I'm actually helping you by telling you this. I've sat in many a business meeting with Grade A a-holes and gotten my way gracefully without having to raise my voice, swear, or generally bluster about. Guess what? The a-holes of the world come and go. The people who keep their cool remain.

i wanna state i do stand up for myself.. but i'm talking about being initially nice to people and people choose to trample over it..i just don't understand why people have to be Moderator cut: deleted for no reason(i mean if i treat you with respect why can't you do the same? mutual respect).. so i am saying why don't i just be mean/indifferent/not nice from the jump instead of showing niceness and being screwed.

[cpg35223]

Originally Posted by L'Artiste

i wanna state i do stand up for myself.. but i'm talking about being initially nice to people and people choose to trample over it..i just don't understand why people have to be Moderator cut: deleted for no reason(i mean if i treat you with respect why can't you do the same? mutual respect).. so i am saying why don't i just be mean/indifferent/not nice from the jump instead of showing niceness and being screwed.

Here's a better solution. Develop a finely-calibrated Moderator cut: deleted detector. Learn the difference between a person who is genuinely nice and one who is situationally nice. The hints are subtle, but they're there. For example, a person who is nice to you but isn't nice to the waiter isn't a nice person.

[Baldrick]

On the whole people appreciate it more than your being unpleasant to them..

[The Dissenter]

Originally Posted by L'Artiste

I'm starting to realize there isn't much point in being nice because most people are Moderator cut: deleted who don't care. Being nice has taught me, that people choose to trample over you, rather than just cooperate. Is there really a point? The mean and/or evil people seem to be doing well in life. They have the jobs and the friends and women/men . Being good and nice is not working for me, maybe I should be mean/bad, then maybe then I can have good things ...

I think you can still be nice, I just would not go out of the way to do it. If being nice to someone inconviences me, forget it, unless it has a tangible benefit to me. That is what I'm living by.