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Yah that was the part that caught my eye also.. That some woman have this attitude and don't really understand the legal system..It's not police that put you in jail it is a judge who has to find a reason for confining a person..You just don't pick up the phone and say..."excuse me - Mr. Policeman there is someone bothering me- would you come by and take him and put him a a jail cell for me....I would like to thank you in advance" This mind set is simplistic and shows a very unsophisticated out look on everyday living..getting information of the net is also a mistake- The net is full of mistakes it's not to be used for general reference.
What you should have done the normal thing rather than be governed by irrational fear..When he started staring you should have walked across and talked to the guy..and found out immediately what his concern was about. If it was an attraction - you could have set him straight- If it was some sort of racist hate..you would have found out...They way you were going - you used your imagination and assumed things...As for his temper from what you have overheard - who knows what the story is...His spouse might be the nasty one and be driving him nuts.
The water issue should have been addressed through who ever was responsible for maintaining what seems to be in ill repair. This guy acted as if you were over flowing your bath tub and you were responsible. It appears that you may have to get out of there- it sounds too late to repair the neighbor relationship- Next time get to know your neighbors and make friends and keep a respectful distance- and get that imagination under control.
Good old blame the victim. Why is it the responsibility of the person being threatened....and looks can be threatening....to confront the weirdo. It isn't. Call the police when he accosts you at your door. You did the right thing. Stay out of his way.....do not make eye contact. You have no idea what psychological issues this person has, and he sounds very hostile. IMO, your gut instincts are right on.
Oleg Bach, I don't understand how what his wife does gives him the right to take it out on me.
Robertpolyglot, sorry for the misunderstanding on my behalf. I didn't mean I expected him to go to jail; I was just stating that he didn't. Not sure where you are from, but where I live, it's pretty common. This is not from something I read online. I have seen many of people go to jail over threats without physically touching. That's why I added that part in.
Every time I turn on the news there's someone getting killed over the pettiest of things. I was extremely afraid. I wanted to have this on record in case something happened to my mother or I, they'd know the suspect. THAT'S WHY I CALLED THE COPS!
If there was more to this story, I would know why he does what he does. I wouldn't be here trying to figure out why a stranger that we've been overly kind to acts this way towards me. I know you are not him, but I figured maybe there was a man on here who had did something similar before - and could share his reasons. That's all.
My main concern was trying to figure out the staring part (again, this started way before our altercation). I feel the yelling was partially due to their own personal marital problems; he decided to take part of his frustrations out on me because I'm young, very quiet, to myself. So, he assumed I'd take whatever he dished out without saying a word to anyone.
Another reason that I believe this is because when he came yelling at me, he claimed he had just gotten off work and seen water everywhere when he returned home. However, he had seen my mother that morning when she left for work, she seen him on his balcony, so why didn't he stop her about this instead of waiting about 20 minutes after she left to come approach me about it?
Thanks, JanNDBut, and to those of you who took out the time to give me feedback regarding your thoughts. It's much appreciated and I will take your advice.
Last edited by Crystal1988; 09-02-2012 at 02:14 PM..
My main concern was trying to figure out the staring part (again, this started way before our altercation). I feel the yelling was partially due to their own personal marital problems; he decided to take part of his frustrations out on me because I'm young, very quiet, to myself. So, he assumed I'd take whatever he dished out without saying a word to anyone.
When it comes to someone from another country and cultural background, you need to understand the meaning of staring from his cultural point of view -- hispanic cultures are very machismo for one. Staring you down has to do with dominance, especially sexual dominance. As far as him having a wife, that makes no difference one way or the other as far as him having other women on the side.
In American culture kids are taught it's not polite to stare, Americans might stare until they think someone has noticed and then will quickly turn away and pretend they weren't staring. That's not how it is in other cultures -- he's making it obvious that he's staring you down. Like a cat might stare at a mouse. It's also not polite in his culture -- he doesn't mean to be polite.
Never make eye contact with this man. Keep your doors locked always and never open the door to him for any reason.
If he should have been yelling at anyone, it should have been the landlord for not keeping the pipes in good repair. As you said, the staring predates the flooding. It's possible he thought he could get away with yelling at you. It's also possible he wants to harm you in some way.
My downstairs neighbor's daughter is close to my age, but looks a lot younger. When I had an issue with her blasting music to the point where I could feel the bass through my floor/walls, I didn't yell at her. First I asked her to turn it down. When she didn't respond clearly or normally, possibly because she's likely schizophrenic and/or high from some foul smelling stuff she smokes, I went to her mom before I went to the co-op board.
Yelling at a child of the person renting isn't a normal, rational response. There's something off about this guy and you were wise to keep the door locked.
Here's a similar story. I know a single, very attractive woman who bought herself a new home in a Sunbelt city. She lives alone and minimally knows the neighbors.
Since this area is dry, many of the homes have balconies and patios on second levels, where humidity and dampness would make them more of a headache in other areas of the country. At any rate, the homeowner across the street has a creepy brother living with her, who is obviously not playing will a full deck of cards, sits on the balcony above the 2-car garage, smokes day and night, and creepily stares at my friend. It makes her uncomfortable, so she goes about her business - getting the mail, watering, etc. - very quickly and with a watchful eye.
She doesn't call the police, because staring is not enough of a reason to call the police.
Here's a similar story. I know a single, very attractive woman who bought herself a new home in a Sunbelt city. She lives alone and minimally knows the neighbors.
Since this area is dry, many of the homes have balconies and patios on second levels, where humidity and dampness would make them more of a headache in other areas of the country. At any rate, the homeowner across the street has a creepy brother living with her, who is obviously not playing will a full deck of cards, sits on the balcony above the 2-car garage, smokes day and night, and creepily stares at my friend. It makes her uncomfortable, so she goes about her business - getting the mail, watering, etc. - very quickly and with a watchful eye.
She doesn't call the police, because staring is not enough of a reason to call the police.
The OP's neighbor didn't limit his activities to "staring". He pounded on her door and started screaming at her when she wouldn't open it to him. That's when she called the cops and he should have been at least questioned for that behavior. Not to mention, she's relatively young and he waited 'til her mom left to do it. I'm glad she kept the door locked because there's no telling what he was intending.
My mentally ill neighbor rang my doorbell eight times in a row once and screamed up at my window calling me a B****. We're both women and I called the police. They didn't arrest her btw. When you're dealing with a campaign of harassment, calling the police to document can be helpful, even if they don't arrest anyone. The OP handled this as well as anyone could have in such a situation.
There is a widow in my hood...She stocked me for about a year then came barging in at the end of a party...uninvited- I was drunk..she made an advance and I had sex with her...big mistake...I was drunk...a month later...she came by again when I was partying...she convinced me to take a walk...right into her bed room..well that was a second mistake and I could not wait to get the hell out of their...She's an ugly duckling - so I avoided her...She liked to document any E-mails...I canceled my facebook account...It was as if she was building up an electronic history that I assumed she was showing everyone...How she finally landed a man...
I could tell form the start she was bad news..that she was typical lefty type and a systems person from the corporate world...So put bluntly I rejected her totally and insulted her with the truth of what I really thought...I thought that this person would get the message...One morning after a few months I ran into her at the corner store- where she was using the bank machine...She looked very perturbed and upset...I put gently put my hand on her arm to try to explain that my judgement was askew because I had been drunk....She wanted no part of it and stormed off... A few weeks past and I though..Great..this stalker is off my case..
Then out of the blue she sends me a threatening E-mail...out of the blue...I had not made any attempt to contact her....It consisted of "Don't try to contact me and don't touch me (making reference to putting my hand on her arm in an attempt reason with her) The rest of the message was "I have saved ALL the E-mails and I will show them to the police and get a retraining order"--"This is your last and final warning" _ I was shocked...but not surprise...It seems if she can not have a relationship...she will go for the drama and attempt to pretend one existed...such drama and a mean spirit....I suppose it is ture..."Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"
This drama queen in this tread reminds me of this type of twit...Now I look out my window before I go out to walk the dogs and go the store..to make sure this nut is not out there...I should have known there was something seriously amiss when she came to my door and I said she could not come in...She put a lot of physical force against me trying to force her way in to my home...I could barely hold her back..Warning to desperate lonely men such as my self- If they seem like a stalker...they are a stalker....My best protection is not to react to this jerk...She figured that having sex made me her property and I was the new replacement for her deceased husband..
This woman is so stupid that she actually things she can get you arrested out of anger and spite- simply because I told her what I thought of her..If it is not threatening or a harassment - It is not illegal...Some liberal woman have this idea that they can just dial a phone and off you go to the dungeon- typical of some...Point being...the lady mentioned in this threat is also a light weight and a trouble maker...a single aging woman looking for a man....No man in their right mind would want a person who is willing to bring them harm if they can not have their way....I will never involve myself with just anyone who comes along...I am 62 and I don't have time to waste on a desperate lunatic who will turn on you so quickly......
The staring. If you were a man he would not dare give you the stare...he knows that if he did that to a male neighbor it would be a matter of short time till his nose would get pushed against his face. His wife is an evil freak and is in on it too..Tell them both to F off...This is a cluster of deviates.....The woman is not abused...she takes pleasure in abusing...everyone......bird of a feather flock together...These are a nasty couple...Next time he stares say...You and your wife can F off...find someone else to bother.
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