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Old 10-06-2007, 05:06 PM
 
491 posts, read 1,311,544 times
Reputation: 83

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I could never condone giving up on a friend in their time of most need...

 
Old 10-06-2007, 05:45 PM
 
Location: NE Florida
9,362 posts, read 22,775,463 times
Reputation: 9281
Quote:
Originally Posted by oktaren View Post
I could never condone giving up on a friend in their time of most need...
Yes, but when their time of most need is their entire life, at some point you cease being a friend and become, instead, an enabler.
 
Old 10-06-2007, 06:24 PM
 
Location: Old Town Alexandria
14,505 posts, read 23,743,812 times
Reputation: 8837
Exclamation Thanks my friend....

Quote:
Originally Posted by windchimes03561 View Post
Hi sunny - FWIW, you have enough stressors in your life right now - you don't need this "friend" in it at this point. I would cut the ties now. You said she has not been a friend to you - friendship works both ways - the "friendship" you have with her is one-sided. You can feel bad for her, but it's time to stop being her "sounding board." Tell her you (even though she may not "get it") that you have your own problems and just can't be there to listen to her rehashing everything over and over. Do you have caller ID? If you do, if she continues to call you, don't answer the phone. At some point it will sink in that you no longer want to speak with her.

Right now, she's another "drain" on your emotional health and you sure don't need it! You tried, you did your best, now it's time for you to take care of yourself.

I just had another thought - you mentioned that you think her husband may be preparing to kick her out ... she wouldn't think she can show up on your doorstep if that happens, would she????

I should mention this is over a 15 year period.....it is not like 3 months of incessant calling....it is like, she lets me down, but when SHE needs to talk, calls me freaking out....amd being patronizing to me...lol- I have held myself together (windchimes, you know the whole story this year) also I resent people saying I should just put up with this-lol- I am a mature woman- this girl needs to find a new therapist, I was a good friend but cannot listen to the negativity anymore...It is like you are trying to talk a person off the ledge all year...I am not qualified.....


sunnyh
 
Old 10-06-2007, 06:25 PM
 
Location: Old Town Alexandria
14,505 posts, read 23,743,812 times
Reputation: 8837
Thumbs up Agree

Quote:
Originally Posted by HIF View Post
Yes, but when their time of most need is their entire life, at some point you cease being a friend and become, instead, an enabler.

exactly- I have to wait 24 hours before giving you more +!!!


sunny
 
Old 10-06-2007, 08:43 PM
 
Location: Life here is not an Apollo Mission. Everyone calm down.
1,065 posts, read 4,179,731 times
Reputation: 969
Quote:
Originally Posted by displaced1 View Post
This whole post is so foolish. Doesn't anyone especially people withs Masters Degree's and Juris Doctors have anything better to do. Except what you brought on and move on.
You obviously have never dealt with anyone with borderline personality disorder. (Although, from your posts, you've endured your share of hardship.) That friend of yours that calls you all the time to vent? What if....what if every word of it was a lie? How would you feel then, when that kind ear of yours was wasting time listening to chemically induce deception. BPD is nothing to discard as foolish. BPDs are often sociopaths, have little to no empathy for anyone else, and there is no cure. My (former) BPD friend who landed on my doorstep after being kicked out of his home, unblocked my phone, charged up over $600 in phone bills without my knowledge, stole money from me to buy hundreds of lottery tickets, would disappear without his medication, blame everyone else. They are train wrecks, ticking time bombs, and trust me, you don't want to be their friend when they implode. I'm as sympathetic as anyone, I have a sister and mother who are both mentally ill, but I would take schizophrenia, alcoholism, tackle anything else but another Borderline. So I have to disagree....it's not foolish.

Last edited by MainStreet; 10-06-2007 at 09:02 PM..
 
Old 10-07-2007, 08:53 AM
 
Location: The Great State of Arkansas
5,981 posts, read 16,297,354 times
Reputation: 7572
Exclamation Closing Thread

There's obviously much more to this thread than initially met the eye - it appears to be turning into a vendetta. Thread closed. Contact a senior mod, Yac or Markablue, if you have a problem with it.
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