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Old 09-04-2012, 06:45 AM
 
26 posts, read 45,459 times
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Now that it is September it seems like Thanksgiving and Christmas is right around the corner. With the holidays comes those family get togethers. I have lots of extended family members that we see every Thanksgiving and Christmas but my husband and I believe we would not give 90% of them the time of day if they weren't family.

Of course the media tries to promote an image of happy holidays with lots of fun, great conversation, and love but I am afraid the true story with most people is boredom. Lots of the extended family we see on Holidays live within 30 miles of our home, but we only see them on Holidays. I always ask if we really liked them we would see them more often- wouldn't we.

It is not that we hate the extended family, instead, it is just a question of chemistry. We really don't have any conversational chemistry with them and they really don't enjoy talking to each other either. So why?
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Old 09-04-2012, 07:03 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
7,215 posts, read 7,908,402 times
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Our Christmas schedule can be somewhat stressful. My wife's parents live a good four hours north of us, and it can be a tough drive in winter. We usually spend two nights there, then head back down (usually on Christmas Day or the day after) so we can have Christmas with my family and do our own thing as well. Inevitably my wife feels like we don't spend enough time with her family during the holidays, but it basically is what it is.

As far as conversation, I don't have much in common with most of her family, but it's still worth it to make the effort. People can find things to talk about if they try, even if it's just about sports, the weather, etc.
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Old 09-04-2012, 07:54 AM
 
Location: Colorado
4,308 posts, read 11,803,075 times
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I don't see my family at all on the holidays and spend them entirely by myself. They live 5000 miles away and after a disastrous trip 6 years ago (due to weather) we made the decision not to travel over the holidays ever again. Now we get together at less stressful times of the year.
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Old 09-04-2012, 08:14 AM
 
Location: TX
6,491 posts, read 5,237,230 times
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I don't typically enjoy spending time with anyone I don't spend time with on a regular basis (say, at least once a month). It just gets awkward more often than not.

But I wouldn't change it. There are still some fond memories to be made that way.
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Old 09-04-2012, 08:24 AM
 
Location: Philaburbia
32,371 posts, read 59,817,368 times
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Whatever. I love spending time with my family, extended and otherwise.
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Old 09-04-2012, 10:27 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
44,728 posts, read 36,145,910 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohiogirl81 View Post
Whatever. I love spending time with my family, extended and otherwise.
Same here. I love my extended family in spite of their idiosyncrasies. After all, they have to put up with me, too.

I don't expect them to entertain me - I can entertain myself.
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Old 09-04-2012, 01:31 PM
 
1,320 posts, read 3,159,827 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MaseMan View Post
Our Christmas schedule can be somewhat stressful. My wife's parents live a good four hours north of us, and it can be a tough drive in winter. We usually spend two nights there, then head back down (usually on Christmas Day or the day after) so we can have Christmas with my family and do our own thing as well. Inevitably my wife feels like we don't spend enough time with her family during the holidays, but it basically is what it is.

As far as conversation, I don't have much in common with most of her family, but it's still worth it to make the effort. People can find things to talk about if they try, even if it's just about sports, the weather, etc.
Good post. I just find easy topics, show some interest in what they like and avoid political suff. You can get along this way even with people that are very different. It's just a few days or a week anyway.
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Old 09-04-2012, 05:58 PM
 
Location: New York, NY
1,629 posts, read 2,367,124 times
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I half agree with you since there are family members that I can do without visiting but others I wish I had more time with. I actually wish I could spend a week or two so I could have quality time with each of them. Over the years it's easy to drift apart if you don't spend time.
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Old 09-04-2012, 07:14 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,154,265 times
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Most of my family members are delightful folks and I really enjoy being around them. Wish my cousins (who are all older than I with only 2 exceptions) could manage to get together more often. We are all with our own separate immediate families at holidays and since the days of weddings are over . . . we seem to only meet for funerals. So that is very sad. We have had such things as 50th ad 60th wedding anniversaries for various of our parents, so those were nice times.

I do find it very stressful to deal with two particular family members - and never enjoy being with them - they over personalize things wh/ are not even directed to them and it leaves everyone feeling they must walk on eggshells. Plus, they are simply very negative folks and insist on always being "right." We all just have to politely smile and move on, unless they are determined to start a big argument, in which case all we can do is try to change the subject or walk off. I can't imagine why folks like that don't get the message that if they are always getting offended and no one else is - the problem must be with THEM, lol.

So if certain individuals are in the mix, it can be kind of tense for us all . . . which is too bad. However, I have found the bigger the gathering - preferably 24 or more - the less likely to have to deal w/ a few malcontents individually - so I try to always plan BIG gatherings. In those instances, I can truly say - the more, the merrier, indeed.
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Old 09-04-2012, 07:46 PM
 
Location: Chicago
211 posts, read 477,801 times
Reputation: 375
I love coming together with my family for the holidays...It's too bad not everyone feels that way :/.
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