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Old 09-18-2012, 10:48 PM
Location: Middle of the ocean
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My nephews and nieces will even call me when they are in town to hang out. They are 20+ younger.
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Old 09-18-2012, 10:52 PM
Location: Tucson for awhile longer
8,872 posts, read 13,515,355 times
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My experience is much like the OPs. The children don't talk with me, they answer my attempts at conversation with one-word answers. No genuine thank yous. The most cursory appreciation expressed for special things like rides their parents don't have time to give them. Except when there are multiple children at a sit-down dinner. Then the kids totally dominate the conversation and their parents beam and expect the non-parents to think their children are brilliant. I stopped going to one relative's house for Thanksgiving after the dinner conversation consisted of junior high kids TELLING their parents that they wanted to go on spring break and how much money they would have to pony up. The best part. These YOUNG teens ended up going to a ski resort for four days.
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Old 09-19-2012, 12:49 AM
Location: Santa Barbara CA
4,707 posts, read 10,146,416 times
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My 3 nephews have always talked to me. The youngest liked to hang out if I had a friend with me and was not shy at all about joining the conversation. My best friends 2 daughters who I consider to be my neices have always talked to me when I visit as have 4 of her neices that I had first met when they were little kids and was lucky enough to see a few times each year at parties and on a yearly camping trip. All are now in their early 20's and for a few years now have even befriended me on face book... their request and yes we do comminucate on FB which I find very funny as a teen and young 20 something I would not have wanted someone old enough to be my mom as a facebook friend( if we had face book back then).
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Old 09-19-2012, 01:08 AM
Location: Cushing OK
14,547 posts, read 17,498,613 times
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Generally yes, but I remember when my nephew was 14. He didn't want to come. But mom insisted since he'd be home alone. He arrived holding a book, went to the garage, and sat and read his book. Never came out unless he needed to. Someone took him dinner. You can make the body come, but not the mind, especially at that age.
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Old 09-19-2012, 09:56 AM
28,906 posts, read 46,649,709 times
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Originally Posted by BKmachine View Post
This thread is so southern...
You say that like it's a bad thing. One thing I've noticed after living in the South for a long time is that the average Southerner has far better social skills than his or her northern counterpart. And it begins with how they raise their kids. When we moved here, my wife and I were blown away by the number of kids who had very good manners. Not just saying 'please' and 'thank you' but being able to hold a conversation with an adult rather than staring a hole in the television or whatever electronic device he or she was holding at the moment. Oh, sure, there are exceptions. But, on the whole, I've found this is absolutely the case.
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Old 09-20-2012, 02:48 AM
8,223 posts, read 10,752,555 times
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Originally Posted by Cdarocks View Post
Jerseygal4u - part of parenting is teaching kids to interact appropriately with others, especially adults and authority figures. This starts at home with extended family. I too, do not appreciate it when I am having a conversation with an adult and a child comes flying up, inserting themselves into the conversation, usually with an annoying "can I?" question. This is not tolerated in our house either. However, this is not what the OP was asking about.

Seen and not heard seems to me like an excuse not to be bothered with a very important part of parenting. Instead of instruction, you got slapped? Nice.

We have gatherings that actively include the kids and others that do not. Our kids know and respect the difference.
I don't know what the OP is talking about then.
I assumed it was a get together. But still,that's how it happened I'm my home.
The adults ddnt have conversations with the children.
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Old 09-20-2012, 05:32 AM
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I noticed that kids between 14 & 18 don't talk much to adults. Once they graduate high school and are in college or working, they get better at being social with older adults.
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Old 09-20-2012, 06:28 AM
Location: Orlando
8,181 posts, read 16,528,212 times
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When our kids were the dreaded teenagers we seem to go thru spurts.
Now between family, in-laws and out-laws there were usually 20 kids running around. Ages now are 15-30.
When they were younger they would all play together or hang with each other.
We went thru the usual teen angst. You know the one where it's just too cool to ignore the clueless adults.

Now that the majority of them are over the age of 20, they are delightful young people and we all enjoy talking together. The difference is now we're playing with THEIR kids and smiling that secret smile of knowing that they too will be ignored by the little darlings playing on the floor.
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Old 09-20-2012, 08:38 AM
442 posts, read 509,012 times
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Mine do, to a certain extent.

I'm surprised a certain poster hasn't weighed in on this topic, as she believes that holidays are more for adult discussions about world events, with little to no kid input.

Only from my own experience, I think it also depends on how welcome the kids feel over time. We have one set where kids have always been welcomed, all the adults really try to interact with the kids. Then I have my own side where there's been times where they have been treated where they were invisible, or where adults won't acknowledge what they have said.
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Old 09-20-2012, 12:25 PM
75 posts, read 82,317 times
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I was not expecting the teenagers to want to have a long conversation with the adults but how about at least "some small talk" I see so many cases where older adults (Grandparents, etc) will try to be polite and ask the kids about what they have been up to and questions about school, church, hobbies, etc. The Grandparents spent lots of hours and money at the mall buying the same kids presents for their birthday or christmas. But when they try to talk to the kids the teenagers give one word answers and grunts and roll their eyes. If I was Grandpa I would stop the presents until the kids got some manners.
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