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Old 09-23-2012, 04:21 AM
 
Location: Windham County, VT
10,619 posts, read 4,921,743 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
How about you? How is your relationship with your first cousins?
My father had no siblings, and my mother's siblings had no offspring, so I have no first cousins.
What remains of my family is, for the most part, pretty distant: genetically, geographically, and inter-personally.
I'm not complaining-there are upsides and downsides to this state of affairs-I'm just sayin' how it is.
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Old 09-23-2012, 04:25 PM
 
47,576 posts, read 60,475,092 times
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I like my cousins, I saw a lot of them as a child but not too much now. Partly because I moved away and many of them did also. They were like kids at school -- I grew up with them, only I liked my cousins a lot more than most of the kids at school.

It would be nice to see all of them again.
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Old 09-23-2012, 07:44 PM
 
907 posts, read 1,373,265 times
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I was never close with my immediate cousins because they all lived far bug my dads cousins ( I never figured out how this worked out but they range from 5 years younger than me to 7 years older) especially the one that's 4 years older than me was like my older sister. She lived up the block amd we did everything together. She was like my parents unofficial eldest child. I loved it. I feel thats what cousins should be.
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Old 09-23-2012, 07:47 PM
 
Location: Philaburbia
32,309 posts, read 59,595,182 times
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I have about 40 first cousins; most are a lot older than I am, a few are younger. I'm very close to maybe about a dozen of my cousins, we stay in touch via e-mail and Facebook, and even though I don't see them all that much, when we do see each other it's like we haven't been apart for more than a day or two. My oldest cousins' kids are about my age or a little younger, too.
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Old 09-23-2012, 09:37 PM
 
5,703 posts, read 16,127,345 times
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Not much to be honest. When I was a child my mother forced me to spend almost every weekend with my cousins. Every weekend in the summer was a sleep over and quite a few times during the school year. My mom and my aunt were close and they wanted their kids to be close. The problem was my one cousin who was around the same age as me, was a huge spoiled brat. She is far worse as a adult. Super fake, its all about how things look and how she can try to impress others. I think she is probably the most shallow person I have ever met in my life. Her husband is a really nice guy. He told me once that their marriage works because he is a giver and his wife is a taker. Yep, sounds like her.
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Old 09-24-2012, 08:14 AM
 
Location: Louisiana and Pennsylvania
2,755 posts, read 5,308,128 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
Are they very much part of the family, closer to siblings (although rarely are they the same)?

Do you see them as just good friends?

Or are they just like strangers to you?

Do you feel any sense of loyalty to them and vice versa?


I have quite a few cousins, all over the world. They range in age from 13 to 40. The ones that live in the same city as me, I see perhaps a few times a year. We're pretty friendly, and they're definitely still 'family' (I don't like to give family a lot of 'privileges' but it's still different) but I'm not sure how they compare to good friends. I'd say it's similar to friends.

As for my other cousins, since I so rarely see them they seem like strangers to me. The times I have met them, some of them haven't acted very friendly or interested in getting to know me. I don't expect special treatment just because of blood relations, but it was a bit of a let-down. I suppose they still consider me strangers too.

How about you? How is your relationship with your first cousins?
I have some that are like siblings, others like best friends, some closer than others, some I see once in a while, and a couple that I am not close to at all, but we still get along and respect one another. I think a lot of it is time, age, distance and circumstances.

One cousin close to my age died suddenly a few years ago and it was devastating. I felt like I lost both a sister and a friend. There are some others if they passed away i would feel the loss, but in all honesty, wouldn't feel the same way I did about her.

It's interesting because when I was younger and a relative died, I ended up meeting cousins I never knew I had at the funeral and afterwards. We hung out and kicked it like no time was lost. My dad was also from a small town and whenever we pass through, I end up meeting a new cousin.

As for "loyalty" it has nothing to do with blood. I have more loyalty to certain friends than family, so it depends.

Last edited by Gil3; 09-24-2012 at 08:38 AM..
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Old 09-24-2012, 08:50 AM
 
Location: right here
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Very close with my cousins ( my fist and second)...they are like brothers and sisters..talk to most of them at least 4 times a week.
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Old 09-24-2012, 08:56 AM
 
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I have 2 cousins both about 200miles away and I see them a couple of times a year when I take my Mum to visit her sister (they're both her daughters and live a short drive from her).

Apart from that it's Christmas and Birthday cards really with an odd phone call here and there.
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Old 09-24-2012, 09:10 AM
 
3,592 posts, read 4,707,548 times
Reputation: 4735
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
Are they very much part of the family, closer to siblings (although rarely are they the same)?

Do you see them as just good friends?

Or are they just like strangers to you?

Do you feel any sense of loyalty to them and vice versa?


I have quite a few cousins, all over the world. They range in age from 13 to 40. The ones that live in the same city as me, I see perhaps a few times a year. We're pretty friendly, and they're definitely still 'family' (I don't like to give family a lot of 'privileges' but it's still different) but I'm not sure how they compare to good friends. I'd say it's similar to friends.

As for my other cousins, since I so rarely see them they seem like strangers to me. The times I have met them, some of them haven't acted very friendly or interested in getting to know me. I don't expect special treatment just because of blood relations, but it was a bit of a let-down. I suppose they still consider me strangers too.

How about you? How is your relationship with your first cousins?

Hmm. For the most part, they are cold, selfish jealous competitive backbiters who suck up and bash my family to the uncles and aunts. (the uncles and aunts? they listen to them. Hm. BIG SURPRISE) They fought with us and messed with us when we were kids and now that we're all grown, they've decided to stay in touch with other cousins but not me and my siblings. I have two who treated my children and me fairly decently, about 10 years ago, but now they've gone more or less rogue, too.

So the answer is, "Not Much"
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Old 09-24-2012, 09:34 AM
 
1,072 posts, read 2,501,742 times
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Of my 8 first cousins, I consider three of them like siblings. We all grew up in the same town so I'm sure that played a role. The three that are closest in age are like siblings to me. My sister and our two female cousins, all talk at least weekly and I probably see the one that lives fairly close by weekly. We are all in our 30s. Their brother and I talk to about once a month and I consider him like a big brother.

My other cousins I keep in touch with largely over Facebook. I do think Facebook has been helpful in knowing more about what is going on in their lives, especially the guys who aren't big on talking on the phone. I also have 15 to 20 2nd or 3rd cousins that I keep in touch with much in the way most people keep in touch with their 1st cousins. We see each other on holidays and maybe email a few times a year.
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