Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I mean, I don't expect to be complimented by my relatives who I barely see now that I'm an adult and I have my own life. But it's awkward when I go to family get togethers and my aunts compliment my twin sister's makeup and not mine, tell her she lost weight (she's had 3 children, I have none, but heck I've lost weight and am thinner) and looks great and say nothing to me, compliment her sense of fashion, handbags, etc.
We used to look alike (we are fraternal), and as we've grown older we now look very different. She is taller, heavier, slightly darker. She has natural hair. We dress very differently. But we are pretty much the same person, with the same likes, dislikes, etc.
One of my aunts even went so far to point out our baby pics and say that my twin sister was the cuter one in every baby photo. I mean I don't really care, but what the hell's the point in that???
I try not to be paranoid but it kind of feels like I'm being purposefully slighted.
Yes you do.
Just admit it, so you can start getting past it.
Here's the thing, as adults we must learn to love ourselves enough to have complete confidence in who we are.
When you reach that point, the opinions of others won't carry the weight that they do now.
Have some kids and compare the compliments then....
j/k not something you should sweat... just one of those minor annoyances or they could think that you don't need any compliments due to already looking nice and being confident
I'm a triplet and that would hurt my feelings if that happened too. It is okay to admit to things hurting your feelings--you are human, not a robot. I would honestly just let them know in a non confrontational way. Weird, but family and friends tend to do this with twins without even recognizing it. They don't do it intentionally but it does happen. When people see twins they tend to automatically start the campaign of comparing, lol. One is prettier, smarter, more stylish. I suggest you speak up about it if it is bothering you enough to create a thread about it. My sister and I certainly did. Nipped that in the bud a few years ago. We made joke of it in a light manner one Christmas day, so that they could know we were serious, but not necessarily crying about it. The sis was complimented on her education (we are both well educated but she is a top of the line lawyer living in NY (prestige) I was always complimented on my beauty. Ridiculous because we are both gorgeous. I have more of a softer looking face and curvaceous body, where as my sis is a tad leaner and her face looks a tad bit more stern. But she is just as beautiful and I am just as smart!
They still do it every once in a while, but not so much. At this point we don't even care, we have accepted that this is just what people do with twins. We know who we are. Two Fabulous ladies (the third triplet is a boy, of course nothing to compare there).
Here's the thing, as adults we must learn to love ourselves enough to have complete confidence in who we are.
When you reach that point, the opinions of others won't carry the weight that they do now.
I don't care about their opinions, I don't care if my sister had a cuter, chubbier face when we were infants. But I do care that I have family members who are purposefully slighting me and think nothing of it...particularly if they do it so egregiously.
I don't care about their opinions, I don't care if my sister had a cuter, chubbier face when we were infants. But I do care that I have family members who are purposefully slighting me and think nothing of it...particularly if they do it so egregiously.
There are lines between them doing it purposefully and natural human behavior....
Like when you see a large person trying to lose weight and offer them encouragement or when someone is having a string of bad luck and you give them the pep talk.....
But she is just as beautiful and I am just as smart!
Yes. My sister is my best friend. I can't imagine being so insecure as to have to one-up her in anyone's eyes. People compare me to my twin a lot. I've gotten upset with people who try to insinuate she's less physically attractive (yea, she's had three kids have you?), I don't know if they think they are complimenting me. Similarly, I don't think my sister gets anything out of my family members' telling her that she was the cuter baby, has better makeup etc.
My twin has bucket loads of self esteem, believe me. She doesn't need their compliments.
Yes. My sister is my best friend. I can't imagine being so insecure as to have to one-up her in anyone's eyes. People compare me to my twin a lot. I've gotten upset with people who try to insinuate she's less physically attractive (yea, she's had three kids have you?), I don't know if they think they are complimenting me. Similarly, I don't think my sister gets anything out of my family members' telling her that she was the cuter baby, has better makeup etc.
My twin has bucket loads of self esteem, believe me. She doesn't need their compliments.
Yes my sissy is my bestie too and we would not dare try to one up one another. There is sometimes friendly sister competition. That's always natural and done in a more so fun way or because one accomplishes something and inspires the other to do well too.
How do I say this tactfully. I took a look at your profile. You are lovely indeed. But could they be hesitant to comment on that because you dress. Well. Like. You know?
Have you ever considered that they just don't LIKE you?
It happens sometimes. My family has an absolutely horrible opinion of me, but when people who know me speak to them, hear the things they say, they're often quite taken aback and more than once have remarked to me "It's like they don't know you at all! What did you ever do to them?" There's no rhyme or reason for it, it just IS.
It would be one thing if they were merely complimentary toward your twin; but it's quite another to make comparisons such as with the baby pictures.
Not everyone likes everyone else; that's just the way it is, and maybe they don't particularly care for you, or your personality, or looks. Who knows? It seems hurtful until you learn to ignore it.
Those who matter know you, and those who don't know you don't really matter.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
. I mean I don't really care, but what the hell's the point in that???
Two Fabulous ladies 
