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They sound as if they just aren't very nice. Maybe they feel threatened by you and your choice not to marry and have children at a young age. I'd be angry and hurt, too, at such behavior by family, but I don't know what can be done about it. It probably stems from some problem or insecurity they have and has nothing to do with you or your sister.
Maybe because you and your sister are completely different personalities. She's married and has a family. You pick up married men and sugar daddies and flaunt your boobs. Maybe when she's visiting with them she's not on her phone texting the whole time. Maybe they don't like you, like someone else said. Your family loves you because you're kin but doesn't mean they have to "like" you.
^^^ I'm thinking the same thing. Your aunts are being supportive of your sister who has had three kids. They want her to feel good about her looks despite having been pregnant three times. You are single and look fine. You don't need compliments and definitely not from your family members. As a single person, all you should really care about is how single men view you in terms of being datable.
How do I say this tactfully. I took a look at your profile. You are lovely indeed. But could they be hesitant to comment on that because you dress. Well. Like. You know?
I think that this might be part of it .... You are very pretty, but you seem to be seeking attention all the time, what with all the posting abotr and pictures of your boobs. You have even gone into a "career" field that relies on your physical appearance (Hooters). I wonder if you went into that job looking or at least enjoying what must be a lot of feedback on your how attractive you are?
1) some families are just more intensely competitive than others. My mom's family was like this. My grandfather and great uncle would make her/her sisters have a spell off with cousins to see who could spell better. I think they even may have woken up the kids after drinking for that, not sure. And my mother and her sisters were intensely competitive. My mom's also a non-identical twin. She was deemed the smart one, the other twin the pretty one. It tends to transfer down the generations. My mom's twin didn't have any kids, but their other sister did and one is a daughter less than a year older. They did the same smart/pretty thing and I was told I should look more like her, do x, y & z more like her.
My mother compared me unfavorably to my brother constantly. I had one ex-boyfriend who couldn't understand how my brother had been in prison & was still the favorite.
And it does hurt to be subjected to that. The last Christmas we spent together, my brother didn't have any money for gifts for my mom & step-dad and he felt bad about it. I felt badly for him and asked if he wanted to sign the cards I had for them and we'd say the gifts were from both of us. My mom's reply was to say "I know this gift is from [exscapegoat's real name]." And then something along the lines of it doesn't matter because the best gift she could have was her son home. During this same "festivity" and I do use that term loosely, she laughed at every joke he made and went on about how she loved hearing his comments during tv. I literally got shhed during the one comment I tried to make. I was pushing freakin' forty and I got shhed! It was a few more years before I went into total cut off with them, but it was the last holiday I spent with them. I don't need that.
2) Sometimes families have to pick a scapegoat to make themselves feel better. If you've departed from the family norm in any way (staying single, moving, etc.), they may try to take you down to make them feel better about themselves. Do they also compare you unfavorably to other family members and act like you can't do anything right?
I've since learned some coping techniques. When someone says or does something really obnoxious like your aunt with the baby photos, people tend to want to confront or gloss it over. But neither of those are going to work. Contronting will make you look like the bad guy, glossing it over puts the brunt of the discomfort on you. You can do things like:
1) don't even justify them with an answer. Let them twist and turn in weird, awkward, uncomfortable silence
2) look away from them and start talking to someone else
3) pretend you are watching a nature documentary and you've just observed some really bizarre behavior among a species
If they're familiar with the Brady Bunch, you might want to make a joke out of it and channel Jan Brady, "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia" which will be even funnier because you're twins.
They're probably complimenting your sister for not "letting herself go" after becoming a mother. They probably feel that you don't need any compliments since you don't have to deal with the added stress of having children.
One other thing that has peripherally been alluded to: Family members can be pretty passive-aggressive. Dishing out compliments by the bucket load in a situation of gross inequity to one sister may be an attempt to get you to look at and emulate the model (sister) being complimented. Whether it's the subtle message to get serious, settle down already and have a family or promoting a less overt beauty model, there is most certainly a message being passed. What does your twin say? Have you had this conversation with her?
From the posts that I've read from you, it appears that you like a lot of attention, this may be what they are pointedly not giving you and showing their disapproval at the same time. FWIW it's unfair to you both not to be more direct in their dealings or more accepting of how differently you both turned out.
As you know, there are "favorites" in any family. Your family could have a very competitive nature as well. For instance, you don't have to say so, do you all discuss what kind of salary you make with your closest relatives? Or things that you buy? What your house is worth, etc? Or something else that you all compare each other to?
I am not exactly a favorite in my family and I am used to getting all kinds of criticisms (or compliments that you seem to seek). It is hard to take in large doses when you feel slighted and you are sensitive to it all.
I get ignored as well by some family members as I am not a "favorite" for many reasons. I try my best, and try not to sweat the small stuff, there must be other reasons why they compliment your sister more than they do you. Look for the positives rather than the small things. I would let it go and look for the good stuff with family.
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