My family compliments my twin sister incessantly and not me (boyfriend, father)
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I mean, I don't expect to be complimented by my relatives who I barely see now that I'm an adult and I have my own life. But it's awkward when I go to family get togethers and my aunts compliment my twin sister's makeup and not mine, tell her she lost weight (she's had 3 children, I have none, but heck I've lost weight and am thinner) and looks great and say nothing to me, compliment her sense of fashion, handbags, etc.
We used to look alike (we are fraternal), and as we've grown older we now look very different. She is taller, heavier, slightly darker. She has natural hair. We dress very differently. But we are pretty much the same person, with the same likes, dislikes, etc.
One of my aunts even went so far to point out our baby pics and say that my twin sister was the cuter one in every baby photo. I mean I don't really care, but what the hell's the point in that???
I try not to be paranoid but it kind of feels like I'm being purposefully slighted.
Maybe your family is into natural boobs. (Sorry, sometimes the jokes just write themselves....)
Honestly, if I had to guess, there is more to it. Is your twin a bit self concious? Maybe she really struggled with the vigors of having three babies and they are just trying to encourage her? Maybe they think you are confident enough, but she needs it?
There are so many dynamics that "might" go into this, but we (CD) are not privy to all of that.
I'd say that if you are comfy with who you are, then don't sweat it. Be your best, and make sure you are content each day as head meets pillow.
How do I say this tactfully. I took a look at your profile. You are lovely indeed. But could they be hesitant to comment on that because you dress. Well. Like. You know?
Believe it or not, I don't dress the same I do when I go out at night as I do for family occasions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Urban Sasquatch
I am NOT trying to be a jerk, but...
Have you ever considered that they just don't LIKE you?
Yes, I have considered that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Myghost
Maybe they think you are confident enough, but she needs it?
My sister is one of the most confident, secure women you'll ever meet! One of the many reasons I admire her.
I don't care about their opinions, I don't care if my sister had a cuter, chubbier face when we were infants. But I do care that I have family members who are purposefully slighting me and think nothing of it...particularly if they do it so egregiously.
Of course I care to find out why they are slighting me.
The "why" doesn't matter, don't you see??
You are hurt that they are treating you this way - meaning you do care about their opinions. If you didn't really care there would be no hurt feelings.
Work to rise above all that.
Learn to have more confidence in who you are and this kind of crap will mean nothing to you.
Until then, feel free to point out to them that they are hurting your feelings and that you find their behavior rude. Then walk away - don't engage them beyond that point.
Maybe because you and your sister are completely different personalities. She's married and has a family. You pick up married men and sugar daddies and flaunt your boobs. Maybe when she's visiting with them she's not on her phone texting the whole time. Maybe they don't like you, like someone else said. Your family loves you because you're kin but doesn't mean they have to "like" you.
Sounds like while they may like you, they don't really respect you.
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