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Old 09-27-2012, 11:18 AM
 
28,896 posts, read 53,973,059 times
Reputation: 46662

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Quote:
Originally Posted by chit chatter View Post
Because this is a message board and I won't get slapped in the face for my honesty (and this is a true story/ongoing situation), I just wanted to be honest.

I am sure there are lots of people in a similar situation. They used someone to get where they are and when the person who helped no longer was in the position to help them anymore then they dump the other person from their life. Be honest now, you have done it too.
Inadvertently, perhaps, when I was twenty. But if you are a real adult, it is unconscionable that you would even consider turning your back on someone who has done so much for you simply because he is of no use to you anymore. There are people in my professional life like that who are now retired. I try to keep up with them, return their e-mails and phone calls and take them to lunch when practical. Because they deserve it of me.

Since we're being honest here, the true measure of a person's character is in how he treats someone who can do him no immediate good. Based on that litmus test, you fail spectacularly. Show loyalty and gratitude for the people in life who helped you. As someone wrote earlier in this thread, WTF is wrong with you?
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Old 09-27-2012, 01:41 PM
 
Location: East Side
522 posts, read 711,916 times
Reputation: 615
yes you should because of all he did for you. a little reciprocity on your wouldnt hurt. find out his hobbies like golf or movies or join a business networking club with him. go out to dinner what is an hour or two a week after the lift of a lifetime he gave you?
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Old 09-27-2012, 02:11 PM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,126 posts, read 10,075,315 times
Reputation: 11796
Okay then, because this is a message board I'll be honest with you. You sound like a jerk. Is it really too much for you to have lunch with this person now and again after he's gone out his way to help you get your career where it is today? It's called gratitude for all the ways he helped you when he didn't have to.
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Old 09-27-2012, 03:45 PM
 
Location: right here
4,160 posts, read 5,598,703 times
Reputation: 4929
I'd bow down to him everyday....gee someone who helped you in the workplace, is actually a nice guy, helped you make a good amount of money, and you are asking if you should go see him once in a while? Do you realize how many people would kill for someone in the workplace who isn't backstabbing them, trying to get them fired, or trying to take their job?
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Old 09-27-2012, 03:53 PM
 
28,896 posts, read 53,973,059 times
Reputation: 46662
Quote:
Originally Posted by dnvrsoul View Post
I'd bow down to him everyday....gee someone who helped you in the workplace, is actually a nice guy, helped you make a good amount of money, and you are asking if you should go see him once in a while? Do you realize how many people would kill for someone in the workplace who isn't backstabbing them, trying to get them fired, or trying to take their job?
Damn, you'd think. Hopefully, with all the incoming flak, the OP has retreated to peer within and come to grips with his or her empty soul.

I mean, hell, I had a client who did me an enormous world of good fifteen years ago. But, nearing the end of his career, he fell on hard times and was forced into retirement. Over the past few years, I've called him up, sent e-mails his way every couple of months, invited him for drinks when I've been in town, flew to his wife's funeral, and have even given him some select assignments on projects. Could I have shunted that work to someone else? Sure. But he does a good job and really puts his back into it. I feel as if it is the least I can do for the man.
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Old 09-27-2012, 04:13 PM
 
13,513 posts, read 19,204,067 times
Reputation: 16577
Quote:
Originally Posted by chit chatter View Post
Because this is a message board and I won't get slapped in the face for my honesty (and this is a true story/ongoing situation), I just wanted to be honest.

I am sure there are lots of people in a similar situation. They used someone to get where they are and when the person who helped no longer was in the position to help them anymore then they dump the other person from their life. Be honest now, you have done it too.
You're probably right, in fact I know there's a lotta jerks out there, but I'm thankful I'm able to say (honestly) I've never , and never will, treat someone who's cared for me, in such a callous, ungrateful, and disrespectful way.
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Old 09-27-2012, 04:21 PM
 
12,535 posts, read 15,154,564 times
Reputation: 29087
Not only should you meet him, you should be buying.

Really, how ungratefully bratty of you.
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Old 09-27-2012, 04:50 PM
 
74 posts, read 134,276 times
Reputation: 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post
Not only should you meet him, you should be buying.

Really, how ungratefully bratty of you.
Your response below is typical of what most everyone is saying. I am terrible because I dropped the old man who no longer can help me.

That's life in the big city and nearly everyone does that. People use others and cast them aside when they are no longer useful. Just like I plan to do. Do you think actors in Hollywood who everyone deferred to and laughed at their jokes and acted all buddy buddy with after the actor had a blockbuster movie, don't understand the game? Once their career goes down hill and the movies are not doing so well, those good friends won't give them the time of day. In Washington DC, when one party is in power the important people invite those people who can help them to parties and their home, but when the people or political party is no longer in power, no one will give their previous "good friend" the time of day.

I remember a powerful executive at a company I worked at who was getting married and getting an invitation to the wedding was an indication if you were in or out at the company. The employees and managers who were invited were just so excited and were counting the days to the event. But something funny happened, the powerful executive was demoted by the corporate office in Dallas and her boss was fired. Now she was a no body and everyone who had planned to go to the wedding conveniently had other commitments. No one from the company ended up going to the wedding. She was fired a few months later. She actually was a nice lady who had helped many of the people who now would not give her the time of day due to her demotion and expected termination. (They hung her out to dry for months making her a laughing stock!)

A valuable set of lessons about business relationships.
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Old 09-27-2012, 04:59 PM
 
410 posts, read 798,976 times
Reputation: 247
Quote:
Originally Posted by chit chatter View Post
I really don't need him anymore
Sad comment isn't it? Use and use and discard like an old pair of socks. All the thrashing back and forth by the people of this forum probably won't sway your thoughts. You've convinced yourself that since "every one" is doing it, you should too.

I can only hope one day "what comes around, goes around."
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Old 09-27-2012, 05:14 PM
 
861 posts, read 1,245,542 times
Reputation: 838
From the phrasing of the title, looks like you've already decided for whatever reason they are no longer your friend, or you're no longer theirs. It appears your question should be amended with the words "former friend". And in sodoing, the answer to your question should be self-evident. Or, put another way, by the design of your question, it doesn't appear you're a friend of this person. And so why are you asking the question? Are you asking permission of strangers to dump your friend?
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