Would you stick with someone as a friend because you "owe them"? (person, senior)
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A person 15 years older than me acted as a mentor when we were both at a company and taught me alot. He also watched my back and saw that I survived some serious office politics that almost ate me alive. He was two levels above me on the corporate latter.
The next year he moved on to another company and got me an interview and strongly encouraged they hire me at the firm he was working at. I would have never got the job at that prestigious employer without his help. At that firm he also helped me move ahead and was my senior management advocate.
On a professional basis he was my savior. But on a personal basis we have no chemistry or conversational connection. I find him hard to talk to and we struggle connecting. He does not see this and wants to meet with me for lunch on a regular basis and talk. He wants to be my friend.
I really don't need him anymore and wish we could end our connection. But maybe I owe him and should see him and try my best to communicate with this now old retired man who is lonely. He is the main reason I have made so much money in my career and had such great jobs.
So, should I still get together with him because I owe it to him?
hmmm. he probably wouldn't be too thrilled to think that you're meeting him just because you feel you "owe it to him"...How sad that this great guy, this "mentor', this "saviour" has become (now that he's of no use to you) a lonely "old retired man"...meet him if it makes you feel good, but if it's a bother, then don't.... I doubt he wants pity or sympathy from you, if that's all you can give, I feel sad for this man....he obviously cared for you, and looked out for you, and maybe he still does....If you get together with him I hope it's to let him know how much you appreciated him being there for you, and supporting you all these years.
A person 15 years older than me acted as a mentor when we were both at a company and taught me alot. He also watched my back and saw that I survived some serious office politics that almost ate me alive. He was two levels above me on the corporate latter.
The next year he moved on to another company and got me an interview and strongly encouraged they hire me at the firm he was working at. I would have never got the job at that prestigious employer without his help. At that firm he also helped me move ahead and was my senior management advocate.
On a professional basis he was my savior. But on a personal basis we have no chemistry or conversational connection. I find him hard to talk to and we struggle connecting. He does not see this and wants to meet with me for lunch on a regular basis and talk. He wants to be my friend.
I really don't need him anymore and wish we could end our connection. But maybe I owe him and should see him and try my best to communicate with this now old retired man who is lonely. He is the main reason I have made so much money in my career and had such great jobs.
So, should I still get together with him because I owe it to him?
Do the lonely old man a favor and leave him alone.
He helped you out immensely when you needed him and because you have no use for him, you discard him like a candy wrapper. Nice!
Because this is a message board and I won't get slapped in the face for my honesty (and this is a true story/ongoing situation), I just wanted to be honest.
I am sure there are lots of people in a similar situation. They used someone to get where they are and when the person who helped no longer was in the position to help them anymore then they dump the other person from their life. Be honest now, you have done it too.
Because this is a message board and I won't get slapped in the face for my honesty (and this is a true story/ongoing situation), I just wanted to be honest.
I am sure there are lots of people in a similar situation. They used someone to get where they are and when the person who helped no longer was in the position to help them anymore then they dump the other person from their life. Be honest now, you have done it too.
Um, no. I may be a lot of things but I don't use people. Wtf is wrong with you?
Because this is a message board and I won't get slapped in the face for my honesty (and this is a true story/ongoing situation), I just wanted to be honest.
I am sure there are lots of people in a similar situation. They used someone to get where they are and when the person who helped no longer was in the position to help them anymore then they dump the other person from their life. Be honest now, you have done it too.
You yourself talk about "owe." Have the integrity to pay back with courtesy and attention, it won't kill you once in awhile. And it may improve your character.
You might be surprised at the number of people who do not use other people as toilet paper.
A person 15 years older than me acted as a mentor when we were both at a company and taught me alot. He also watched my back and saw that I survived some serious office politics that almost ate me alive. He was two levels above me on the corporate latter.
The next year he moved on to another company and got me an interview and strongly encouraged they hire me at the firm he was working at. I would have never got the job at that prestigious employer without his help. At that firm he also helped me move ahead and was my senior management advocate.
On a professional basis he was my savior. But on a personal basis we have no chemistry or conversational connection. I find him hard to talk to and we struggle connecting. He does not see this and wants to meet with me for lunch on a regular basis and talk. He wants to be my friend.
I really don't need him anymore and wish we could end our connection. But maybe I owe him and should see him and try my best to communicate with this now old retired man who is lonely. He is the main reason I have made so much money in my career and had such great jobs.
So, should I still get together with him because I owe it to him?
This is just plain selfishness on your part. Here this person has done a great deal to help you advance your career and now you're dispensing with him? Do you really shuck people because they are not immediately useful to you anymore?
There are people like that in my life and my career. It isn't a matter of if you have a connection with the guy. It's a matter of choosing to have a connection with him. You find it hard to converse with the guy chiefly because you're not interested in what he has to say.
Try and summon a little gratitude for what the guy has done for you over the years rather than resent him by thinking, "What have you done for me lately?" While it may not be professionally rewarding anymore, it sure as hell will be rewarding personally.
Because this is a message board and I won't get slapped in the face for my honesty (and this is a true story/ongoing situation), I just wanted to be honest.
I am sure there are lots of people in a similar situation. They used someone to get where they are and when the person who helped no longer was in the position to help them anymore then they dump the other person from their life. Be honest now, you have done it too.
Actually I have never USED anyone to get ahead in my career I did it all by myself and I am very proud of that fact. I feel sadness for this man that you feel you do not NEED any longer because you are now all high and mighty and he is the little guy. It is shameful he wasted so much time, energy and effort on you and this is what he gets for all of that.
In my opinion what you OWE HIM is an apology for wasting his time and using him until he can be disposed of AND for taking credit for your success when he is the one that got that success for you.
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